Scared to Lose

on 10/23/20 11:10 am
This may sound like a stupid question, but has anyone ever been scared to lose the weight? I mean really WANTING to lose weight, but at the same time being scared of losing it, because your weight was what defined you (almost) all of your life? Although it was in a negative way. I'm scared of the skin, my hair falling out, dumping, just so many thoughts. I can't describe it better, but maybe some will understand
on 10/23/20 2:50 pm
RNY on 02/14/18

I didn't have that; I think that different people have different emotions as they prep and get ready so if you're feeling that way, someone probably did too! On the flip side, I didn't have any concerns and I find that I underestimated how much of positive impact losing the weight would be. I had the surgery for my health and in my mind, my weight didn't hold me back - I traveled, I worked out, was "fit but fat" for years, right up until I wasn't, I got the jobs I wanted, I participated in the world around me and did everything I wanted to do and truly expected that the only outcome would be I'd be healthier (and be able to shop in normal sized stores).

I am much more active now than I ever thought I would be; travel is easier when you can walk up the airplane aisle without turning sideways (or at least I could back when we could travel); my energy level is higher; one of my IT guys told me that "you're lighter; I don't mean your size, but your personality" which was interesting feedback. It's sounds trite to say it was life changing, because obviously I knew it would be, but in so many different ways than I originally expected.

HW: 306 SW: 282 CW:144.8 GW: 145 (reached 2/6/19), next goal - 132.9


on 10/27/20 1:31 pm

Very interesting. I haven't traveled much but hope to do so in the future! Thank you for the info! I am not used to people complimenting me and I need to learn how to accept those.

Janet P.
on 10/24/20 4:08 am

I think that's why therapy is so important before/during/after surgery. Understanding the "why" of everything - why we overeat, why we aren't successful at dieting, why we ...

Did my hair fall out, yes it did but I used Nioxin and eventually it stopped falling out and started growing back again. Is my skin saggy, you betcha. I hide it with clothes but was also lucky enough to have a TT and breast lift. I still wear shorts, and bathing suits, and short sleeve shirts. I simply don't care what other people might think of my body because I'm damned proud of my body.

Personally I was never scared of anything related to my WLS. I was actually excited at the prospect of getting my health back and having a potential future, which I didn't see before my DS. I did my research, got involved in both in person support and online support, and simply took everything very seriously so that I would be successful at something I had never been successful at before - losing weight and keeping it off. I'm almost 18 years post-op and weigh exactly what my goal weight was 18 years ago.

Janet in Leesburg
DS 2/25/03
Hazem Elariny

on 10/27/20 1:28 pm

Thank you. I appreciate you responding. when did your hair start falling out and did it stop after you started using Nioxin? I am hoping things somewhat shrink when i lose weight. I know it won't be tight, but at least I know what to expect.

I think I am just making a bigger deal of it. Trying to get everything out in the open

Janet P.
on 10/29/20 5:03 am

My hair started falling out about month 3 and lasted about 6 months. You could see at the hairline fine hairs growing so I would say the Nioxin worked for me. I was also very fortunate to have had a very full head of hair so I never really noticed it except for when showering/washing my hair - stopped washing it every day and I still don't.

Janet in Leesburg
DS 2/25/03
Hazem Elariny

on 10/24/20 6:18 am
RNY on 06/03/15

I didn't lose that much hair, and it wasn't noticeable to anyone - and really not even to me. I did notice extra hairs in my comb when I combed it out after washing it, but looking at it in the mirror - no. I didn't notice it.

yes I had saggy skin - but it was very easy to hide in clothes. I eventually did get plastic surgery because it was starting to drive me nuts (for one thing, it slapped up against me when I exercised), but no one would have noticed that extra skin except for me - and I lost over 200 lbs.

dumping can be an issue with gastric bypass (and occasionally with sleeve patients, from what I understand - but it's not as common with sleeve), but not everyone dumps. The statistic that gets thrown around here is that about 30% of us dump. From what I've noticed after hanging around here for about six years, I don't really doubt that statistic as a lot of us don't dump. And if you're a "dumper", it can be controlled by avoiding or limiting sugar.

regarding the hair and skin thing - those seem to be major concerns for pre-ops and early post-ops. They were major concerns for me as well. But I think most of us who are a ways out would say that we wonder why we wasted brain cells worrying about it. In the grand scheme of things, they're pretty minor. I would take those any day over weighing almost 400 lbs again. ANY DAY!

This surgery has been more positive for me than I ever expected. I'd do it again in a heartbeat, and should have done it years ago.

White Dove
on 10/24/20 6:19 am

I worked for years as a risk manager. What I did for a large corporation is the same thing I did for weight loss surgery. Here are the steps to deal with any fear:

Identify the risk - Make a list of the thing that could go wrong. Start with worst risk - that you die. Then temporary hair loss, loose skin, dumping, and any other fear.

Analyze Risk Impact -

Are your will and funeral arrangements in place?
Will you need to wear compression garments?
Will you need a wig, skin creams, special shampoo?
Will you need to find substitutes for the sugary foods that cause dumping?
Will you need plastic surgery?

Plan and Communicate Your Responses

Who will take care of your family if you die?
What funds are available for plastic surgery?
How will you budget for things like Nioxin?
Who needs to know about and support your decisions? Husband, parents, children?
Can you give up eating sugar and find substitutes for cravings?

I went through all of this risk analysis and planning. I was prepared for whatever happened. After the surgery I felt great. There were some little incisions on my stomach that did not even need a bandaid. After a few days I was up and doing everything like normal. I just never got hungry again.

I did not die. My hair did get thin on top and I used Nioxin for about six months. I looked into a weave but did not do that.

I did a lot of weight lifting exercises and the skin on most of my body filled in with hard muscles. I did have a place on my stomach where loose skin hung and I did have a tummytuck. I did wear Spanx before the tummytuck. I used my savings to pay for the surgery.

I found plenty of substitutes for sugar. I can eat a small amount of sugar without dumping. I have eaten too much and dumped two or three times five years after having the RNY.

Anytime you have a fear, let yourself imagine the very worst thing that could happen and then make a plan to deal with that worst thing. Fear is normal and healthy. You just have to know how to manage it so that it does not keep you from doing the things you want to do.

Real life begins where your comfort zone ends

on 10/27/20 1:33 pm

You have a wonderful way of explaining things and I thank you for this. This puts a lot of my fears into perspective and allows me to navigate through those fears as rational or irrational.

on 10/24/20 7:02 am - Nashville, TN
Revision on 03/18/15
On October 23, 2020 at 6:10 PM Pacific Time, HaleyyGirl wrote:
This may sound like a stupid question, but has anyone ever been scared to lose the weight? I mean really WANTING to lose weight, but at the same time being scared of losing it, because your weight was what defined you (almost) all of your life? Although it was in a negative way. I'm scared of the skin, my hair falling out, dumping, just so many thoughts. I can't describe it better, but maybe some will understand

I couldn't wait to get on the table. Temporary hair loss, temporary sagging skin( that's what plastic surgery is for) dumping is not a problem for everyone and is only a problem if you eat inappropriately so you can control that, those things were nothing compared to the possibility of developing type II diabetes where my kidneys would burn out and dialysis be required, where my retinas in my eyes would burn out and I would be blind.

it was just a no brained for me. Therapy Is always a good thing too.