How to tell boyfriend about weight loss surgery

alignpower58
on 1/5/21 4:40 pm
RNY on 10/25/13

I had surgery in 2013 and went from a size 20 to a size 4.

I've been dating a guy for 3 1/2 months. He has noticed that I don't eat much and teasingly suggested I order off the kids' menu. He also has mentioned several people he knows that are overweight and recently he said something about WLS people not realizing they would have excess skin (I have excess skin). I think he's realized that I've had WLS, but I also think he's very biased against overweight people as well as those of us that have had surgery.

How do I tell him that I fit into the category of people he looks down on?????

Megan228
on 1/5/21 9:59 pm

Honestly, your bf doesn't sound very understanding or tolerant. And if you think he already knows you've had weight loss surgery, then it sounds like he's intentionally throwing these digs for some reason. I don't know the man, but there are usually two reasons people do this. 1) bc they want you to come out and be honest with them. 2) they're narcissistic jerks, who get off on being emotionally abusive (which this could very well be a start to).

And usually if it's bc of #1 they don't throw out rude jabs, just bring up the topic frequently. So, he sounds like a #2 and I'd run! Fast, you have to remember life is too short to deal with someone like that and you're worth more than to be treated that way!

hollykim
on 1/6/21 7:34 am - Nashville, TN
Revision on 03/18/15
On January 6, 2021 at 12:40 AM Pacific Time, alignpower58 wrote:

I had surgery in 2013 and went from a size 20 to a size 4.

I've been dating a guy for 3 1/2 months. He has noticed that I don't eat much and teasingly suggested I order off the kids' menu. He also has mentioned several people he knows that are overweight and recently he said something about WLS people not realizing they would have excess skin (I have excess skin). I think he's realized that I've had WLS, but I also think he's very biased against overweight people as well as those of us that have had surgery.

How do I tell him that I fit into the category of people he looks down on?????

I would gently tell him that his attitude offends me. I would gently tell him that I will no longer tolerate that kind of talk around me because I was one of the people he was talking poorly about. I would tell him that this surgery saved my LIFE and I would have it once a year if that is what it took.
I would tell him he can change his attitude or we would part ways. Boyfriends are a dime a dozen and there is bound to be a better person out there for you than him.

 


          

 

Mahalo F.
on 1/30/21 4:18 pm

Hello

What amazing advice so far!

CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR WEIGHTLOSS SUCCESS SO FAR!

Quite honestly.... I told only my family & best friends.

I had RNY 4 years ago & it was the best decision of my life. People often have the misconceived notion that it is the easy way out. It is the single most difficult thing that I have ever done in my life. Sacrifice, hard work & perseverance.

Life changing! Personally, I don't believe you have to tell him anything. None of his business. It does not affect his life. Based on what you have said. I would walk away from this guy! Most certainly doesn't sound like a nice guy!

Lots of fish in the sea. Time to let this one go!

Good luck!

Roux En Y - Jan. 4, 2017

HW 283 SW 260 CW 165

IN THE END WE ONLY REGRET CHANCES WE DIDN'T TAKE.

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