More weight obsessed after weight loss

on 4/14/21 12:09 am
RNY on 05/15/19

Hi everyone. I am 28 yr old and gastric bypass 2 years ago and have gone from 299lbs to 178lbs. I am able to see that I am smaller than before but I have become more and more obsessed with my weight and the fact that my BMI of 31 is still obese and can't help to feel like I failed this surgery. Prior to my weight loss, I dreamed of being under 200lbs but now that I am here I can't help but be so disappointed of how big I still am and it consumes my mind 24/7. Anyone else suffering from this issue? I thought this type of thing would get better after losing some weight.

Citizen Kim
on 4/14/21 5:31 am - Castle Rock, CO

Obviously you need to see a therapist, preferably one that deals with eating disorders.

I'm a bit weight obsessed, but not to the point where it consumes my thoughts or day to day life or I would seek therapy for sure.

Most of us long termers have been under the care of a therapist at one time or another.

Proud Feminist, Atheist, LGBT friend, and Democratic Socialist

on 4/14/21 7:48 am
RNY on 05/15/19

Thank you for the advice. I am super pro mental Heath and I've been going to therapy for years but my therapist suggests I see an eating disorder specialist. My problem is, I feel like I'm going to be out of place being at an eating disorder specialist as an obese person. I can't see any type of resolution anyone could provide and I just need to work harder to lose more weight then maybe I'll be happy.

Citizen Kim
on 4/14/21 12:44 pm - Castle Rock, CO

Eating disorders are not just for thin people. Most, if not all, morbidly obese people have eating disorders.

Proud Feminist, Atheist, LGBT friend, and Democratic Socialist

Janet P.
on 4/16/21 4:45 am

You should absolutely not feel out of place. Eating disorders cover so many things - especially post-WLS. A saying from years ago clearly applies here - they operate on your stomach not on your head. I think we've all been there at one level or another.

We have images in our head whether it be before surgery or after surgery. What we want to look like, feel like, etc. But in reality that may not be the case. That's when talking to a professional helps. Understanding the "why" and working on that aspect.

See if your therapist can recommend someone.

Janet in Leesburg
DS 2/25/03
Hazem Elariny

on 4/19/21 9:45 am

I agree, am in 3rd decade past surgery.. am under 200, and like you was a goal... any time anything consumes your mind, no matter your size you need professional help in that field.. stay on your diet.. it took my Mom 4 years to get to goal... with surgery. stress will stop weight loss , learn to relax. enjoy life, laugh.

on 4/14/21 5:47 am
RNY on 06/03/15

I'm kind of the same way. I've gained 10 lbs since the pandemic began and I'm now about four lbs overweight (give or take a couple of lbs due to fluctuation). I seem to obsess about this a lot. I'm constantly coming across photos from a couple of years ago thinking I looked so much better in them than I do now - but then I'll check my monthly weight log (which I've been keeping since I had surgery almost six years ago) and realize I was only five or ten lbs lighter than I am now - so I probably look about the same. Still, it's driving me nuts. I've considered a therapist as well - a lot of people on here have really benefited from that.

White Dove
on 4/14/21 8:10 am

You did not fail the surgery. The surgery did exactly what was expected. You lost more than 100 pounds. The first two years after surgery, it is easy to lose weight and to keep it off. By year three it is a lot harder.

You will find it very difficult to lose weight now without a major effort. That means tracking food and exercise, weighing daily, and having weight loss goals. Work with a therapist, make a plan, and find what you will need to do to continue on this journey.

Real life begins where your comfort zone ends

on 4/15/21 6:15 am

Losing more than 100 pounds is quite a success! CONGRATS! From all that I have learned, Body Dysmorphia is an issue for some of us who have had weight loss surgery. (And for those who have not!) Maybe a counselor who specializes in working with post-ops will be helpful?

on 4/17/21 10:04 am

A surgical procedure is nothing you can "fail" or "cheat".

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