Help my mother with doesn't support me have weight loss surgery

on 10/7/21 7:34 pm

Help my mother with doesn't support me have weight loss surgery, she keeps saying it is the easy way out or if I lose weight I will just gain all back, she does not understand weight over 700 pounds is very hard for me to live life.

on 10/8/21 4:12 am - Putnam, CT
Revision on 02/04/15

Is your mom your caretaker? If so maybe she thinks that if you lose weight and get healthy that she will no longer be needed in your life.

Have you showed her any pamphlets or videos about WLS? Does she understand that it is not the easy way out and that there is a ton of work that is required to be successful?

Dr. Sanchez Lapband 9/12/2003
hw305/revision w280/cw197/gw150

Revision from Lap Band to Bypass on 2/4/2015 by Dr. Pohl


on 10/8/21 7:35 am
RNY on 02/14/18
  1. It's not the easy way out and 2. So what if it's easy? Why would someone who cares about you prefer you do things the hard way?

Seriously though, it's no one's business but your own. If you and your medical team are aligned that is all that should drive your decisions. No one will will have to do the work, no one else (who hasn't been through it) will really understand, so if you're ready and willing to do it the work, have the program and the medical team, then it's really up to you.

HW: 306 SW: 282 GW: 145 (reached 2/6/19) CW:150


White Dove
on 10/8/21 10:29 am - Warren, OH

I took my mom to the surgeon's office. Let her meet some people who had had the surgery and ask them questions. It reassured her a lot.

Real life begins where your comfort zone ends

(deactivated member)
on 10/9/21 8:31 pm
RNY on 01/01/14

This is EXACTLY why I told no one in my family ( or friends) about my decision to have WLS .

if I Could have it would have been nice to have support... but guess what ... if you're even two hundred lbs and your family is not unconditionally behind your getting help .... they're messed up .... not you ... THEM.

yep it's hard doing it yourself but a LOT harder having to argue with a bunch of ignorant and uncaring idiots. (((()))) hugs

on 10/10/21 2:23 am
RNY on 10/07/21

I told my mother after i had been approved by my insurance to have the surgery. I told her what i was doing, why i was doing it, and that nothing she could say was going to change my mind. Im 36, it's my time and my money. I did ask her to be my caregiver for after the surgery and she agreed too. But i knew she was not fully on board. She has an old school mentality about what she feels is an "unnecessary" surgery. I told her i was tired of struggling with weight. I have been overweight since i was a child. I lost weight plenty of times but gained it back plus some. Enough was enough.

i also ended up asking a friends to be my backup caregiver if my mom changed her mind. So lean on some friends or a close relative to help you if you can.

on 10/19/21 5:58 am

I know that it's hard to go against anything that your parents say but it's very important to you to get the surgery to improve your quality of life. Once you lose weight you will have a new journey that you and your mother can take together. Your probably going to feel better and look amazing. Your out look on life will be different.I came off all of my medicine and I lost 130 . No more high blood pressure and diabetes is gone. I'm moving with ease.Explain to her that you can't continue with live a limited life. When you get up out of that bed and your able to do everything you want without limitations you are going to feel amazing. It's most definitely not the easy way out. There's nothing easy about it.

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