I woke up from surgery instantly regretting what i did.

on 6/1/13 11:52 am

I regret it, i wish i never did it... even though i jumped through every hoop to do it... i couldn't disappoint anyone... despite being obese i had no medical issues, no diabetes or heart issues. only problem was my back and every doctor told me my weight had no effect on why my back was bad..... I dislike being restricted.... I've cried multiple times everyday so far.. and teh worst part is I'm only 4 days out...

(deactivated member)
on 6/4/13 1:37 pm - TN
RNY on 07/21/08 with

Hello! I'm sorry to hear that you feel as though you've made the wrong decision. You are still new and perhaps the fact that this surgery may benefit you in the long run is not a realization for you yet.

You may ask yourself how in the world can this person tell me anything positive when they too are a regretful post-op patient themselves?! Well, I just feel as though some people need a nudge especially when there's a chance that later on down the road things may be different for them and life may be much better than expected. I am just the opposite. I had surgery on July 21, 2008 I was up walking that afternoon and dismissed the next morning. Life looked promising and I did not regret my decision in the least. Now approximately 5 years later the bright light that was once a blinding beacon has become very dim. I too have a post on this board and available for you to read. 

Unfortunately I was dying and I considered my mother because I'm an only daughter and she relies on me a lot. I had multiple co-morbidities, the most progressive was the fatty liver. I would have never known about it  had I not became ill enough to go to the E.R. 

I sincerely hope that your feelings change about your decision. I know of a couple of people that actually "manipulated" their way into surgery. One didn't qualify according to her insurance criteria so she paid cash and was only 30 pounds overweight, she chose the lap-band. The other was only 36 pounds overweight and took about 4 years to intentionally go up and down the scales before she finally had enough weight on her to meet her insurance company's criteria for RNY. When she first saw me she tried to say that I didn't recognize her I did and told her so and she proceeded to tell me..."I finally had it done." My reply was and????. She didn't educate herself or "jump through all the hoops" because she walked into it blinded and had to ask me questions about the dryness of her skin and hair and she complained about having limited food choices. I just told her that she should have learned about the possible side effects due to nutritional changes and imbalances because everyone is different and that was the end of that. 

I guess what I'm saying is that you were obese and made the decision to have this surgery and neither of these people really were actual candidates. They were more interested in the "high road for the sake of vanity" route than they were for the sake of their health. The issue of being restricted never has been a problem for me and I really do hope that you are able to make it through this period but most of all I hope I've helped you with something that I've said in an attempt to make you feel a little better about your choice. I have realized myself that had I not had my surgery there wouldn't have been a chance in the world that one of my illness had been diagnosed because it seems as though it may be that I was genetically predisposed to it as well as me being super morbidly obese.

A variety of different, tolerable protein drinks may help with some of the way you feel, if you don't already have a few different ones to choose from. 

Hope things get better and God Bless you

Carla J.


on 6/7/13 2:30 pm

I'm only 24, my only health issue was my bad back, but that had nothing to do with my weight according to every doctor, my blood pressure, liver, and heart were all in perfect working order. I was obese with none of the actual medical issues usually attached. I know i should look at it as me preventing them from ever happening, but it's had to see it that way when the only thing on my mind is the constant sick feeling in whats left pf my stomach to remind me i am perminently altered for life. I had to jump through hoops to get there, and i lied on the psych evalutaion. I was apprehensive from teh beginning, but the farther I went in the harder it was to say no, my mom was dead set on me getting it no matter what... i coudn't dissapoint her after she put more an more money into it... I was an emotional wreck before, now i'm worse, and suffering mood swings and suicidal thoughts... I really think  I made a bad decision to appease everyone else...

(deactivated member)
on 6/8/13 1:18 am - TN
RNY on 07/21/08 with

This REALLY is the time for you to seek help other than what any of your peers can give you because your situation seems to run much deeper than what it is. Perhaps you can find someone that deals with post-op bariatric patients. I am sorry for all you're dealing with but PLEASE seek help.

I hope that you find inner peace and the help that you so critically need right now.


God Bless,


on 6/18/13 5:20 am

How are you feeling today? I do hope you were able to go to a counselor because it sounds like you are dealing with depression caused by making a life altering decision. Similar to what many women go through after childbirth. The restrictions are much harder in the beginning and soon enough you will be able to eat almost normally. I know it doesn't seem that way now. You didn't put yourself first before surgery, but you need to collect yourself and do that now. I never regretted having the surgery, but one thing I can tell you is that I didn't realize what I was missing out on being heavy. I can go on an airplane without asking for a seatbelt extender. I can ride any rollercoaster I want to. I can run... me!!! the kid who couldn't make it around the gym and almost keep up with my boyfriend's 10 y.o. daughter. I can climb a flight of stairs without being winded. I didn't even realize that I couldn't do those things before. I hope were just having jitters and feel better now, but do seek help. You are not alone. Another place to talk to people who've had surgery is www.sparkpeople.com. There are online support groups there for gastric bypass patients.

on 7/6/13 6:35 am - Westborough, MA

Videoman23,  I am so sorry you are feeling so poorly.  I had my surgery 13 years ago.  It DOES get better.  Be HONEST no matter what w/your surgeon. That is the only way he can help you.  I had a very difficult post-op road to follow.  I did not do well at all w/the protein drinks, threw up constantly, etc.  I finally had to admit after 6 weeks of surgery that I needed help and was admitted to the hospital to get help w/eating/drinking enough to keep me alive!  I was in a very grave condition.  I even told my surgeon I wanted it reversed. The next day I told him I didn't want it reversed because I thought long and hard. I decided I went through extensive prep to get here, the surgery, etc, and I had to fight for my life on the other side of surgery.  This is what I desperately wanted. I needed to hang in there and TRUST my surgical team that they were there for me and would not let me down.  I had all of my cards out on the table with them.  The bottom line is, I am more than 165 pounds lighter 13 years later and have maintained it for all of these years. It is possible and you can do it.  Take one step at a time.  If you need to break it down to one minute at a time do that.  If you are in fear for your life, immediately call 911 or your MD and seek help.  I promise, it will get better.  I have been in your place and you will make it. Trust and have faith in yourself and your team.

on 7/22/13 1:59 am

I think what you're going through is normal.  I read that you're 24 and have no medical issues.  If you stayed on the track you were on, you were going to have issues.  I was 43 and had a heart attack.  I easily could've died, leaving behind 2 children and my husband.  Being over-weight damages your body!  Get through the next few months.  Your body is in shock and your mind is in shock.  Once everything settles down you'll feel better.

on 10/9/13 12:04 pm
I know how you feel. I am one week after surgery. I went through the same feelings. I didn't expect the pain after surgery. I am still not 100%. The reflux is terrible. I know once my stomach and esophagus heals it will be better.

Keep a daily journal. Write down your feelings.

You didn't become obese overnight. The solution won't happen overnight.

You have had major surgery! To take this step you had to be committed to a life style change. No, your life will never be the same. It will be better.
on 10/9/13 12:22 pm

I felt that way a few times in the past month (just hit 4 weeks out). I have been healthy overall my whole life, but my family history dictates that being obese will just create soooo many problems in the long run. I didn't want to be in my 50s wondering why I didn't do this sooner.

In the past few weeks I have thought many things.... why couldn't I have figured out how to do it on my own? It's just portion control, If I ate this little before I wouldn't have needed surgery, etc, etc, etc....

Hang in there - I know there's a light at the end of the tunnel. This website/forum proves that. Life goes so fast during the holidays that I am hoping to keep myself distracted enough to not think about how crappy I feel and how limited my food choices are right now.

on 12/3/13 2:17 am

i'm 12 days out and regret it so much.  i hate this pain and this dizziness and protein shakes and this emptiness.  this is miserable so i totally empathize.  have things gotten better for you?

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