Are you better at setting boundaries now?

Elizabeth brought up a good point in another post, about setting boundaries.    The ability to do that has been a very difficult issue for most of my life.    I used to let people walk all over me.   Since I've lost weight though, I've really toughened up in this regard.    I no longer let anyone - my children, my students, or the man trying to cut in front of me in line at the bank - do so.    I'm not sure if it's because I'm 1) Thin or 2) Old and cranky now.    What has your experience been in this area?

I'm Pre-Op and I can tell you that in the few months it has taken me to get to this point that I haven been standing up for myself more.  I'm soo excited to see how the future with my new (soon to be) DS changes that even more. 

Honestly I think that once you start this journey you learn you HAVE to start to stick up for yourself more.  Just dealing with doctors and insurance alone has given me thicker skin.  And then knowing that I am almost at my surgery date and I made it this far.  I did it!  I made it happen!  Thats empowering!  I haven't even had my surgery yet and I'm starting to let my voice be heard. Thinking about your weight loss, how fabulous you look and how far you've come, no crap you stand tall now!!  Embrace all that you are and all that you've done to get to this point!  Your amazing!

Yeah....you're getting it!   Shine on, sister!
 
I had an experience this past weekend that made me think about this, then Elizabeth sparked my thoughts even more.    I teach in a really rough school district in a very poor, rural part of Michigan.   I was helping out at our high school graduation, and a young man came in and starting talking to my choir in a very loud voice, inappropriately clapping his hands during the keynote speaker's speech and just making a general ass of himself.    I walked over to him (I was in my faculty academic gown) and explained to him that this was a dignified event, and asked him to quiet down.    I am 5'4 and 125 pounds on a good day.   He was about 6' and 190 pounds.    He said to  me "Shut up and sit down."   I said, "Pardon me???" and he said, "You heard what I said - I'm a grown man, I'm almost 20.  I make my own decisions.  Now shut the **** up and sit down."     I folded my arms across my chest, got right up in his grill (actually his chest area, LOL) and all 125 of me said,  "If you're a grown man, then act like one.  I am a teacher in this school and I  make the decisions here.   Now stop it right now or I will have you escorted out by the police."   He would not make eye contact with me.   I stood there, face to face, two inches from him, and outwaited him.   I stood that way for about three minutes and wouldn't budge.   He finally swore under his breath, turned and walked out.    I was shaking inside.   This kid could have flattened me, or worse.     But I stood up to him.    I went and informed two male teachers what he'd done - they knew who he was - and said they'd not allow him to re-enter.   My husband gave me some **** about it when I got home, but I've had to do that at my school before, and I'm not afraid of these kids.     I would have NEVER EVER done that as an obese person.   NEVER!

You are one bad ass!

I am meaner than nails - and you know what?  The kids love and respect me for it.  It's kind of odd that way.    I guess I'm mean in a tough love kind of way and they seem to respond.   My DH says though that on of these days I'm going to do that to some stranger on the street and get myself whupped.

 Just goes to show you everyone needs boundaries, and sounds like you give those kids what they are craving!

I don't think I'd of ever done that as an obese person either. WOW! You have some guts woman! That's an awesome story. I'm glad you put that little douche in HIS SEAT!

You go Julie!!!!  Good for you.

You FREAKIN rock, Julie!!!  I love it.

WOW Julie!! Rock on with your bad self!!

I am so all about boundaries now. Everyone has noticed it. I stick up for me and what I believe in. An earlier post said just getting to the point of actually GETTING the DS is a fight. It took me 2 long years to get the DS and during those 2 years I became a totally different person. A person I LOVE! Life is great. I love my family, I love my friends and I freakin LOVE my DS!!!!


Ruby