Morbid much??

My surgery isn't for almost another month yet tonight I got the overwhelming urge to write letters to my loved ones on the off-chance I don't wake up after surgery.  I wrote letters to all my family and closest friends that all start out "If you're reading this then something went wrong and I didn't make it."  HOW MESSED UP IS THAT?!?  I feel a little embarrassed about it, but I just felt it was a way to make sure things are taken care of ....just in case.

Has anyone else done this, or thought about doing this?  I don't have a legal will written, so I guess maybe this replaces that security, but geeze,  I feel a bit morbid.

Perhaps I'll go shred these now and spend some time on positive thoughts!

Nothing wrong with doing that. This journey is a wild ride and we all process the emotions in our own way. I wrote in a diary the night before so my family would know how much pain I was in and how isolated I felt, etc...just in case. Handle these emotions your way. 

--gina 

Not morbid at all...after all it is major surgery and while the odds are much against something happening, not making it thru can happen even with simple surgeries or we wouldn't have to sign releases at the hospital stating we know it can happen. But you are gonna want to throw them away as soon as you get home, LOL.

Liz

I have a toddler, and im a single mom, and before my surgery I had to write my will. (I should have done it before, anyhow, but I hadn't). It definitely felt weird. I meant to do a letter to my daughter too, but I ended up not doing it due to time crunch before surgery. It does seem morbid at the time, but it will give you a sense of peace going in. The more prepared you are for something bad to happen, the less likely it will?? Get prepared to shed some tears while writing!
Karen

I didn't write letters, but I went and had my will drawn up and made sure that someone would take care of my 2 dogs if something happened. I think it just shows that in the remote chance something happens that you don't leave things hanging or leave things unsaid. There is nothing wrong with that!!

 I did the same thing.  My kids were grown, but I wanted to tell my family what to do with everything-from life insurance to my car to 401k's and financial account information.

I wrote the letter to my sister, addressed it, stamped it and gave it to my ex-husband, who's house I was staying at (talk about messed up! lol) and told him if something FINAL happend, to mail it.  It was hard to write-and I asked her to understand why it was important for me to take this chance.  I wasn't living anyway.

Best of luck!  

I haven't had surgery yet but I too want to write some letters before I go into surgery.  I think about it every day when I look at my two daughters ages 6 and 16 MONTHS.  I keep thinking, is this worth it? What if something happens to me? Will they hate me forever for taking this risk? But I'll write the letters and tell them why I'm making this decision.  And I believe it's the right decision.

You're not being morbid--just caring.

 Sheri

Do you have a will that takes care of stuff like guardianship? Even if their father is still in the picture, I strongly recommend stipulating what you want done if for some reason he might NOT be in the picture.

Perfectly normal. I wrote letters, also! Matter of fact, I'm 9 months post op and they're still in my saftey deposit box at the bank,lol! My family didn't even know I'd written them, only a couple DS friends! Made me feel loads better. You should do whatever you feel necessary. I, for one, need to go to the bank,lol!


Ruby

Not messed up at all. However, if you don't have a will, GET ONE DONE NOW. Everyone needs a will. You'll be doing your family a BIG favor, even if you believe you have nothing of value to organize after your passing.

Also, make up some kind of legal document stipulating who is to make decisions about your care if you are temporilary or permanently incapacitated. My legal folks recommended the durable medical power of attorney. That way nobody is legally bound to, oh, I dunno, a DNR order or something you thought was a good idea at some point when resuscitation would be a viable medical option, KWIM?

What I did was I had long, long conversations with the people named as my POA's (yes, I am so fanatical about not wanting some stranger somewhere to decide how or if I live or die that I named several POAs) to let them know what my personal parameters were about long term medical decisions, put it all in a nice long essay as well, and then just named them as decision makers in the legal document. That gave the greatest flexibility for decisions while still making sure those folks knew how I felt about certain things.

I wrote last letters to a lot of people. I also wrote my funeral, right down to the song choices and sermon texts and stipulated what to do with my remains.

This all went a long way toward easing my anxieties. (Drove poor Mr. EN half nuts, cuz he wanted to stay nicely in denial about these possibilities. But I knew that if it came to that, he would need some real specific details upon which to rely.)