Being Outgoing and Weightloss

My weight loss journey has been a wonderful experience. It does tend to still mess with my head, even though I am almost 4 years out. Before surgery I was really outgoing and had a lot of friends, after weight loss surgery I tend to be more withdrawn and like spending time with myself more. I guess I feel more “safe” in my house then I do out there in the world. I also still struggle with binge eating and some days are worse than others. It is like being an alcoholic… you have to take it day by day and some times you are on top of the world and other times, the carb monster gets you and you are back in the trenches. So, this surgery does not fix what is wrong with you, it makes it easier for you to see the problem because you can no longer ignore it, but I still struggle everyday and have to make the decision to eat right and do what I need to do. My fiancé of 11 years also had weight loss surgery, but where he used to be quiet and withdrawn with few friends, now he is the life of the party and has tons of friends. His weight loss has allowed him to “let people in” where my weight loss tends to “keep people out.” I wonder why that is….

It may not be your weight loss causing these changes.  There may be other factors...hormones, aging, depression.  When was your last physical?  How are you sleeping?

Do you see a pattern with binge eating?  Do you binge when you're stressed or bored?  Are you getting enough protein?  When I want to eat carbs, I drink a protein shake and the 'cravings' (whether physical or emotional) seem to go away.

Thank you so much for your insight, NYer! You may be right about there being other factors involved. I recently had a check-up and everything was great other than low zinc and vitamin D. Last time I felt depressed, it was discovered I had thyroid issues. Maybe I should make an appointment with my endo to get my synthyriod tweaked. Part of me wonders if I was more outgoing when I was bigger because I felt I "had" to be for people to like me. I must admit that it is sometimes uncomfortable the male attention and for some reason, women treat me as a threat now and don't make female friends as easy because of that. There is definitely a pattern with my binge eating. I do tend to binge when I am stressed or bored. If I commit to doing yoga I tend to not binge as much, but with the holidays I kinda put yoga on the back burner. Need to get back into that. I always make sure to get my protein requirements, but that is a wonderful idea about drinking a shake when I get those binge-y cravings. I am going to try that and see if it helps. Thank you!  :)

Thanks for posting.  This is interesting.  I look forward to other's contributions.

I've always been quiet in a crowd, and hate mingling.  I've been wondering if the weight loss will bring out a different side of me also.

Being small for the first time in my life really does make you look at the world a little different. It is a great experience because you will learn so much about yourself. :)

Interesting.  Seems that people often ignore obese people. Won't look them in the eye, for example.  Many WLS people have observed that strangers begin to notice them and treat them more and more like "real" people as they get thinner. After years of imposed anonymity some people find that being "seen" all the time makes them uncomfortable.  Some women have expressed their unfamiliarity and/or discomfort with being noticed as a sexual being. If you are afraid to go out of the house please go see someone about it. 

Thank you for your insight Puppysweets1! You are so right... you go from not being noticed unless you "do" something...to being noticed all the time. Men tend to treat me better now that I am smaller.  For example, they hold doors open more. I think what is most disturbing is that I always made friends with other women very quickly, but since the weight loss, women now treat me like competition and are not as friendly. I always feel like I have to watch my back around other women and I didn't feel that way before the weight loss. I'm not afraid to go out of the house, just have no desire to. Don't know if it is depression or aging, but I really enjoy the "boring" life. ;)

Very interesting, and your experiences are the same as mine.    I am talkative and friendly, but not outgoing, if that makes any sense.    I definitely feel more confident in myself, especially in regard to taking more risks professionally.   However, like you, I do not feel comfortable around many females.    I've found that women my age (50-ish) might even be MORE snarky with a thin peer than younger women, because less and less of them are thin at that age.   I can't begin to tell you how many "skinny *****" looks I get from other women now.    Men rush to help me out all the time now.   

I'm a lot more comfortable in my own skin, and don't mind being by myself at all.    Not sure if it's age, or my smaller size though!

I do remember being noticed all the time when I was in my early 20s.  And me getting very jaded when men constantly pinged...  I had forgotten how uncomfortable that was to me - maybe it was part of the reason I over ate.  I could see some down time from this new scrutiny would be welcomed.

Thanks again for posting about this.  Interesting insights on something I would not have thought of.