I failed my sleeve and want to get back on track

on 2/20/19 6:47 pm - Hawthorne, CA

Hello All,

I was an active member almost 12 years going and thought I "knew it all". Originally with a band revised to a sleeve in 2011 and then I lost my insurance. Stupidly thinking that I could do it on my own based on my successful previous weight losses I didn't really stick to the sleeve protocol. Fast forward to today, almost 7.5 years later and I am 25 lbs heavier than my surgery weight and older to boot.

I am hoping to find other people in the same predicament like me. I am not blaming the surgery itself since in all honesty, I failed it. I failed it by my pride and perhaps even fear. Fear of change, even though I wanted that change enough to put myself through 3 surgeries total. I am no longer a spring chicken. My body isn't breaking down as of yet but if I don't get ahold of this train now it won't be long until it is short downhill slide into big trouble.

What I am looking for is community, brutal honest dialogue and maybe even make some real friends.

The first step I am taking is going to my support meetings at Kaiser. Although there are those that love to monopolize the meetings with their experiences, opinions and desire to run those meetings. I will fight my urge to walk away for good because that meeting is meant for me too and it is up to me (and you) to take part and soak up information.

Thanks for letting me vent! Onward & Upward!



Valerie C.
on 2/22/19 5:08 pm - Portland, OR
I'm in a similar situation to you. I had RNY in 2009. I lost weight really fast and then it stopped. Over the last 9 years I've gained every pound of my surgery date weight back. I was 365 the day of surgery and I'm 372.8 this morning.

I don't eat a lot at a time, more than I personally for my metabolism should clearly, but not more than an average size person.

My issue is I just don't stay full. I'm hungry in an hour or 2 like I never ate.

Today is day 2 of low carb for me. I've tried so many different ways of eating, vegan, WW, etc. Low carb seems to be the only thing my body responds to.

I'm tired of feeling like a big fat loser. A failure. I'm a smart woman. I'm a strong woman. But I consistently fail at WL.

I was talking with a friend yesterday and realized that even at my lowest weight after surgery I was still morbidly obese. Sad.

Sorry to rant, and I'm not trying to hijack your post. I just wanted you to know that you are not alone. We are all out here.

on 2/22/19 6:34 pm - Hawthorne, CA

Thank you Valerie for replying.

You are not hijacking my post at all.

I was not successful with my surgery, I believe I lost at most 12 pounds and I did not overeat to stretch mine out. I did not use my tool to the best of it's ability but I realize now that I willfully denied the rules but also probably chose the wrong tool. I eat slider foods, I always have and shamefully I will always have to deal with my food preference for the rest of my life.

I believe my failures have been more than "just" failure to apply to the rules. I believe us obese people deal with a lot more than just food issues, I believe a lot of us use food as a coping mechanism. The weight gains are just the outward sign of what is going on inside.

I changed insurance from surgery and have just called my old case manager at KP for an updated or duplicate copy of the "rules" and suggestions to get back on track. I am going to attend a support meeting next Tuesday after 5 years from the last one. I thought that just isolating myself as I turned myself magically into a radiant butterfly would be enough for me to put it (my life) all together and start living an authentic passionate life as I dreamed.

It isn't.

I now know that I need a community. I need real friends and comrades on this journey. I have so many years to realize now that this is a lifetime issue that I will have to live with, but I don't want to make this my life. Can you understand me?

Early last month I went to get my bodyfat scanned and metabolism tested and was shocked, not so much as my bodyfat percentage but at the metabolism measurement. The person giving me my results said that I had an incredibly low metabolism and contradicted what I was told by my surgeon and group some 7 years ago.

Anyway, my base metabolism came back at 1320 calories a day to simple maintain my current weight (253) in a comatose level. With basic movements (walking to bathroom, making meals, taking out trash, etc) that I should add 400 more calories to the 1320. I absolutely should not go lower than 1700 per day in order to maintain what metabolism I have.

I tried that since January 3rd and I have maintained my weight but have not lost weight. I walk around as a shopper for a grocery store (8-10K steps/shift) on tile floors and have injured my heel pretty badly. So I am going to go back to what my surgeon's group suggested (when I find them or get an updated version) and just try to rewire my mind and will.

Sorry for my long rambling reply - just a little background on me and my situation.

What are your plans, what is your history, what are the reasons why you are here with me? How can we help each other and hopefully others? I don't know girl....talk to me!


on 2/25/19 10:33 am, edited 2/25/19 2:34 am - GA
VSG on 05/01/14


I had VSG almost five years ago and had gained back 50 pounds of the 95 that I had lost. I was devasted and felt like a total and complete failure. I too have tried nearly every kind of diet and eating plan on earth and I always seem to fail. Like the previous poster, low carb eating seems to be what my body responds to the most so that's what I've been doing for the past two weeks and have started to see results.

I never reached my goal weight, I was only about half-way there. If I'm honest with myself, I never really adopted the sleeve way of eating. I never really cut the carbs and bad habits. I still basically ate the same, just less of it and since the weight was falling off I thought I had been "cured". Well once the honeymoon period was over I quickly learned otherwise.

I will say that I am more motivated today than I have been in the last 2 years. I've made a lot of positive changes most of which had nothing to do with diet. I had to deal with the issues in my head and in my heart. Once I started dealing with that and healing from the inside I was able to make the positive changes in my diet as well.

I used to document my journey on youtube right after surgery, but stopped when the weight loss stopped. I've recently relaunched that channel and it's the best thing I could have done. It inspires me to stay on track and keeps me accountable. Losing regain is not easy, but it is doable.

Sorry for the long post, just wanted to let you know that you are not alone and there is hope.

   youtube channel- silkiilocks


on 2/26/19 11:38 pm - Hawthorne, CA

Hey There,

The more people that reply the better. I have a strong feeling that we are not alone and that there are a lot more of us than we think. I am glad that you were honest with not adopting the sleeve rules, as of course, I did not myself. I love simple carbs but like you two, low carb living does take it off for me too. I feel better when I go low carb, I can sustain for a while but then when the stress, boredom or whatever hits, the thing that brings me pleasure or diversion are sweets.

I never lost my weight, not even close and with being so far out from surgery a lot of people say I will never make it and should revise to a bypass. Nope, that is not for me. I have seen my sister not take care of herself and with bypass it is imperative to keep on the rules. I do not want to take that sort of a chance.

I am going to start over tomorrow, with the liquid post op stage. I have to find my old Options binder so I can go back and read the rules, write up my daily plan and start to get real.

I am so glad that you have restarted you YouTube channel, I love watching those vsg and subscribe to a few of them. How do you handle the negative comments? Overall, do you find people asking you for advice on how to cheat or even permission to not adhere to the rules? Have you been hit with know it all posters that insist that their way is more healthy or safe? You are very brave and smart to post your story online. I was seriously thinking of starting that as well.

We can do it, maybe even be completely successful because we are coming from experience. We know our triggers, excuses and know not to freak out over new experiences.

Let's all keep in touch and add to the group.


on 2/27/19 2:33 am - GA
VSG on 05/01/14

Hi! I really appreciate your honestly as well and it made me feel for comfortable to share my story. I honestly don't get very many negative comments on the channel, but that could be because I don't have very many subscribers. The overwhelming majority of people have been supportive and encouraging with their comments.

   youtube channel- silkiilocks


Gwen M.
on 2/27/19 8:14 am
VSG on 03/13/14

As for never making your goal weight? Bah. There's this myth that if you'll lose all the weight you'll ever lose in the first year post-op and if you don't reach your goal you're doomed forever. It's a myth. Chances are your restriction is still 100% intact and you still have a fully functional tool in your sleeve. It's "just" a matter of rewiring your brain at this point, which would be necessary with any WLS for lifelong success.

VSG with Dr. Salameh - 3/13/2014
Diagnosed with Binge Eating Disorder and started Vyvanse - 7/22/2016
Reconstructive Surgeries with Dr. Michaels - 6/5/2017 (LBL & brachioplasty), 8/14/2017 (UBL & mastopexy), 11/6/2017 (medial leg lift)

Age 42 Height 5'4" HW 319 (1/3/2014) SW 293 (3/13/2014) CW 149 (7/16/2017)
Next Goal 145 - normal BMI | Total Weight Lost 170

TrendWeight | Food Blog (sort of functional) | Journal (down for maintenance)

Gwen M.
on 2/27/19 8:11 am
VSG on 03/13/14

Hi there. Kudos to you for coming back and starting the process of getting to the life you want. It's hard to admit to ourselves when we're doing something wrong or when we need help! Support groups are definitely a good step. Have you considered seeing a therapist as well? Surgery only operates on our stomachs and our stomachs weren't the thing that made us obese. :/

If you aren't already, start measuring and tracking everything you put into your mouth using something like MyFitnessPal. From there, work on getting back to your basics. Here are mine, yours might be slightly different.

1. Prioritize protein and water
2. Deprioritize carbs, especially the refined and processed ones
3. Make the most of healthy fats
4. Eat three meals a day with no snacks
5. Avoid liquid calories (protein shake for breakfast is my exception since I've never liked putting solid food in my stomach first thing in the morning)
a. Don't drink with meals or for 30 minutes after eating
6. Weigh portions and track/log what you consume
7. Eat mindfully and with no distractions aside from real live people
a. Try to eat at a table
b. Eat with utensils
8. Move as much as possible
9. Weigh yourself daily
a. But focus on the trend of your weight, not the day to day fluctuations
10. Be kind to yourself
a. Take your vitamins every day
b. Track your own lab results - you're your own best advocate
c. Get a yearly DEXA scan to be sure your bones are healthy

You can do it!

VSG with Dr. Salameh - 3/13/2014
Diagnosed with Binge Eating Disorder and started Vyvanse - 7/22/2016
Reconstructive Surgeries with Dr. Michaels - 6/5/2017 (LBL & brachioplasty), 8/14/2017 (UBL & mastopexy), 11/6/2017 (medial leg lift)

Age 42 Height 5'4" HW 319 (1/3/2014) SW 293 (3/13/2014) CW 149 (7/16/2017)
Next Goal 145 - normal BMI | Total Weight Lost 170

TrendWeight | Food Blog (sort of functional) | Journal (down for maintenance)

Kathy S.
on 2/27/19 9:56 am - InTheBurbs, XX
RNY on 08/29/04 with

Hi Spiritus

You have already taken the hardest step by saying enough is enough and now I want to get back on track. After over 10 years of staying at goal 120-125, due to a personal tragedy I gained and hit the 190 mark in 2016. After several starts it finally clicked and I am back to goal losing 70 pounds of regain. Here are some steps that helped me and I hope they will help you too! You may have several starts and stops but don't give up, don't beat yourself up. IT WILL CLICK!!! Our tool works if we work the tool and get back to the basics.


Remember when we were preparing for surgery? How many meetings, classes and such did we attend? We were told the more prepared we were the better our chances were for success. And they were right. Go through the house, car and work place and get rid of trigger foods. Stock up on foods that will keep you on track. I removed every bad carb/sugar temptation and replaced it with lots of protein, veggies, grains and fruits.


Get back to journaling. This will help you identify when you feel like eating, stress factors and any triggers in your life. Once you identify these factors, this will help you put tools in place to keep you from eating. It became clear I was not taking time for me anymore. I worked my day job and then spent the rest of my time caring for my husband. It was easy to reach for fast, prepackaged food. Since I purged my home I have to eat clean as there are no other options LOL

Use a tool to track you're eating and exercise like Getting Started with Health Tracker. Once I started to track ever bite and drink it became clear why I had gained.


Make a list of goals for yourself. Make them realistic and small. Some of mine were move more, purge all junk from my home, eat more protein. If you didn't make a Weight Loss Surgery bucket list when you first had surgery do it now. GREAT reminder of all the things you can enjoy in life after losing weight.


In general, a long term post-weight loss surgery eating plan includes foods that are high in protein, and low in fat?, calories, and sugar. Important, vitamins and minerals are provided as supplements. (if you had a different surgery adjust this to your food plan).


Water is our Best Friend. I have to say I never went back to pop or any bad drinks, however I was drinking tea like crazy. What is wrong with drinking tea? I was either using sugar or 3 equals and 3 sweet n lows per 32 ounce glass. I found once I started carrying one of the metal bottles of water to keep it cold I drank water all day.


I can't say enough about how key this was for me. The reason I kept my weight off for almost 10 years was no matter what, I kept moving. If I could not go to the gym I would walk. Grab a cart and walk all the isles at your local box store. I loved Zumba, bootcamp workouts, lifting weights. When I stopped, the weight started coming back. So for me I am starting slow to avoid injury by walking and using some of the workouts on my Demand TV. Find something you love to do and it won't feel like a pain in the *** to do daily.


If it's an option "run" don't walk to a support group. Come here on OH daily for support and participate in one of the food threads. It helps you be accountable and also great ideas for food prep.

Keep me posted on how you are doing.

HW:330 - GW:150 - MW:118-125

RW:190 - CW:130

on 3/20/19 6:42 pm

I wish you luck. You got this. Protein first. Keep hydrated. Get moving. Sending warm wishes your way.

RNY Oct. 27/17. HW 289; SW 285; GW 144; LW: 161 CW: 171 FML