No support from family or friends - feeling very...

Christina70445
on 6/30/13 3:31 pm - Lacombe , LA

I just scheduled my seminar/information meeting. I havent even begun this process yet and already....????

My fiance mind you has said from day one that he will support me no matter what I choose to do. He Is worried about complications and me being ok post op, but other than that he knows how miserable I am.

My aunt on the other hand who has always been more like a mom to me was the only other person in the world I was okay with discussing the possibility with. When I spoke to her yesterday she said there were "other ways to do this" and "its and irreversible thing" or "if you are supposed to loose 'x' lbs pre-op why not just follow the same plan longer and not have surgery". I felt very pissed off but mostly hurt. Dont people realize that this isnt an "easy" decision to come to? I had already made up my mind not to advertise the surgery to other people. Not because Im ashamed or whatever, but because it's MY struggle and MY decision. I dont want the negativity of whatever their opinions may or may not be. Thats their opinion. I am concerned about the treatment of my family and friends post op. When im really having a bad day and in recovery I dont want to hear things like see...i told you so. why cant people just say thats awesome, i love you and im glad you made a decision to be here healthier and longer with me. is that too much to ask?

kitkat88
on 7/1/13 8:14 am - Metairie, LA
RNY on 11/18/13

I understand. I was telling my friends and family that I am starting this. One friend who is smaller then me but she is shaped bigger said its cheating. I explained to her that I was tired of being "Fat" and not healthy enough to run after my 3 year old. Told her " do you want to stay like  this the rest of your life" NO okay so why not get help NOW before we are too old. My grandma had a friend who did it and told me I will NEVER be able to keep up with the diet. WELL AIN'T THAT NICE...

Christina70445
on 7/1/13 8:48 am - Lacombe , LA

Yeah I don't understand it for te life of me. 

Christina70445
on 7/1/13 2:36 pm - Lacombe , LA
Kat, please add me on fb. This server is too slow for my patience right now. [email protected]
Send me a pm so we can talk.
CJ S.
on 8/25/13 11:53 pm
VSG on 01/09/14

I'm so sorry you're not receiving the support you need during this most important, life changing event. I've only told my husband, best friend (who is five years out) and my sister (two years out). My best friend told me if she had it to do all over again, she wouldn't tell anyone what she's doing.

You made this decision for you - no one else. It's a lot of damn hard work and you don't need to hear the bs from ANYONE - much less your family. I believe it's time to take our lives back and be everything we want to be. Will this be easy? No. Will it suck at times? Hell yes. Will it be worth it? Every second of our much longer lives!

CJ Smith

“To all the girls that think you’re fat because you’re not a size zero, you’re the beautiful one, its society who’s ugly.”
Marilyn Monroe

        
Christina70445
on 8/26/13 12:11 pm - Lacombe , LA

The process for me will take 6 months minimum. I'm still at the point where it seems too good to be true. With KatBarretts help I've joined several secret groups on Facebook which has helped a lot. 

CJ S.
on 8/28/13 1:59 am
VSG on 01/09/14

That's awesome! I'm so happy you're doing whatever you need to take care of you! Keep us posted on your success(es)

CJ Smith

“To all the girls that think you’re fat because you’re not a size zero, you’re the beautiful one, its society who’s ugly.”
Marilyn Monroe

        
(deactivated member)
on 8/26/13 1:11 pm - CA
RNY on 03/22/12

Well, I understand why you would want to share this life changing information with your aunt who, by your description, is like a mother to you. But, in the future, share it with as few peeps as possible. I can tell you by my experience, even the most supportive relatives and friends that knew ahead of time,...WANTED, SEARCHED for reasons to tell me it wasn't a good idea. In the meanwhile, be secure in your decision to go forth with the seminar. Statistics/research show that "dieting" does not work in the long term. So, when your aunt said, "there are other ways to do this", it begs the question, "what are they?"

P.S. it's awesome, your decision to change your life, your health, your future. I think you are brave. I just know you will be happy, you will be AMAZED! And, hugs to your fiancé for supporting you. 

(deactivated member)
on 1/2/14 7:50 am - Worcester, MA
VSG on 02/25/13

I completely understand where your coming from. I didn't tell anyone in my family. Only my husband knows. They are so against weight loss surgery so I didn't want to hear it. They told me years ago they wouldn't support it. Well I didn't need their support. I did the surgery back in Feb 13. I am down 107 lbs. They've asked what I was doing and I told them well, I went to see a nutritionist. That was true not a lie. I told them I eat protein first, that was true. So now they are like WOW you look great blah blah blah. But if they ever knew they;d be pissed but this is my life my body, no one but you understands what it's like to be you. 
So good luck, and if you do tell people they will turn you down. That's why I kept it to myself and I am very happy! 

Lossit2014
on 3/16/14 6:13 am

I am also having a very hard time finding support. I'm looking for friends in my new adventure of weight loss...been to 2 nutrition classes and just saw surgen..

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