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I'm a Single mom's have weight loss surgery how can I explaine to my children have surgery to help me I have 3 kids, Kandi who is 15 my oldest ,Carl who is 8 , and Lilly who 4 and they are my word
Hi. First, I understand that message boards like this aren't meant to replace consulting with a medical professional. I'm really just wanting information and advice from others who may be or who may have been in my situation.
When I first met my wife she was over 500 pounds, possibly much more, and while there were health issues she was actually quite mobile, able to walk, drive and could perform typical daily living activities. She went through gastric bypass in 2005, lost a good deal of weight and prior to Covid was less than 300 pounds. Over time she gained some weight back, some of which was partially due to poor eating choices but now there are several medical issues coming at her all at once and I'm honestly feeling scared and overwhelmed and I barely know where to start.
First, she now has severe pain in her hips and in her back and mobility is more challenging for her. It is so bad that I often need to help her into bed by lifting one of her legs and pulling on her hand to help her out of bed. If she lays in one position for a while her body stiffens up and then moving causes her pain. Getting up and moving around eventually reduces the pain but walking too much can cause pain in her ankles. To add to this there was fluid buildup in her legs. Diuretics helped with this but they would sometimes cause incredibly painful leg cramps. The latest issue is that her breathing seems labor. I convinced her to go to the ER and a chest XRay showed a possible diaphragmatic rupture in one of her lungs which, as it turns out, is caused by a pinched nerve which, if I correctly am remembering what the doctor said, may have caused a partial collapse in that lung. She is now on 4 liters of oxygen which does give her some relief but I can't believe there is nothing that can be done to correct this to give her some additional relief for getting a deep breath. She is around 400 pounds. She is seeing doctors and is going to be seeing a pulmonologist but I'm just wondering if anyone reading this has experienced this or has been supporting someone with similar issues and what else can be pursued to assist her. Many thanks. Hi. First, I understand that message boards like this aren't meant to replace consulting with a medical professional. I'm really just wanting information and advice from others who may be or who may have been in my situation.
When I first met my wife she was over 500 pounds, possibly much more, and while there were health issues she was actually quite mobile, able to walk, drive and could perform typical daily living activities. She went through gastric bypass in 2005, lost a good deal of weight and prior to Covid was less than 300 pounds. Over time she gained some weight back, some of which was partially due to poor eating choices but now there are several medical issues coming at her all at once and I'm honestly feeling scared and overwhelmed and I barely know where to start.
First, she now has severe pain in her hips and in her back and mobility is more challenging for her. It is so bad that I often need to help her into bed by lifting one of her legs and pulling on her hand to help her out of bed. If she lays in one position for a while her body stiffens up and then moving causes her pain. Getting up and moving around eventually reduces the pain but walking too much can cause pain in her ankles. To add to this there was fluid buildup in her legs. Diuretics helped with this but they would sometimes cause incredibly painful leg cramps. The latest issue is that her breathing seems labor. I convinced her to go to the ER and a chest XRay showed a possible diaphragmatic rupture in one of her lungs which, as it turns out, is caused by a pinched nerve which, if I correctly am remembering what the doctor said, may have caused a partial collapse in that lung. She is now on 4 liters of oxygen which does give her some relief but I can't believe there is nothing that can be done to correct this to give her some additional relief for getting a deep breath. She is around 400 pounds. She is seeing doctors and is going to be seeing a pulmonologist but I'm just wondering if anyone reading this has experienced this or has been supporting someone with similar issues and what else can be pursued to assist her. Many thanks.
A little bit of context, my girlfriend had her operation 1 year ago, and went from 260 pounds to 125 pounds. She is steady at this weight for some time now (~3 months) and her recent bloodwork and all that seems fine. I met her 7 month ago, and have been living together for about 6 months.
But...as the title suggests, I told on my girlfriends to her Nutritionist while she was in a remote call with him. She was talking about her diet, and she was lying through her teeth that she only eats healthy. I was looking at her and couldn't believe it. She knows and admits that she was lying. I know for a fact that she eats candy every day which makes up to about 60-70 grams of sugar daily at least + sodas with sugar in them.
Now, the thing is, while she was in the call, I couldn't help myself and said outloud so that the Nutritionist can hear me something along the line of "tell him about the sodas and real candy quantity that you eat every day and why you do it". The Nutritionist overheard me, and asked for more clarification. Naturally, my girlfriend confessed but the Nutritionist was disappointed to learn that my she was lying and tried to provide support on this.
After her call ended, we had a big fight and she said that I should not intervene in such matters and that I put her against the wall in front of her Nutritionist.(a bit dramatic, I know). he continued saying that it's none of my business and whatever she does with her life. But, obviously, she is not in control about her eating habit, and lying about it.
I studied psychology and worked with people all my life. I feel that I did the correct thing, since I do not feel that she can be true to her self and to her Nutritionist. As long as she provides false data about her eating habits, and the bloodwork and weight "feels" and "looks" right she will continue to abuse sugar (because it makes her feel good****il it's too late and starts gaining back weight and other complications. Moreover, she receives positive feedback when cheating. This won't stop, and I am afraid that if I would not intervene such things could go unnoticed by the proper authority (Nutritionist and Doctors).
My questions are the following:
- Did I go about this correctly by telling on her to her Nutritionist? Is this something I should not get myself involved in even if I can clearly see that she is not controlling herself?
- I know that she will resent me if do not stop doing this (telling on her) and stop trying to tell her not to eat sugar in an abusive way. I love her and I don't want us to brake up, but at the same time I don't want her to go back to where she was mentally and physically.
She is also doing therapy right now (not for this situation but this will be addressed as well) and is constantly changing and growing. There are a lot of variables here.
Any advice?
Have you had any such experiences and what is your take on it?
Thank you...
Hi Zoe,
Your mom's weight loss surgeon will most likely have support groups in which the family is welcome to attend with the patient.
That would be one way to support your mom and you will learn of ways to help motivate and encourage her too.
You could also maybe help your mom to use a Fit Bit if she doesn't already know how. (I am learning myself.) Maybe have scheduled walks with your Mom?
She is lucky to have a daughter like you that cares so much!
on 8/27/20 7:51 pm
Hi I'm Zoe and I'm April daughter, and I have questions, How can I help my mom with her weight loss surgery? She weighs over 600 lbs, and how can help her stay motivated?
Hi rattatkat. I am currently in the same situation. My mom is 60. She lives with me. She is about 350lbs. She uses a walker and has so many ailments. All of her family has passed. They all had heart attacks in their early 50s. She is so lucky to be her age. I feel like she is going to pass soon. Has your mom gotten help?
The hardest thing we humans have to face is that we can not force others to do things. Not even our children. The beat we can do is provide our guidance and advice. But in the end they must choose. Be it that alcohol, drugs, food, activity or any other behavior.
so if you find a time when your mom is in an open and receptive mood where the two of you can talk, ask her about her health goals. Listen to her feelings. There are people who choose not to change their behaviors because they have no interest in prolonging their lives. Some people really feel, "Why stop smoking, drinking, and eating fried foods? Why should I stop the few thing that bring any pleasure to my miserable existence." Which is why you have to let her talk and you listen. If someone is depressed, or can't see that their current behavior is bad for them, nothing you say will influence them.
However you might learn that they are scared, to not thing there is a solution that will work for them. If that is the case, they may be open to make a change if you can provide calm and thought through advice.
But you have to do a lot of listening first.
Best of luck!
It is better to travel and get lost...
Than never to travel at all.
Sorry to hear this, don't be so depressed. She might be busy. Try to contact her and share your concerns with her. This is the time you need her support and love. Try to get engaged in other things to overcome your depression. All the best.
Hey,
I think, you can easily convince her with the help of your family doctor or a good counselor. She might don't aware of her health issue so help her to know about her problems and its after effects. All the very best.
Hi you guys! I did a gastric bypass video on YouTube. I was wondering if you guys could help me with any questions that come as a new comer looking into it! I started the first Q&A and I would love to do a second! Its been 7 years (time flies) and I cant remember what I would have asked myself back then. If I could get some random questions to discuss on my next video that would be awesome. Here's a link below to my video if anyone has suggestions!
Please comment with suggestions!
Also, should I do a plastic surgery video?
Thanks in advance you guys!!
HW:333 SW:309 (7/14/09) CW:135
Plastics In MEXICO on 09/07/2015.
Arm lift/ Thigh lift / breast lift w/ implants/ lower body lift
Aprilgetinghealth · 1 replies · 508 views
