Weekly work out Sept 30

Hope everyone is doing well. Sorry I have not been around. A lot has happen to me and I am now dealing with PTSD and i am taking things day by day. The worst part of the ptsd is it is affecting my runs. I put the shoes on and and will sit there and sit there and sometimes i can go and other times off they come. I have a race at the end of the month and it will be a tough one. It takes me for ever just to leave my place

Monday swim

Tue run with friends and yoga.

wed strength training

thursday run

friday not sure

saturday work

sunday run

i hope to do these things but who knows.

Thats tough Highland..what caused the PTSD?

Week 8 of rehab started today. Wish I could say I was pain free but sadly Im not. I hoping my surgery was the right move. I know it takes time but Im getting nervous.

Went for a run on one of my favorite path and there is a spot with a high level bridge. this path is right on the water front. Seconds before I got to the bridge area a guy jumped and landed on the pavement and no one one would go near him but me. I i work in the health care and I could not do CPR. Deep down I know he was gone and he was a mess. I dealt with 911 along with keeping people back and losing my cool with a person who had phone out wanting to take pictures.

That is why putting the running shoes on is hard for me right now. I put them on and have done a run alone put so many times i had to tell myself to breath.

I can not get it out of my head what i saw and I feel so bad because i did not try to do cpr. I had no gloves i could not touch him. if you saw what i had seen you understand.

I pray that he knew that there was a person who stayed with him and who cared and he was not alone.

I have named him Rob because right now he has rob me of many things.

Would CPR have helped him? I assume you mean he was committing suicide? That would be tough to deal with. I agree, get a counselor to help. Thats a heavy burden you dont need to carry around.

deep down the answer is no but there is still a part of me that wonders. The police says he was gone i would not have been able to save him. My minister is the only one who i have told in detail what i saw and he says even if you did save him he would not have normal. He would have brain damage and so many of his bones were broken it would be awful for him. I know that. I pray that he knew i was there for him and at his darkest moment that a stranger did care about him.

I am working through it. It is the running that is hard and seeing bridges.My trainer is concern for me on my race how i will handle the bridges that i will have to face. the fact that people stand on them and cheer us is going to be hard.

Im sure he did.

Highand - so sorry to hear this - please be gentle with yourself. I do hope you are working with a counselor or group to help with the PTSD. It can be immobilizing. Sending healing thoughts your way. Do what you can each day and try to move forward.

Monday - lesson and fencing 3.5 hours

Tuesday - Olympic lift

Wedensday - fence 3 hours

Thursday - try to get some lifting in, work schedule is wonky

Friday - Lift if I can't on Thursday and maybe some yoga (had to take a month off Pilates)

Saturday - Fencing competition

Sunday - Fencing competition

Keeping all of you who are having trouble in my thoughts.

Thanxs Knitter..getting old sux