Am I being unrealistic or a goody two shoes?

on 11/23/11 11:56 pm - NY
I am not scared of Thanksgiving Day today because I'm just not going to eat anything but turkey!!!  Am I stupid and trying to be so good that I will miss enjoying food?  Well, enjoy it as much as us Banders can with restriction and all that!  I remember all too well YEARS of not eating the wedding cake/birthday cake/holiday food, because heck, fat people don't eat in public. :(

Does anyone share this ridiclousness?  I mean, can I have a piece of something like pumpkin pie, crust and all, and not feel like I am sabotaging almost 8 months of work?  I feel like the slope is too slippery and I will just fall back into that mindless eating.  I really can't eat a lot anyhow, but those slider foods like pumpkin pie might go down too easily!

God I hate this head stuff!!!  

"Accountability first to yourself, then nobody else matters"

on 11/24/11 12:06 am

Do you really want to go through life just eating turkey at a meal ? I sure wouldn't want to live my life that way and that is not the reason why we got the band in the first place.

The band is to teach us to enjoy our favorite foods in moderation .  I plan on having a sample of everything today .in moderation . 

I have always been told by my doc and my NUT its the amount of food we eat .  There is nothing wrong with having a small slice of pie today , what would be wrong is to sit down and eat three or four slices of that pie. 

My theory on this if you sit there and give up everything single piece of food that is "suppose to be bad for you " then one of these days you are going to go on such a eating binge on them foods because you have deprived yourself of them foods.

Moderation not deprivation is the key to any weight loss and the key to be successful at weight loss.

on 11/24/11 12:11 am - NY

That's how I got to 338 pounds :(, and at one point 352 pounds, and at one point as high as 400. 

I am a major control freak and I am afraid that I am in for a big fall when this motivation stops working. 

You are right about moderation.  I just can't wrap my head around the "good" and "bad" foods.  Story of my life, girlfriend.

I may need therapy!!!!!

"Accountability first to yourself, then nobody else matters"

on 11/24/11 1:06 am, edited 11/24/11 1:08 am
Oh I know what you mean and I think every overweight person knows what you are talking about also .

I have a friend that is a counselor and I have been talking to her about things.

She has told me many times if you dont overcome them fears and learn that food is not the enemy that you can sit down and enjoy everything in moderation then you will be better off in the long run.

She has told me many times if I dont get over my fears of certain things then the odds of me being successful LONG term is slim to none.  Oh I will do fine right now but the end result will be me gaining my weight back because I didn't learn to control them foods .

And like I told you earlier do you really want to go through every holiday meal just munching on a piece of turkey or ham and not enjoy the other foods around you ?  You might be fine with that right now but in the end it will come back and bite you in the ass  .

I understand you are scared but you are not doing yourself any good by avoiding them foods because food will always be part of our lives and like Kate said food is nice . 
on 11/24/11 1:30 pm - Athens, GA

Good post. I do agree with you on that. Moderation is the key.


Kate -True Brit
on 11/24/11 12:09 am - UK
 I have never, at any stage deprived myself. If you can go through a celebration day eating only turkey - good for you. I perhaps could, but I have never tried. From first getting my band, i have eaten as I intend to eat for the rest of my life.

I refuse to feel guilt from taking pleasure in food.

But if one " bad " day is going to throw you off track for months - be good!


Highest 290, Banded - 248   Lowest 139 (too thin!). Comfort zone 155-165.

Happily banded since May 2006.  Regain of 28lbs 2013-14.  ALL GONE!

But some has returned! Up to 175, argh! Off we go again,


on 11/24/11 12:14 am - NY

You are absolutely right, of course.  It's this OCD nature of mine.  But you being right doesn't fix my head, unless you want to come analyze me? I'll pay for the airfare across the pond!!! 

"I refuse to feel guilt from taking pleasure in food."

I may just adopt that as my mantra.  Years of conditioning is hard to undo.


"Accountability first to yourself, then nobody else matters"

Kate -True Brit
on 11/24/11 12:21 am - UK
 Donna, I spent years, probably more years than you have been alive, feeling guilty over food!

I have been very lucky. I have managed to learn to change this.I was lucky enough to be able to do it on my own ( with my band, of course!). But it has  been so key to my success that I really think that counselling might be a good idea for you.

Food is so central to our  social and family lives, above all, it is NICE. We can't forever deprive ourselves or, as Steelerfan says, we will eventually lose control and binge.

But if losing control fightens you, then you have to take care!

Fingers crossed fir a successful day for you, however you go!  But if you do slip, don't beat yourslf uptomorrow!


Highest 290, Banded - 248   Lowest 139 (too thin!). Comfort zone 155-165.

Happily banded since May 2006.  Regain of 28lbs 2013-14.  ALL GONE!

But some has returned! Up to 175, argh! Off we go again,


Jean M.
on 11/24/11 1:59 am
Revision on 08/16/12
I felt just as you do at that point in my WLS journey. I think that extreme caution was the best thing for me to do at the time. For most of my life, I've been such an all-or-nothing person. And when I had to have an unfill at 14 mos post-op, sure enough, a milkshake led to a cookie which led to another cookie which led to a brownie which led to a family size bag of potato chips which led to....

The good news is that slowly and carefully, I've been able to experiment with small amounts of formerly dangerous foods without major calamity. Where I work there are food treats for every big and little occasion and I've gotten to the point where I can take them or leave them as long as I'm not feeling too tired or stressed. So there may be hope for you yet! The important thing is to stop kicking yourself for feeling fear and confusion and other difficult head stuff. It's OK to feel that way as long as you don't let it take over your life.

Happy Thanksgiving!


Jean McMillan c.2009-2013 - Always a bandster at heart
author of Bandwagon (TM), Strategies for Success  with the Adjustable Gastric Band & Bandwagon Cookery. Bandwagon for Kindle now available on Amazon.  Read my blog at: 





on 11/24/11 9:29 am - NY
Thank you Jean!

I figured it had a whole heck of a lot to do with where I am in my journey.  I am still so new that I want to take great advantage of this MUCH easier time when this is still new, when I can still work it, when it's not old, etc etc etc.  I live in fear of that day 4-5 years down the road where those old habits creep back in.   I needed to hear that I wasn't alone.  And yes., I am an all or nothing person as well.  Definitely!

I promise to try very very hard not to let it take over my life.  Each day is a new learning experience and I'm hoping to come out of this with some great balance!

Thanks again Jean and Happy Thanksgiving to you too!!!!

"Accountability first to yourself, then nobody else matters"

Most Active
Recent Topics
Issues with port
Smurfette Smurf · 1 replies · 66 views
Old Band- no weight loss.
Kitty_mom · 0 replies · 229 views
Need a fill in FL
Linda P. · 0 replies · 290 views
Lap-Band in Costa Rica?
irishangel88 · 1 replies · 287 views