Considering lab band surgery... lots of questions......

on 1/5/12 10:12 pm
Yes, I'm new here and I am researching lap band surgery... Looking into it quite a bit and thinking that it may be the best option for me... but I am still really confused if it THE right choice for me. 

I am a stay at home mother of two.  My son is 15 and my daughter is 11.  I've been happily married for 18 1/2 years to the love of my life.  We homeschool.  And we have 2 dogs, 3 cats, 3 turtles and a partridge in a pear tree!  ;) 

I have been trying to lose weight now for 8 years... (longer than that really... but the 8 years is the longest stretch I've ever had without any significant weightloss at all despite my efforts) that have ultimately led to no success.  I have only succeeded to gain.  No matter how many times I have lost weight I have only gained it back, plus more on top of it.  I have battled this so long I have felt like giving up many different times.

Then this past year I ended up being diagnosed with high blood pressure and a few scares with it... and now I know it is time to really get my weight under control.  Not that I didn't already know or want to or wasn't already trying... but now it seems at a point where it is URGENT and life or death kind of thing. 

Part of me so much wants to just say well I can just eat healthy and exercise and that will work.  But I have been doing that off and on for 8 years... One diet after another, from nutrisystem, weigh****chers, south beach, counting calories, countless exercise programs.... only to have a little success but then ultimately fail and gain it all back and more on top of that. 

During all this time I have kept up the exercise more days of doing it than days of not... almost religiously for months and months... and doing that for years and years... and everytime something in life would come along and throw me off course... I'd start gaining again... and each time it has gotten harder and harder to lose... to where it feels nearly impossible. 

Before this eight year period I had succeeded in losing weight two other times in my life.  Both times all it really took was switching to diet soda and working out 5 days a week and drinking plenty of water.  I admit the second time I worked out alot... but didn't really change much except to drink more water... but the weight came off.. without major diet changes at all... But I have never managed to keep it off.  Usually I would fall off the exercise wagon and then gain it all back over time. 

But now working out no matter how many times a day or times a week or the intensity or duration... it doesn't seem to do it... or it will do barely anything... and there have even been times that I gained!  (And not muscle weight either) And I have kept at the exercise over that 8 year period for the most part.  My eating hasn't changed much... I just don't really know what to do.... I feel like I have done all I can and no matter what I do nothing seems to work. 

I have even tried classes... studying out reasons why I may over eat.  Though most people that know me say I don't eat that much.  But I feel I eat more than I should and definitely more junk than I should.  But even those classed didn't do it for me. 

It has affected my life so much... I am worried about my health... the problems I have now and could develop later on... And I worry for my daughter whose eating habits I want to change but realize I need to do slowly ... but I do realize it needs to be done.  I need to lose this weight and get healthy for her sake too... and for mine... so I can be here for her and my son.  I need to lose it, get healthy, eat healthy, and exercise, and set a good example for them so they won't have to battle what I've had to.  I wouldn't wish this on anyone. 

For the sake of my children and just enjoying life and participating in it again... I really need to lose this weight... and FOR GOOD.  I am just not sure if it is the right choice for me... I want this so much... but do not want to rush into any decision... especially one as big and permanent as this.  I don't want to rid myself of the health issues I currently have and trade them for different ones...

I realize it will be alot of work... and still takes discipline and self control to eat right and exercise even after having this surgery.  Which exercise has never been a problem for me... the eating is what I never seem to be able to stick to.  That's what's got me worried about this somewhat... because once you do it.... it's done... no turning back you HAVE to eat right... which is also another reason why I think it's such a great idea for me... to force me to eat healthy.  Why can't I just skip surgery and get more comitted to eating right... and keep exercising... which right now exercise is a no go because of my bp and some trouble breathing and stuff... would have to lose some weight somehow quickly to even begin back on my workout program.  But I think... why can't I just commit and lose it that way... instead of having to do this?  And then think... Can I even do this on my own that way?  I have tried soooo many times... and can't seem to do it... and get so little out of it despite the HUGE effort I put in to do so well... I'm sure all of you know the story...

So, as you can tell I am sooo confused.  I don't want to trade all this headache and pain of being unhealthy and overweight.... for a surgery that will cause me more problems down the road than I already have... or change my life so much that it is completely consumed by the new way of eating and living.... part of why I can never stick to a diet was all the counting and time consuming things you had to do to make sure you were eating right... and I wasn't living... all of the diets made me focus more on food than I did when I wasn't dieting and drove me batty!  I was always counting, measuring, or doing something with food... finding out the calories for everyhing or the points value.... just always looking up stuff and writing stuff down... I don't think I could do that forever and ever.  I just want to live... and not be ruled by food... but not be ruled by being over weight either... I'd be willing to get rid of my current misery of being unhealthy and taking further risks with my health... and have to give up my food or the current way I look at food and the way I eat and types of food I eat..... to have life and live again and be well.... and teach my children to do so.  And when I say that... I think... so why haven't I done that or been able to do it yet??  I don't know what to do...

As you can see I am just extremely confused.... I feel so ready to commit to doing this... but then think why don't I just commit to the healthy eating now then... without surgery.  I guess I have tried it so much and failed because it took such a large amount of effort and restraint that led to very small and mostly no results for me.  Like it was all in vain.... and accomplished nothing.  The healthy eating was always the biggest of the struggle, not committing to exercise... So confusing which thing was right... and the expense of it!!!  Which to be honest that was a HUGE ISSUE!  To have very little grocery money to go on, it's hard to by the healthy, fresh stuff when you have very little money and are forced to by noodles and frozen pizzas alot of the times.  Which aren't filling or healthy!  But you have to do what you have to do sometimes.  Another concern I have about this procedure... the after surgery diet??  Will I be able to afford it?  Because I will HAVE to eat right then. 

All of my questions stated... I'm still very interested in this procedure and think it could be the right choice for me because I have to lose this weight now... that's the bottom my weight has become an urgent issue for health reasons... I have to turn my health around... and I am determined to do so for once!  No matter what it takes.... but I just want to know what I am getting into if I take this route... the more I know... the more informed my decision will be. 

Can I count on success?  Can I count on it lasting and being permanent?  Will there be a lot of pain and hassle for the rest of my life because of the surgery?  Is following the diet afterwards costly?  I know it still takes hard work, determination, discipline, and self control to do this.... and there will be bumps in the road.... but I can handle that... this seems like a great tool to aid in weightloss for those who haven't succeeded any other way before.  I would love to hear any and all input all of you have on this surgery and it's outcome..... everything from how you came to the decision, your journey to the surgery and how long that took and how difficult that process was etc., how the surgery went, how recovery was, how life after surgery has been, and how successful you feel it was, and if you could do it over would you do it again??  All of these questions and any other things you can think of to tell me. 

As of right now I don't even know if my inurance (Humana) will cover this or not... if not then I don't even have to worry about knowing because I can't do it!  So I hope they cpver it... I have been told after going through a bunch of stuff they will approve you most of the time.  I have a dr appt with my family dr tomorrow and I will ask him what he thinks of this idea and hope that he is on board with me on this and help me get the process going. 

Does anyone here have Humana and know if they will cover it??  And was it a long drawn out process?  I am sort of worried because I am right on the edge I think of where I can be weight wise for BMI to be qualified for it... I am 5'2" 216lbs BMI 39.5...but I do have some health issues that are affected by it... fatty liver and high blood pressure just to name a couple. 

So I am afraid to lose any weight and I need to soooo bad... but I'm afraid it will knock me out of my chances... and I'd hate to lose a little right now and get knocked out of my chance... and then turn right around and gain it all back after they deny me... ugh.  So I don't know what to do or how long this will take... but I so hope I can start my weight loss journey soon... whatever it turns out to be!  Not looking forward to starting it again... for the millionth and one time... but... hopefully it will be the last time I have to do it!   I hope and I pray so!!! 

Sorry for such a long message.  Any help and input would be soooo appreciated.  Thank you. 

God Bless!  

on 1/5/12 10:50 pm - AZ

I'm new to this life, but I can tell you that if you don't want to pay attention to what you eat, how much you eat and HOW you eat it... then weight loss surgery probably isn't for you.
"Future's so bright, I gotta wear shades!"
highest weight : 428   Banded 11/3/2011 surgery weight : 386
on 1/5/12 11:04 pm
 Dear Hoping,

You are right...WLS is a major lifestyle change and one you need to be commited to.  It won't matter which surgery you choose if you are not willingto make the changes.

I went into my surgery 3 years ago, down 30 pounds on my own and ready to take the tiger by the tail.  For awhile I did everything right and lost 40 more pounds within the first year.  I went back to my surgeon for my yearly evaluation and let this miracle worker turned total jerk get in my head.  Long story short I realized I am an emotional eater.  I gained back 50 of those oh so good and gone pounds.  I am back on track and have my family behind me now.

I understand where you are standing with health issues, and children. You have a lot going for you and need the weight gone.  Please take this time to not only research, but talk to your family about your decision.  They need to be your main support system and if they aren't on board with this you will struggle harder.

I hope that whatever your decision is that you are very successful and that you go on to enjoy life in full measure.



Cheryl N.
on 1/6/12 12:37 am - Des Moines, WA

Hi!  Please do your research, research further into other types of WLS as well. 

I had the band for 2.5 years and I have had ALOT of problems, so 5 months ago I revised to bypass and I am very happy.

Look into Sleeve, bypass, DS.

Lapband is not for everyone.   It is also very easy to eat around the band as well.


246 in Dec 2008 before banded 1/28/09 at 215 lbs, band crapped 9/09 at 170 lbs and struggled with it and regained to 203 revised to bypass on 8/1/11 and am very happy.


(deactivated member)
on 1/6/12 12:52 am, edited 1/6/12 1:18 am
My eating hasn't changed much... I just don't really know what to do.... I feel like I have done all I can and no matter what I do nothing seems to work.  

your eating will have to change & sorry, i'm not one to buy into that eating healthy costs more than buying / eating noodles - pizza.
it may take better planning - but since your a stay at home mom....i think it can be done.

honestly - if your expectations that the lapband alone will do the job, without any personal changes on your're sorely mistaken.

keep reading those with success & see their lifestyles living with the band.

on 1/7/12 10:40 pm
On January 6, 2012 at 8:52 AM Pacific Time, redbabe08 wrote:
My eating hasn't changed much... I just don't really know what to do.... I feel like I have done all I can and no matter what I do nothing seems to work.  

your eating will have to change & sorry, i'm not one to buy into that eating healthy costs more than buying / eating noodles - pizza.
it may take better planning - but since your a stay at home mom....i think it can be done.

honestly - if your expectations that the lapband alone will do the job, without any personal changes on your're sorely mistaken.

keep reading those with success & see their lifestyles living with the band.

it may take better planning - but since your a stay at home mom....i think it can be done.

those were your exact words.  just not sure what that statement is supposed to mean.....  and farmers markets are not cheap either... at least that has not been my epxerience.  i know we have food ministries at a few churches but that is only for those that qualify and they aren't particularly the healthiest types of food. 
(deactivated member)
on 1/7/12 11:26 pm, edited 1/7/12 11:27 pm
i know exactly what i said & i repeated it again.  

your an excuse maker - period.  

ETA - down below i see twoXover is saying the same thing.   eating healthy does not necessarily cost more.

on 1/7/12 11:47 pm
Maybe saying the same thing but not as rudely.  I know my situation and know what can and can't be done.... so you are judegmental.... period.  I never said I didn't eat healthy besides that and am not making excuses not to.... I just know it's not always in my budget.... most of the time I have to take bill money just to get groceries period....   You don't know me or  my situation so you can quit judging.... and so are you saying that since I am a stay at home mom that I have more TIME to do the planning... if you think that... then YOU are sorely mistaken.  Have a nice day... I'm done with this conversation with you....  I have nothing to make excuses for....  but I wonder what your excuse is for being rude????
on 1/7/12 11:58 pm - NJ
VSG on 08/01/11 with
 I am a stay at home mom, and part of my "job" is meal planning and grocery purchase for the month, it is important to me that my family eat a certain way so I set aside the time plan out every meal and I cook every one from scratch. We eat mostly organic, home made meals (although I do do  some frozen veggies in the winter when I can't get my hands on fresh from local sources), but I also can my own food during the summer/spring/fall so we have home/local grown most of the winter. 

I feed us for less then $300/month and I have six (sometimes seven people) to feed. Red is right, it just takes some planning, for-thought and cooking.

If you make it a priority, it can be done.

Courtney - Lap band to VSG revision

on 1/8/12 12:17 am
Yes, I plan too as a stay at home mom.... our budget, our meals, our school lessons, etc, etc.  We can't all be as fortunate to have the land or time to grow our own crops.... no argument that it would be alot cheaper if I could do it that way.... but unfortunately..... I do not.  The only thing I save on that we have room to grow is tomatoes and a few cucumbers, not much else will grow without major changes being done to the soil, and not much room for much else besides.  I know plenty about what my 'job' entails though... thank you.  I don't mind 'red' helping me see how to save money on food.... as you just did... but insulting I do mind.... 
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