blown away by a comment on OH

Last week I had post my feelings towards a speedbump I have hit along my journey. I was a bit surprised to see that there are people on this forum that feel the need to belittle you rather then to support or advise you. The number of supportive members outnumbered the rude one by far, however I was told by another OH member "If you can't handle people's responses - then don't post here." No one on this forum has the right to speak to anyone in that manner. Furthermore when someone has not read your post thoroughly and has replyed with assumption the original poster is entitled to correct them without insult after all it is their post! I'm sorry but this is just mind blowing and completely disgusting that people feel they can speak to another that way!!!

I too find it unpleasant when people respond in such a way, but the reality is that we have no control over how other people post. They have every right to post however they wish on a public forum and some people will do so ignorantly and snarky. One thing to consider, though the delivery may be unsavoury, is there anything helpful you can take from it? Sometimes that's a yes and sometimes that a no. Though if they offend you so badly you can always block them.

Repost:

"Agreed, it was harsh. You are encouraged to express your feelings whether they are positive or not. We all have bad days, disappointments, and challenges. That's what this forum is for - not just sunshine and rainbows blown up your butt. You'll find that several people (myself included) are very direct at times, but that doesn't mean "unsupportive". The previous response you received wasn't supportive, agreed.

But, and it's a HUGE BUT...... what we all come to realize is that others are also frustrated, sad, angry, impatient... and sometimes it doesn't come out quite the way one wants to hear it.

Hope that helps a little."

This is a public forum, Kathy.  People WILL post as they see fit. Telling them HOW to post, or not post, will inflame people.  Myself included, I'm the first to admit.  Move on, forget about it, take what you need, leave the rest.

Karen

Thanks for posting!

My problem isn't with the reality of others opinions wheather it be that they ageree or disagree. I completely agree this is a public forum and they have the right to post as the see fit as do I. I just think its inappropriate for someone to tell you not to post on this site, because they disagree with your comment thats all.

I know.  It's not pleasant to read that. Heck, have you ever been to the main board forum? People are brutal there - this forum is WAY tame. LOL

Wow...I just went back and reread the original thread. I gotta say that I did see a lot of very supportive responses. I also did not see any that were belittling or what I would consider to be off-side, except for the ones that escalated the issue - namely yours, of which this is another example.

It is understandable and recommended to invite support when needed, but to dictate the terms on which it is given is immature. Consider that the emotional roller coaster you have been on (devastation, anger, hurt, etc) may be an opportunity to consider what tools are in the tool kit to allow you to moderate your emotions in a healthy way and to what degree a sensitivity to other people's actions, judgements, etc. have played a role for you. I don't know you at all, so maybe there's nothing of value for you in such an exercise, but it is easy to see that some people who end up as morbidly obese have developed overeating as their way to comfort themselves when the world does not act as they think it should or does not give them the comfort they are seeking.

I value the honesty I find on this forum, and think that to be offended by a response such as the one you received is belittling - to yourself and to people who care enough to respond with honesty.

I agree with Karen...take what you need.

Agree with you Sherlock....WOW.....I just read the original thread and now this....and although it degenerated a bit.....I saw lots of support - from Donna and the others...

Agree with Tracey - bad form to block and then start a separate thread about the person you just blocked..

Also - this forum ISNT just about support ....and I would really hate to see a nannystate....

Sometimes we read something and our immediate reaction is anger....sometimes makes sense just to sit on it awhile until we calm down a bit....my opinion only

You blocking her then calling her out isn't right either.  If you aren't happy with what she said that is fine but don't block her then bash her.  Just simply block her and move on.  Your first post was a bit of a Woe is me thread and you are going to get all types of replies to those types of posts.  I didn't find her original comment any different than what most said.  You can be upset all you want but the fact is the surgeons don't work around our schedules unless we self pay.  Her answer back to you about not posting if  you can't handle the answers is a very common response when people get the hairs on their back up with a reply.  Her delivery was perhaps harsh but she was very blunt and honest and said the exact same thing as what others said in a more sugar coated manner.

I just reread it and I must say that's not the first time I have seen ignorant comments.  you are %100 right this forum is for support and we all know some days is a challenge.  I have posted some of my hardest days on here...also  my mother taught me if you have nothing nice to say "don't say anything". unfortunately your going to see people like that everywhere you go.  they could be stressing and having the same challenges. Also  it is knowones business if you get your surgery before or after another person.  everyone has their own process, I am supportive and happy for everyone who has the courage to makes a stand and take this step to a healthy life. enough with trying to bring people down or act as if their wait hasn't been as much as a struggle then it was for another person.  it doesn't matter everyone has struggles and we are all supposed to support everyone. I agree not all the time you can sugar coat things but say it in a nice respectful way! -Karen I love u lol your very honest and you have helped me hold it together more then once , never belittling anyone this forum needs more people like u!!