3 days to go and getting ridiculously emotional

My surgery is on Tuesday, I have no fears or nerves about it yet...I figure that is because I have faith in the medical team I will be dealing with.

My nerves come into play over my husband (maybe this is a trust issue lol as I obviously trust the doctors) and his ability to cope with our children while I'm unable to be there.  We have 4 children ranging in age from 15months to 10 and I have always been the primary caregiver.  I will be home for breakfast on Tuesday the kids will be in daycare and school for the day and then to my mom's for dinner...Tuesday doesn't worry me.  Wednesday is a whole new ball of wax.  My hubby who has never had to get the kids ready for school or daycare will be responsible for this task before he leaves for work (for the past 10 years the schedule has worked that I have left later for work so I am always the one doing this) and then he has to be home on time to get them and feed them a healthy meal, deal with homework, bathtime, activities and bed.  I would like to think that a man who has 4 children is capable of doing these tasks...but the irrational part of me is terrified lol.  I think it might be a control thing and it probably has a lot to do with the fact that I have never been away from my youngest over night.

By Thursday afternoon I should be home and able to at least "oversee" what is happening in my own home...it's just Wednesday that has me nervous.  Plus the hospital is 45 mins away so I won't see any of the kids while I'm gone (I honestly thought that this would be a welcome "break" from being mommy and get to focus on me) but now I'm doing the sappy "I'm gonna miss my kids" lol.  I feel ridiculous for this and that's why I'm not voicing it to anyone but here.

I actually got teary when writing my list of items to pack for the hospital.  I keep laughing at myself because everytime I read a post about people being worried that the surgery wouldn't work for them I always thought "of course it will work...you will be a success" yet here I am...3 days out...wondering if this is going to be yet another failed attempted to fix the weight issue...the rational side of me knows that it will be ok...the emotional side of me?  Not so much.

Thanks for letting me vent...I don't know what I would do without this site.

 I also have 4, but mine are all teens. Just breathe, even if hubby is a little over wrought your 10 year old will know what needs to be done and will probably relish in the "helping" dad along the way.

Its important to not stress too much about what is happening, eve if a bath is missed or mis matched socks are worn everyone will be ok.

What you're feeling is totally normal, especially since you've been the primary caregiver to your children their entire lives.  That being said - this is your hubby's chance to prove he can do it.  The 10 yr old can also chip in where necessary, and that will be his/her chance to prove that he/she is old enough to take on some of the household responsibility.  Too many of us think we have to do it all, and we don't.  Fathers are no longer just sperm donors, they are parents and involved in their children's lives all the time (or should be).  (I really hate it when a father says he's "babysitting" his own kids.  You don't babysit your own, you parent them!)

So, you need to realize that you're not abandoning your children, but leaving them in the care of the only other person who loves them like a parent - their father.

Good luck on Tuesday - and enjoy the 'break for mommy' and focus on yourself.  You'll need time to heal, so don't let him slack off just because you're home.  You've just had major surgery, so act like it.  Don't overdue it, or you'll just be harming yourself, and end up back in the hospital.

Thanks guys...I really appreciate the support.  

I gave in and admitted to my best friend what I was thinking and she looked at me like I had grown a second head...then started laughing.  She followed that response up with "did you honestly think that I wouldn't be checking on my nieces and nephews?  Plus Jaimie (our other friend) is making dinner for your children and husband before she sends them home everyday" 

My 2 best friends live just up the street from me and one does my daycare...it's nice to hear that they've got my back...kinda irritating that any of us feel that we need to do it...my husband should be capable of caring for his own children.  He will be in for a rude awakening when I return home and refuse to just pick up where I left off...I exaggerated the lifting limits and the length of time...horrible I know but we all know that if I don't he will be pushing me to take back over everything well before I'm ready.

Just remember none of this is life threatening-if the kids are late for school- oh well, if hubby is late- oh well, if the kids dont get a bath before bed-oh well  ....  you get the idea.  Sometimes we just need to put things back into focus, everyone will survive for the period of time you will be out of comission and once you are better and able to help again the order will be resumed.

In doing this you are not just doing it for yourself but rather for the entire family, you will be more able to care for everyone and this is the first step in taking care of the one who is most important in your family~~~You!

All the best tuesday!!

Susan said just what I was thinking.  You might find it comforting to think of the "worst case scenario" - what's the worst that's going to happen during your time away and your first few days back?  The worst that will happen is that the kids might be late for school, might have something not-so-healthy for breakfast, might forget to do their homework or something like that.

None of those things are going to ruin them for life, none of them are going to stop them from going to university/college/trades, none of those things are going to cause any lasting harm.  The only lasting consequence might be that your family will recognize and appreciate what you do for them even more.

But yes, I would also be irritated if my husband couldn't handle a few days of running the house solo, and doing the necessary during my recovery time, so I completely understand where you're coming from when it comes to being annoyed.  But some of the actual anxiety might subside if you just let go and say, okay, things aren't going to be perfect for the next while, because my husband probably isn't going to run things as smoothly as I do.  And that's okay, because no one is going to sustain permanent damage as a result. :)