I need some help

Guys, I need some help. As some of you may know, I had to take a year of break from the process due to a failed suicide attempt. I'm grateful for that year to make sure that I got myself healthy and stable. This year also gave me the opportunity to decide if surgery is really what I wanted. The downside, is that it gave me too much time to overthink the whole thing. Now I'm not sure if I want it. I do, but I don't. I'm kind of on the fence. Can you guys share with me the reasons you LOVE your wls along with the negative parts? I'd like to hear people's experiences.  I would really appreciate it. Thanks!

 

I can tell you why I love my RNY but is this the right place for you to ask this, I assume you are having or had counselling.

I am enjoying being able to walk, exercise, shop and in general just feeling healthier.  This surgery is a risk and is not for everyone. 

I suggest you begin your process again and speak with the social worker honestly, more counselling may be necessary, there is so much to gain from this process but also so much has to be given up.

Please take advantage of the explanations and counselling provided with the process.  Be educated and  knowledgeable before you opt for surgery.

It is a huge step.

All my best

Laurie

Hi Stacey,

I have to agree with the other poster, that this really isn't a good enough place to get the answer you seek.

It sounds like you'd already made up your mind to have WLS and you know the benefits are endless but that it is also very stressful and you can no longer soothe your depression or other negative feelings with food.  It is a 24/7 "job" as one woman put it.  Without it, you will probably die young of an obesity-related illness, and will not enjoy life to the fullest. 

WLS doesn't cure depression.  It may help, especially if you can stick to the plan rigidly and are doing well, but you may fall into a deep depression if you don't live up to your expectations for yourself.

Many people who are candidates for WLS have mental illnesses, usually depression.  A suicide attempt doesn't automatically mean that they will reject you, but the more recent it was, the more time they will want to have passed.  You need to be "mentally stable" for a considerable period prior to surgery.  I don't really know, but I don't think a year is anywhere near a long enough period. 

Only you can really decide whether or not surgery is right for you.  Your psychiatrist can say that you are "mentally stable" and determine how long you have been so, but can't search your soul.  They usually do not know what kinds of numerous life-long changes WLS entails, so they can't really decide for you. 

It may not be appropriate just now, but it may be perfect for you in a few years.  If do you want surgery, you must ask all your psychiatrists - former and current to advocate on your behalf.  The centre will call them and speak to them at length.  Without any mental illness, centres do not want to hear that you have any doubts about having surgery.  No one really wants their guts permanently rearranged and their foods so drastically restricted, but it's a trade off that lots of people embrace to change their lives for the better.

I wish you the very best.

Jenn.

Great response Jenn. 

Thank you Dawn,

I value your opinion greatly.  You are the expert, not me. 

Jenn.

Good for you to take the year to recovery from the suicide attempt and serious depression.  Sounds like you took the past year to get yourself healthy and stable - recovery is an ongoing process.  I have chronic major depressive disorder (mod-severe) but have never been suicidal.  I had a relapse in my depression while in the RNY process and it took a year for me to recover.  Google CANMAT Guidelines for depression for evidence based approaches in managing to see if there's anything there that you are not yet doing that might be helpful i.e. meds/counselling/10000Lux light box/exercise/mindfulness meditation etc.  I have all these things in my recovery backpack.

There is good research on RNY - quantitatively.  It is the 'gold standard' for weight loss which means it is the most successful weight loss strategy in that a majority of people will lose and maintain 60-85% of excess weight.  Most diets have a 2% success rate.

There is also some qualitative research on the lived experience of people post RNY - a major theme is 'no regrets', even folks who suffer through medical complications related to surgery still say they would do it again.

I read in the book that ?Jen posted earlier today (first book) that the risk of dying from obesity/related causes in the next 5 years is significantly higher than the risk of RNY surgery.

i will also say that malabsorption affects your meds, 1 of my meds comes out the other end looking exactly the same as when it went in!  I am on meds that do not come in immediate release, so I am splitting doses and crushing (taste is absolutely terrible).  Even so my psych follow up depression screen indicates that my mood has decreased by 1/3 of what it was pre-op (I'm almost 5 weeks out) and it will likely stay that way for the next 6 months or so.  I was in remission pre-op and 1/3 down is something I will be able to manage.  So you will want to consider that in terms of the process.

As other folks have indicated there are a lot of emotional issues related to food that one has to work through preoperatively and post operatively.  It will be really important that you are in a strong mental place in order to identify and work through your triggers for the rest of your life.  Of course, obesity and depression are both chronic diseases and include relapse and recovery .  You and I have both to deal with.  For me I have made my recovery from depression a daily priority and intend to do the same with my weight - ultimately both are about health.  Managing my weight is very much dependent on managing my depression.  

I love my RNY - I have lost significant weight in just this short time and it is 'easier' than any other program I've tried.  It came down to my high risk of developing diabetes - I figured I could check my blood sugar 4-6 times a day, give myself insulin injections and log everything I eat and eat on a plan to manage disease OR I could log my eating on the RNY plan and take vitamins 4 times a day for the rest of my life.  The difference the RNY will help me get healthier whereas the other is all about trying not to get sicker.  I want to LIVE my life.  I'm tired of being too tired, unfit, too big to go skating/skiing with my kids as my weight on my ankles on a narrow blade is excrutiating (also difficult to find a ski suit in plus sizes).  

My surgery went beautifully and my only post op problem is comparatively minor - gas pain.  I was terrified that I might die during surgery.  At the same time, I wanted to have this major surgery while I was relatively healthy so that I had the best chance at recovery - I didn't want to have this surgery when I had diabetes or post heart attack.

All the best in your recovery and your decision.

Deidre

What a great, wonderful, supportive response 

I had surgery in 2000 because I felt like I was going to die. In 1997 I almost died with the onset of diabetes being misdiagnosed. By the time I finally went to the ER 2 weeks later. i couldnt walk I was weak. My kidneys had shut down. My blood sugar was 1200 i was in kedoasidosis. I was in ICU FOR 10 days. I begged to go home and die. when i got out i was taking 8 insulin shots a day, walking, a diabetic diet and my sugars ran in thr 4-5 hundred range everyday. i had 2 little ones that had no father to take care  of them. I had to do something I had diabetes, sleep apnea, acid reflux. All those I issues were resolved the day i had the gastric bypass. Although i have regained 80lbs of the 220 i lost my surgery was a success. 13 years later im still not diabetic. I would do it all over again in a heart beat. But you have to make sure you are ready to committ to it when you do because you have to work your tool to be successful. Good luck

Well my story is one time i was 430 pounds am only 5'7 had a bmi of 66 had trouble walking andcouldn't really play with my kids. Now i am still 5'7 am now 247 pounds and my bmi is not sure but alot lower now. I am so close to hitting 200 pounds lost. I can not only play with my kids but i can actually run. My knees feel great i feel 15 years younger. This is the best thing i ever did for myself. But it is a decision you have to make for yourself. Good luck and i wish you the best Take care : )

Why don't you want the surgery?

I am just over 3 months out and I can't even begin to say how much I love myself now. Really love, not vanity or other stoopid fool yourself stuff. I can honestly say I feel strong, healthy, bouncy (and a lil balder -but who cares) and alive for the first time in quite a while. It's amazing how far a little success will take you. It's as addictive as food any day.

Choose life.