Mom is supportive But....

pink7sadie
on 10/6/13 7:05 am

So my mom is fantastic, we have a great relationship.  We're very close.  I've talked to her about the surgery and told her that I have started the process.

She's apprehensive.  I think she's just nervous about the surgery itself.  I've told her it's a tool and I still need to be prepared mentally.  And she'll make comments like "I wish you could lose weight without this" and "why don't you just get yourself right mentally before you have surgery and then don't do the surgery?"  My retort was "don't you think I would have done it by now if I could" 

This is kind of hard to deal with.   I know that so many others have had greater obstacles than mine, but that's just it, these are MINE.  Any suggestions, or something that I can say to her?  I don't know if she needs reassurance?  (When I was 14 I got my gallbladder out.  I was fine, she was a wreck!)  Maybe it's just a "momma bear" thing?

How is everyone else dealing with comments?

REFERRED: June 19, 2013, ORIENTATION: September 23, 2013,1st SURGEON (Dr. KLEIN) APPT. October 10, 2013 RN / SW / NUT: December 20, 2013 DR. GLAZER: January 7, 2014 2nd SW / NUT: February 14, 2013, 2nd SURGEON (Dr. KLEIN) APPT. March 31, 2014, 2nd APPT. DR. GLAZER: February 4, 2015   PATTS: February 19, 2015 SURGERY: March 13, 2015

    

Nanato2
on 10/6/13 7:16 am - Canada
VSG on 02/12/13

It is just a mom thing she is worried about her baby. I was the same way when my daughter had her surgery and then I ended up having mine. Just keep her involved and informed and tell her what you need from her and no matter what she will be there to support you just like she always has.

Referral- March 2012, Letter April 19, Orientation TWH- June 6, NP - July 3, Sleep Apena test July 16, Internist and SW  - July 17, Nutritional class - July 23, Dietician appt. July 30th, Psych-Social appt - Aug 20th. Follow up with doctor sleep apena Aug. 28th  Surgeons appt. - Dec. 14th Dr. Jackson. Surgery date - Feb 12 2013 - VSG   

                
Zizzler
on 10/6/13 7:22 am

Sorry to hear about your mother, I'm sure she means well and is just worried, but she needs to respect your decision too. If I had wanted the surgery even 5 years ago I am sure my father and the rest of the family would be saying the same.  But everyone is very supportive because they know I have tried everything and I think they are more worried about me dying from a heart attack or sleep apnea.  I thought my father would be against it but he was really positive, even after coming to the orientation with me.  And he has always been very against any surgery in any form. Your mom probably needs a bit more time to accept your decision. I fully expect to meet people who do not understand and are against it even. No matter what you there will always be some who do not agree.  Hope she comes around soon...

Dani34
on 10/6/13 8:56 am, edited 10/6/13 8:56 am - Canada
VSG on 10/21/13
My BF reacted very poorly. It was hurtful and the end result is that I tell her very little. I've been through a lot in the last few years and I really want this. I know you can't do this with your mother. Perhaps, bringing her to meet with the surgeon will help. At the end of the day, this is your decision and it needs to be respected. You need the support. I would be very clear about that with my family. I have told very little people because most people react strongly and think the surgery is ridiculous and dangerous. I'm asked "are you sure" can you just imagine what I really want to say to them?

~Danielle

GP Referral: Summer 2012 Orientation: December 17 th, 2012  Dietitian/Social worker and Nurse Clinician January 31, 2013  Post OP: September 19th 2013 Surgery: October 21st, Dr.Smith  (VGS) 

    

    

Monica M.
on 10/6/13 11:00 pm - Penetanguishene, Canada

Sounds like an insecure momma bear thing. Reassure her that you've got the best of the best surgeons working on you, and that they've done assessments that conclude you are a good candidate for the surgery. Tell her that you're getting lots of support from people on there, and if she'd like to talk to anyone who's gone through it, she's more than welcome to sign up on the board and ask all the questions she needs to.

        
Lolabug
on 10/7/13 12:10 am - Canada
RNY on 07/23/13

Is there a support group near you? She might benefit from hearing other people's stories and experiences.

    

pink7sadie
on 10/7/13 9:33 pm

 I will ask her if she wants to join me for any of my appointments.  I hadn't asked her before because I didn't think she'd be able to take off work, but that's her decision to make not mine.

THANKS ALL! 

 

REFERRED: June 19, 2013, ORIENTATION: September 23, 2013,1st SURGEON (Dr. KLEIN) APPT. October 10, 2013 RN / SW / NUT: December 20, 2013 DR. GLAZER: January 7, 2014 2nd SW / NUT: February 14, 2013, 2nd SURGEON (Dr. KLEIN) APPT. March 31, 2014, 2nd APPT. DR. GLAZER: February 4, 2015   PATTS: February 19, 2015 SURGERY: March 13, 2015

    

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