Fighting With My Brain.

So let me preface this by saying the following: I'm NOT scale-obsessed, I'm NOT going mental over "the numbers", I KNOW this is a process, etc. This is just me getting out my feelings in a place where I know others will "get it".

I was 340lbs on the first day of Opti (October 23). I didn't lose a lot on Opti - just 13lbs. That surprised me - because my starting weight was so high, I had assumed I'd lose more. Day of surgery, 327lbs (November 14). As of today, I'm at 301.6lbs. Now, part of me is like "HOLY CRAP! You've lost 39lbs since the end of October!!" The other part is, "WTF? You started out so big and have only lost 39lbs since the end of October??"

I know that part of it is that I haven't been walking nearly enough. For two reasons: 1) I work from home and this is THE busiest time of year. I'm solely responsible for two different departments, and have no 'backup', so I work long, stupid hours. 2) My recovery was a LOT more difficult than I expected, and yesterday was the first day that showering didn't make me have to sit down afterwards and rest for 30-45 minutes. I was SUPER weak and exhausted all the time. Now that I'm finally starting to get back to normal, the walking will increase, obviously. So I know that will help.

I guess I worry because the original surgery was such a dismal failure. I know that this is a totally different situation, and the reality is, it took me 3 months to lose 30lbs with my first surgery. This time around, I'm a month and a half since starting Opti, and have lost 40lbs. So I'm logically WELL aware that this is a whole different ballgame. My first "Goal" for myself is "Under 300lbs by Christmas", and I know I'm going to hit that. 

So then....why do I feel like I'm not doing as well as I could be? I'm not exactly sure where I need to have my head at for this, so I'm wondering if anyone else can share their stories/experiences? 

Stop being so hard on yourself! You are doing great. You've lost 10 lbs a month!  That is amazing!  Be kind to yourself.  Enjoy the ride.  We didn't gain it all at once and we're not going to lose it all at once.  These things take time!  Just live for today and enjoy the moment!  Merry Christmas to you!

 

ditto - mindfullness

I think part of your disappointment might come from being so tired. We wait so long for this surgery we expect instant results. As your energy increases and your work load decreases hopefully you can get moving. This will help you mood as well. Try to take vcare of yourself and get some rest as well.

I am sure this will work for you

I think you are doing great.  Major surgery can definitely knock you flat on your behind...so please give yourself a break there (plus working the crazy hours you have.)

I am still pre op..and I myself am prepared to lose slowly..( I know my body)...but in my mind I am going to tell myself that this is a tool, and its a tool I will have for life.  And that tool should help to keep the weight off.  Just think positively and believe that the weight you have lost thus far will be gone forever.  

So think of each pound lost as an accomplishment.  Pat yourself on the back.  You will get there..when your body is ready.

Just like the saying--"slow and steady wins the race." 

Just think, by this time next year, the stress and upset you feel right now will be a distant memory.

Hang in there,

Vicky

 

To put it in perspective go to the grocery store and try picking up 40 lbs of butter... that's how much you've lost in just under 2 months!!! And it's gone -- FOREVER!!! That's pretty amazing! Hang in there and keep up the good work.

Thanks, everyone. It's such a weird dichotomy in my head. I'm totally happy and pleased with my progress, don't get me wrong - I just thought, considering where I was starting, it would be different. I guess the truth is, it's coming off one way or another! :)

So glad I have this place to come and talk about these things!!

Hey that is good! I am only a few pound ahead and think of it this way, I had mine at the end of October as well, I barely lost anything in opti.  I also have no choice but to walk everywhere (I live downtown and do not have a car or TTC Pass) and I go to the gym about 3 times a week. Let your our body get use to it, cause you are not doing anything wrong. If there is, than I must be doing something wrong as well! Lol JJ 

You're doing amazing! Keep it up! I will agee there are bad days and good days, we all feel them! 

Look back at this post you did in a few month and you will know there is a difference. ;)

I think that this is not an uncommon feeling.  I felt that way too.  I lost barely 10 pounds on opti and the weight is not coming off in the numbers I have seen from others on this board.  That being said, it's still coming off and that's what we need to concentrate on.  Someone else said it in a previous subject, it's not only 40 pounds, it's wow 40 pounds.  It will just take work to look at the other side of the coin.

you have done fantastic and all the hard work you are doing to stay on track will continue to help you do fantastic

think of it in terms of your goals, that helped me a lot, you met your first goal,and that is reason enough to celebrate,

Hi Tab. You had a revision like me and are still healing. It will come off trust me. You are doing great.  Once you get more active you will see a big difference . This is my opinion ....Stay positive hun..Krista..