I was at a friend's birthday party tonight, at her her house. I always leave my house prepared - bottles of water, and something to eat just in case I get caught in a place where there's nothing I can have, or I don't trust how it was prepared. The three friends that were there tonight all know I had surgery, but they don't ask me much about it or talk about what I can/can't eat. So all there was to eat tonight was junky stuff, chips and dip and fried appetizers, pizza, potato wedges and fried chicken etc. So rather than make myself sick, I ate the lettuce wrap I'd brought with me. I didn't think it would bother anyone, but my friend said she felt really offended that I brought my own food. I guess I didn't realize how it would look - but I needed to eat something and I wasn't about to eat pizza. 

Has this ever happened to anyone else? Is it rude of me to bring my own food if I know there is going to be junk where I am going? I don't shove my healthy eating in anyone's faces or tell them they shouldn't eat crap, I just carry on doing my own thing and let them do theirs. But I guess this has offended these friends a few times, and by the time I left they had me convinced that I was totally rude and in the wrong... So now I don't know!

Honey...

You need some new friends. 

Michelle

I second the new friends suggestion. I think it's really rude to serve junk and then get offended that not everyone treats their body like a trash can. Good for you for keeping it healthy

Whenever I throw a party with food, I always take my friends special diets into consideration.  I have one with allergies, and another who can't eat gluten. I always try to accomodate and have something they can eat. If I'm unable to, I let them know what I am serving so they can bring something of their own if they like. To be offended by you doing so is ridiculous. They are obviously overly sensative and unrealistically judgmental.

That is good Kimmie :) You must be a great  host and friend to consider your friends situation.

You know, I'd also inform them that "IF" you were to eat what they were serving you would become EXTREMELY ILL!!! And if you go too long with out food you could get EXTREMELY ILL!!!! Sorry, but I'm annoyed that anyone made you feel as if you were in the wrong. It sucks!!! My 2 cents

I totally agree with the other comments.

Hold on to your seat--its going to be a bumpy ride. I would venture to guess that these "friends" of yours will be working overtime to sabbotage your efforts.  Don't allow it. If you feel you have to continue socializing with them, you may want to ask them directly why they aren't being supportive ... after all isn't that what friends do for each other? 

I wouldn't hold my breath on those friends sticking around when Katie loses her weight. Sorry, Katie, but you are too good to be treated like this, especially now, when you are trying so hard.

It is not rude to bring your own food, and if they are your friends they would understand that.  Could it be that they do not understand how important it is for you to avoid junk food?  I am not defending their behaviour, but I know before I started this process I had no clue how things worked after surgery and would have assumed you just eat anything but in smaller amounts. If they already know that and are behaving this way anyways, then I would agree that is not something a true friend would do. I still remember over a decade ago when I stopped drinking and my friends tried to get me to drink, saying I was no fun unless I was drinking, etc., even though they knew I needed to stop.   Anyhow, I remember the moment when I realized that they were not really my friends and that I would have to move on.  Maybe it is time to hang with other people who are supportive and understanding of your situation. Btw you should be proud or yourself - you did great it a very stressful situation.

Ugh, I do need new friends!! I knew I wasn't crazy thinking that it wouldn't be offensive to bring my own food. It's not like we were at a restaurant or something! I've known these women my whole life, and we have all been overweight together for the last 10 years or so. I sometimes wonder that now that I am breaking rank and getting healthy, if they aren't a tad bit jealous. I couldn't tell any of them about the surgery before I had it because I knew I'd get nothing but grief about it, but afterwards they all seemed to be supportive when I was losing weight fast so I spilled the beans. I hate to think badly about people, or to assume the worst... but sometimes the shoe fits. I think I have known for a long time that this friendship in particular has run it's course and I've outgrown them, but this really drives it home. They don't make any effort for me, and I am expected to never change and just be overweight and miserable with them for the rest of my life. 

Thanks, ladies. I hate that they had me questioning my own judgement about my healthy behaviours!! I have worked too hard on both my eating habits and my self esteem to start going backwards, and I need to stand my ground with these silly women and not be bullied in to thinking I am always wrong just because they feel bad about their own eating habits. It's probably time to start pulling away from this group and try to meet some new people who are on my wavelength.