How to be assertive without coming of as rude?

new_me180
on 8/10/14 11:27 am - Kitchener, Canada
RNY on 10/24/13

I'm planning to call the clinic in the morning cause i'm still in quite a bit of pain. For the most part, they have been nice to me when i call. I'm just frustrated at the moment that there's no resolution to the pain that i've had for over a week. I just want to make sure i'm heard and not taken as a serial complainer or moaner and that my issues are dealt with accordingly. Since my regular Dr is on vacation, i feel like covering Dr's just brush you off as they don't know you as well as your own. I'm not a rude person but, once in a while the devil comes out. Of course i know not to do this as they won't see me at all but, i also feel hopeless at the moment and at my wits end. Any suggestions on what to say when i do call or see a surgeon?

    
crqvingchange
on 8/10/14 8:15 pm

I hope that they can get to the cause of your pain.  You have been through so much since starting your journey and just because this hasn't been resolved, that is not a reason for you or the doctors to stop trying.  Please try not to get frustrated and say fine I'm going home.  Stay and get answers.  Is your surgeon back from vacation yet?

NewMe2.0
on 8/11/14 12:50 am, edited 8/11/14 12:50 am - Ontario, Canada
RNY on 05/20/14

I am sorry you having so many problems.  I don't have any suggestions on what to say or do, except to stand your ground and be firm.  I don't know which doctor you are having issues with and refuse to see, but I had Dr. Bhojani, the new surgeon and found him to be amazing.  Maybe you can ask to see him.  I had some minor complications after surgery and found him to be very patient, caring,  and understanding. ( I had blood in my urine the day after my surgery, a head nurse said it was my period, which I knew it wasn't as I had back pain as well, and knew what the symptoms were as I had 2 kidney blockages and surgeries at Thanksgiving.  Turned out I was right..ended up passing a stone).

Since he is the newest doctor on the staff, he will probably be around.

Or maybe you can go in and talk to one of the nurses, but I don't know what or if they can do anything for you except tell you to wait for Dr. Reed.  But I would definitely do something.  Something is wrong with you and they need to get to the bottom of this.. you have been having issues for far too long.

Anyway, from one New Me to another...I wish you well.  Please keep us posted.

Vicky

 

 

 

 

 

 

  • Referral:  Feb 2013/ Guelph  
  • RNY May 20th 2014 (Dr. Bhojani)                                                                         
  • 2nd RNY (revision due to marginal ulcers) Aug. 10th 2015 ( Dr. Bhojani)  
  • Revision to VSG (marginal ulcers): March 22nd 2016 (Hamilton, Dr. Hong)
  • Total Gastrectomy:  Dec. 15th 2016 (Hamilton, Dr. Hong)

 

    

Karen M.
on 8/11/14 1:00 am - Mississauga, Canada

I think at this point I would lead with my feelings: fear. (Or at least that's what I would be feeling) I would ask for help because I am scared. A plea for help is often more effective than a demand for an answer, in my experience. I hope you get this sorted out soon.

K.

 

Karen

Ontario Recipes Forum - http://www.obesityhelp.com/group/ontario_recipes/

NewMe2.0
on 8/11/14 1:08 am - Ontario, Canada
RNY on 05/20/14

That's great advice Karen. 

new_me180
on 8/11/14 7:34 am - Kitchener, Canada
RNY on 10/24/13

Thanks everyone for the help, i really appreciate it. Well i did call and spoke to Audrey and she said she'd let the surgeons know what's going on and see what they say. Unfortunately Dr Reed is not back till next week but, she said she spoke to two of the docs that where there today and they said since the tests done in emerg were normal and showed no acute signs of anything, to follow up with my GP and if my GP feels like it is related to the surgery, he is to call Guelph and consult with one of the surgeons. SERIOUSLY!!! i really feel frustrated, i even emphasized to the nurse how much pain i was in and how the pain meds are not working(i should just go to Guelph and park my slightly less fat ass in the ER until i get answers, lol). It seems like none of the surgeons are willing to see me because i was told after i follow up with the GP, to f/u with Dr Reed next week. NEXT FREAKING WEEK!! I'm still in pain here. I'm at my wits end and i feel like no one is listening to me. So they seem to be telling me if i need help and my surgeon is not available, no one is willing to see me or am i missing something? Or is this another case i need to see/talk to the patient advocate again?

    
Karen M.
on 8/11/14 7:57 am - Mississauga, Canada

Again? You've already dealt with the patient advocate?

 

Karen

Ontario Recipes Forum - http://www.obesityhelp.com/group/ontario_recipes/

new_me180
on 8/11/14 8:13 am, edited 8/11/14 8:15 am - Kitchener, Canada
RNY on 10/24/13

Yes i have, i don't know what to do now. Oh i guess you missed that post Karen. It was in February. Long story short, i was having pain, nausea and vomiting was admitted and my doc was on vacation then too. The covering doc came, touched my tummy for less than a second, told me that since surgery i've had endoscopy x2, and he wasn't going to do another one as he's never seen or heard of someone having so many complications( like i have a fetish with endoscopies) and i never asked him to do one either, like it was my fault for being in pain. Mind you the first one they saw an ulcer,, second was the scratches, so they were not for nothing. Then he went on to say he wasn't going to do much and i would just have to live with the pain. He also suggested to me i was there for the drugs and and gave me no reassurances at all about how i was feeling and basically blew me off and any questions i had. That's why i refuse to see him in particular because whats the point.

The advocated last time i spoke to her about the other incident said that my complaint was addressed and the Dr was spoken with as well as passing the complaint around to other surgeons so they are aware of how they treat and come across. She did say they blacked out my name but now i'm wondering if they did and the other docs are just trying to stay away from me 'just in case' we don't click. If that's the case, it's just wrong.

    
Karen M.
on 8/11/14 8:23 am - Mississauga, Canada

I'm sure they did but it's not all that genius to figure out who the complaint came from, considering the ongoing issues. Honestly, I'm not sure what I would do in your position. Knowing me and pain, I'd be likely to be found sitting in the ER begging for help. But I don't think that helps you any. Sorry :( 

 

Karen

Ontario Recipes Forum - http://www.obesityhelp.com/group/ontario_recipes/

Karen M.
on 8/11/14 8:44 am - Mississauga, Canada

Yeah, sorry I did miss that post. I was a little "absent" for a while.

 

Karen

Ontario Recipes Forum - http://www.obesityhelp.com/group/ontario_recipes/

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