Dating Advice

I am trying online dating.  Started talking to a guy and it was going well. Until he said "You are so beautiful, how is it you have never married". This pretty much filled me with dread and I had no idea what to say. Beside the point he called me beautiful which was just thanks to a really good selfie. The reason I have never married is I have never been asked and I have never been asked because I have never even got close to that point as dates for morbidly obese people, or at least THIS morbidly obese person are few and far between. So my question is, how does a person answer this question without looking completely insane and sending the guy running for hills?  

You could just tell him either "You haven't found the right person yet" or "you are still looking for your soul mate".  It doesn't matter what size you are, if you haven't met the right guy yet, you haven't met the right guy.  That's an acceptable answer to the question.

Hey, don't put yourself down, you are beautiful !

Cathy

lol, that sounds resonable now! mind was blank last nigh

I (personally) don't think he expects an answer to that question...  I think it's just something people say?  But I've been wrong before!!!  

However, if you think he's truly asking, "I haven't met the right person" is a true and honest response. No more detail is needed.  

I'd just be honest. For me, it's been, I've had a few close calls, but things unfortunately did not work out. Then I just say I am optimistic that when it is right, it will happen.

I also have three rules, for me, with online dating:

In regards to photos. I never put my best ones up. Only the average so so ones' Its seemed to work very well for me. 

Never go in with expectations. I tell them the only expectation I do have, is that both parties remain kind, even if no romantic connection or attraction is present. 

Meet as soon as possible. I usually will only exchange a week of messages, then text, and one phone call. You can tell A LOT more via phone, I find. If they don't speak up and ask you out by then, you can bring it up, if you really want to meet them, or move on. Some people like to live in the online world, and never actually leave the computer screen to meet people, and isn't that supposed to be the point? 

Good luck, online dating can be tricky, time consuming, and draining.

Thanks for the tips. Esp about the photo. Makes sense

My favorite line for that question used to be "I'm trying to cut down on that sorta thing".  But you've got to be true to who you are.

Don't sell yourself short and take your time, be kind and patient with yourself.

I did on line dating about 7 years ago.  I got some pretty strange emails, which were ignored.  I was picky about who I spoke to and how much info I provided to them.  I was married and divorced but did not really bring that up unless I felt comfortable about it.  The one thing that I would suggest to answer that question is that you just never met the right person, which really is the truth to that question. As someone mentioned here, it is likely that they are not really looking for an answer to that question but it is just something that people ask.  I know I asked it of the people I chatted with.  I also agree with what others have said about not chatting too long but setting out some guidelines for yourself because there are lots of people out there who just like to stay on line but don't want to move it forward.  Only move it forward if it feels right.  Trust your gut, it speaks the truth.  I have learned this the hard way but now if something doesn't feel right it probably isn't and if it feels good then it likely is.  I likely would not necessarily get into the issue with weight and the surgery until I felt comfortable enough to bring it up.  Anyone *****ally is interested in getting to know you, it won't matter to them.  I was successful with the online dating thing but it can be very discouraging.  Some men never grow up.  I removed my profile on more than one occasion only to put it back a few months later.   There really are some good guys out there.  Don't give up it may take some time to meet that one and you might find you end up meeting them somewhere else.  Be smart and trust your heart.   I hope it all works for you good luck.  

I am in the same boat kinda.... in regards to marriage.. 43 and only ever had one 1-yr-long relationship. never been proposed to, not even close to ever being engaged in my lifetime. I just wanted you to know that you're not alone!

Online dating sucks.. I too like to meet people within a week.. I don't fancy back and forth chat for months with no intentions of meeting. Don't waste my time buddy! And i put lots of photos, good, bad, full length, head shots.. 

why not just be honest! has he been married?  and if he runs for the hills.. he's not worth it!