Terrific Thursday, What is up all??

Grateful for 403 days and so proud of me. Hoping for a break through visit with my PCP today. I feel lousy, grummy, mean, and depressed. All my bones and muscles hurt all the time. Laying in bed I wonder how I could hurt so. Need to find the reason and take action.
COLD here today. Bundled up in fleece and socks. Don't like it and realize that many others have it colder and ugly outside. At least we have sunshine.
Shopping almost done, paper wrap brought and the RV is littered with bags of gifts. Such fun we had finding special gifts, joy abounds within us. Keeping Christ in Christmas is easy and so soul happy making. I feel the seaon is keeping me from "acting"on the mean thoughts I am having. Hate the me somedays.
Yoda explored a gift bag last night and had such fun pulling the gifts out of it. Reminded us of our wonderful cat old Seby. He arranged the gifts around the RV, too cute.
Hope you all have a super day, prayers for all. Monica

Good morning Monica & all. Finally feeling better today. I have a little energy. Will try baking again. Also trying to stay out of my chair in the living room. I it down & go right to sleep!. Had Dh buy the movie the Help. Sounded so good. Cost as much to buy as to go see it as the theater is 20 iles away & will fall asleep there anyway!

Monica so proud of you, hope you feel bvetter soon. Waiting on Susans news, praying on good news, great news for Eileen!!!! Karen, get get out of that that funk. Just think The shortest day of the the year is the 21frst.
then it it light out eariler every day!!!! Hae agreat day all!!!!
Nan

Nan,

   Send some cookies my way. It seems like something happens every year that stops me from baking at Christmas. Mom and I used to do marathon baking every year plus my neighbor, her young children, and I would do one day of baking.    Mag  

Good Morning Everyone,

I am feeling much better. I've worked 3 hours several days this week subbing in a lifeskills classroom at an elementary school. I like working with special needs kids much more than, pardon my French, smart assed 8th graders! More sleep due to doubling my restless legs meds and adding a small anti anxiety pill and another little pill to help me sleep. It's just been a week and I'm doing much better. I think the extra dose of restless legs med has done the most and the quickest so far. Trying to stay in bed longer in the morning but still getting up by 5am at the latest.

I tackled my computer room two days while I had time in the morning and it is now organized, cleaned, and filed. Hannah and Clara will be using that room while they're here for a week. They are normal, curious, creative almost 4 year olds so everything valuable or fragile needs to be out of their way!

I am in the process of making oven beef jerky. I'll let you know how it turns out. Used the "asada" sliced beef from the store which is just the right thickness without me having to do the slicing.

My sis in law Judi and I are going to see "Beauty and the Beast", a local high school production tonight. Should be great as the music teacher puts on wonderful productions.

Waiting for a phone call so I'll know if I have time to cook the jerky this morning or will have to wait til later.

Foggy and cold here this morning. It's been clearing off about 10am each day, clear and sunny but still about 20 degreess.

Sending warm thoughts to all of you.

 

Good morning everyone,

I should be happy today, but I'm not.  I'm just terribly, terribly sad.  The situation with my daughter has deteriorated quickly this week.  I could just sit here and drip tears if I let myself.  It's all I can do to muster a smile for Benny when he looks up at me.  I've lied and told my family I have a headache so they will all leave me alone.  I just don't want to see or speak to anyone today.  It won't fool my husband for long, but hopefully he'll respect my space today.  If I have to talk about my feelings, I'll just die today.

On the plus side I'm down another pound today.  And we're supposed to be getting our new car either this evening or in the morning.  I should be all excited about that.

I have decided that after I take Butch to the airport on Sunday, I'm going to run away from home.  LOL.  Sort of.  I'm leaving Monday to go visit my oldest daughter in Waco.  I'll just leave Christie and Benny here at the house.  I don't care how long it takes.  I'm not coming back home until they're gone, and they won't be able to leave until her car is fixed.  So be it.  I can not possibly stay here alone with her after Butch leaves.  It just wouldn't be healthy for any of us. 

Sorry to be such a downer today.  I just cannot see anyway out of this horrible situation with my poor bi-polar daughter.  I love her, but I can't stand being around her like this.  And she hates me--truly hates me.  She's focused all her anger on ME, and while it's not the first time this has happened, I have a feeling this is the last time.  I can't take all the screaming and cussing and hatred anymore.  At some point, self-preservation has to kick in, and I think I've reached that point.

I'd better close before I get even more maudlin today.  Love you all. 

 Hi Vickie,
I am so sorry your daughter is having difficulty stablizing her emotions.  My Mom and I both have bipolar disorder.  Mom and I have clashed since I was a child.  I am stable with my meds, most of the time.  I don't think Mom is currently on a mood stablizer, just an antidepressant.  Mom has some really twisted thinking sometime, and it really upsets me a great deal, most of the time.  

The thing that helps me is regular psychotherapy, and frequent visits to my psychiatrist.  I hope your daughter has both in her life.

Hugs,
Trish

Vickie hugs my friend. Please know your daughter doesn't hate you. Bipolar is a disease and it's the disease talking when she screams and yells at you. Hopefully she will get on the right meds.
People don't understand when we are dealing with mental health issues it causes the whole family/friends to be in an uproar. Concentrate on Benny and just step back from Christie but don't give up on her. You could petition the courts to admit her in a Behavior Health Unit if needed. That's hard to do. Hang in there, I do know your pain. Benny needs you! Love, Debbie

Hello Monica and OFF,

     Monica: I am so proud of you too. You are doing a great job.
Yes, We who believe must keep Jesus as the reason for the season. Where would I be if not for the Lord?

     Karen: Glad you were able to get some better sleep.
     Vicki: I am so sorry things are not good at home.

    

 Good morning Monica and everyone.....

Monica....I can feel your pain....I can't remember a day without pain. I hope you can find an answer for yours! I think a lot of my pain is stress related. My moods are all over too..UGH!
Sounds like Yoda is enjoying the gifts already...LOL
403 days...I am so proud and happy for you!

Nan....I am so happy that you are feeling somewhat better. Enjoy the movie!!  Still sending up prayers for you and Morgan!!

Margo and Susan...still praying for both of you too!

Karen...glad you are finally are feeling better. YAY the med change is working out well for you!

Vickie...so sorry you are having to deal with all this It is just not right. Poor little Benny having to deal with all that drama from his mom.
I hope you can find some much needed comfort and time away. Funny how I can say this to you yet I can't do it myself. At least I am not suicidal like I was last week.

I am doing okay...not great but I am still here. I have headaches and pain all the time. Now I have been getting dizzy spells and shaky...if it continues I will have to contact my doctor.

Wishing you all a good day. Still keeping you in my prayers.

Love and hugs to all....connie d

 Hi Monica and OFF Family,
Sorry I am late to posting.  I had an 8:30 gyn appointment, then I had to scoot to the bank, and to the Salvation Army to drop off a box of stuff.  Then, to the podiatrist for a follow up on my surgery.  I got the clearance to wear sneakers, and they don't hurt.  

Last night, I made a yummy pot of beef vegetable soup.  Gave some of it to a friend who had arm surgery and can't cook.  

I started wrapping presents for family last night.  I have some more to wrap.  I also must finish the bedspread for my granddaughter.  It is getting big, but not big enough.  

Tonight I have group therapy.  I am thinking of dropping out, because it conflicts with my Bible study.  I am so torn about it.

Have a blessed day.

Hugs,
Trish