Travel Thursday

Good Morning OFF-

Well today is travel day.  My Mom is repacking her suitcase as I type.  I've chosen to let her do it herself so she can overpack.  She says she's having trouble believing that it's going to be warmer in Texas.  I predict battles over the thermostat in my future.

Not much else to report from North Carolina.  We've been to the doctor and run some errands.  Thoughts and hugs going out to all of you as we all work through issues.

Cindi B

Good morning Cindi and my sistas,

Cindi, believe it or not, I woke up thinking about you today and hoping you have good weather and safe travels.  "battles over the thermostat"  Oh yes!  I identify.

So I had a fairly decent day yesterday.  Didn't want to see or talk to anyone, but I turned to my two coping mechanisms and got through the day.  My first coping mechanism is to listen to audiobooks.  I've found that when I listen to books, I don't think much about what's going on in my real life.  Is this a good thing or a bad thing?  I'm not sure.  All I know is it allows me to get through the day--or the night.  

And I started sewing again.  Somehow it's the only productive act I'm capable of right now, but it does help.  Yesterday I cut out and sewed Benny's Christmas pajamas.  Today I'll cut out and sew Budder's jammies.  If I have to "lose myself" in order to survive this holiday season, then that's what I'll do.  

I still haven't put up my tree.  I haven't even hung my new door wreath.  I know I ought to do it.  I just don't seem to care.

Tonight I have to pull myself out of my cave and go to Benny's Christmas program at his school.  I guess that means I have to shower and wash my hair.  Haven't done much of that this week either.

This type of depression is different from anything I've ever been through.  I've been clinically depressed before.  But I'm not fixated on myself.  I don't spend all day thinking about myself or my problems.  It's more I just don't want to feel or care about anything.  I don't want to be HERE.  That doesn't mean I'm suicidal.  It just means I don't want to exist.  Does that make sense?

I don't know.  

Well, enough of my moaning.  I hope everyone else is doing well.  I do read all the posts everyday.  But then I forget what's happening with each of you when I sit down to write.  I'm sorry.  I seem to have lost my capacity to think beyond the moment. 

Just please know that I care.  I appreciate all of you.  I love you all.

Hello Vickie....I am so glad to know you had a better and more peaceful day yesterday. Sewing always seems to calm you. Audio books are a great idea. You can relax and listen!

I am sure Benny's program will be so sweet. He is so darn cute!! I am sure you will have a great time!

Yes, your feelings make sense. That is depression and grieving. There are many kinds of depression. Now please go see your therapist. 

I can't remember what others write that is why most times I reply on their personal posts.

Love you much...HUGS....connie d

Good morning Cindi and everyone...

I hope your mom doesn't take too many sweaters!!! She will love the warmer weather!! I sure would!!!! I agree you probably will have a few thermostat battles. 

I hope all your mom's doctor appointments went well. I am still so happy her pills will be set up for her!

Praying that you will have a safe and uneventful trip to Texas.

As for me..... I am doing okay. Anxious to get to the dentist this afternoon. I want that tooth fixed. It is bugging me!

I am doing nothing else until later this afternoon or evening. I have my decorations sitting on my totes. I am thinking of where I want to put them.  I have somethings I really like too set out, but they must be in another tote.  I will check it out later. I did get the wreath on my door!!!!

I need to have some lunch before I go. I will check in later.

Prayers for our wonderful OFF Family and their families. Special prayers as requested for some.

My friend Mary, we have been friends for about 30 years, called to tell me her mom died. She will be leaving for Philadelphia later today!! Will this ever get better!!! 

Loads of love and oodles of hugs to all.....connie d

Hi Ladies......Just a quick Hello to everyone...I am pooped.  This morning I went to the Food Share to help load boxes and distribute the food.  The boxes were mostly packed....but I had to pack a bag of fruits/veggies for each box:  apples, potatoes, onions, tomatoes, carrots, and parsnips; also packed breads and bagels that were donated.  Then when the clients were arriving, we added another bag of food donated.  I signed up to receive a box once a month.  I was talking to a few of the ladies -- all very nice, but they get frustrated sometimes.  The boxes are heavy and people are told to bring help with them because most of the workers are elderly and cannot help but the people come alone every week and then say the box is too heavy...there are some men helpers but they are busy helping the workers.  But I'm enjoying this very much.  My back started to bother me, but I realized about three-quarters of the way through that I forgot to take my pain medication before going out.....won't forget it again.

When I got home, I went outside and used a reciprocating saw I borrowed from my friend Shirley....I have two trees that were already here when we moved here - they were very small, but now they are getting bigger - they are too close to the mobile home, and they drop too many leaves - plus one is growing through the missing floorboards of a deck that's on the front of the house.  So I trimmed one tree, and will trim the other tree over the weekend.

So I'm going to take my meds, take a hot shower and get into my PJs and relax for the evening...will be going to bed early because I really did too much today.  I'll be busy tomorrow too because I've got to go to the city to pick up my prescription, and go the dump too....

Who thought I'd be so busy....but it's a good feeling .... just have to pace myself.

Prayers and good wishes go all.

Mary  

Hello Mary....I am glad you are helping Food Share. Please be careful with all that carrying. I hate to see you get hurt. It is wonderful what you are doing o help others.

Trimming trees ....wow is there anything you can't do. 

Enjoy the rest of your evening. I am watching a movie and then am off to bed!

Love you...HUGS....connie d

Afternoon OFF family...Well it seems it is MY turn to ask for some Prayers. Had more blood work done yesterday and then today I had to take in a stool sample to see if it had blood in it. YUP. Blood was in it. DAMIT!!!!! So now I am waiting for a call to see the internest and a colonoscopy. Happy happy joy joy...and guess what? I can bet you all this will take place AFTER the first of the year just so I have to pay new deductables!!!!!!!! $1250.00!!!!!!!!! And.....I have to repeat blood work AGAIN in 2 weeks!!!!!!! My stool has NEVER been dark...where are they getting blood in it from? I am UPSET!!!!!!! I told Rick and I called my son and they know...now all of you know. Debating if I should call mom or not. I could just scream!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHY??????????? Why all of a sudden is everything happening to me????????? What did I do wrong???? Besides hate some of my tenants???

Speaking of tenants...another one that used to live here died. WTH is happening this year??? I swear it IS the year of death!!!!!!!!!!!

Vic...you hang in there!!!! It WILL get better!!!! HUGSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Cindi...good luck with your mom and the thermostat!!!! HUGSSSSSSSS

Connie...I have the small fiberoptic tree up and that is it in our apartment...only because Rick put it up. HUGSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Mary....wish I could put my pj's on and relax like you are right now!!! You did GOOD today!!!!! You deserve it!!!!!!!! HUGSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

If I missed anyone I am sorry...CR****s!!!! HUGSSSSSSSSSSSS

Thoughts and Prayers for ALL that need them!!!!

HUGSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Hello Judy.....I am sorry you are having issues with your health.  Don't fret over the blood in your stool. Sometimes it is just caused by something we eat. A colonoscopy will tell them what they need to know. Try not to worry. I just had one....remember they took out precancerous polyps...I will be okay.....so will you. I am praying!!

People are dying all over...it seems like a awful lot lately...I have lost 7 friends and 2 relatives in the last 6 months! That is crazy!!

I put up a very small tree...I decided not to use the three foot tree. It would block the window. I put lots of other things sitting around in all rooms but my bedroom. It looks festive enough for me!! I am going to do my best to get out some Christmas Cards this weekend. I sure don't feel like it...not at all!! This will be the LAST year for cards!! 

Sweet dreams.....love you...HUGS....connie d

Hi Ladies,

I slept in this morning so my schedule is off today. I haven't exercised yet today unless going shopping counts. I got a heavier winter coat at Goodwill and a dressy sweater. Then I went to family Dollar but I didn't buy nothing there. Then went to aldis  to pick up a few groceries that I needed for baking I'm going to do. Then off to CVS to get vitamins and used my 5 dollar coupon and a 3 dollar coupon then off to Walmart  to get my coffee creamer  and stevia then home after I dropped my friend off. Now I'm just relaxing and drinking my fluids then I'll have dinner .

Everyone have a good day  Thoughts and prayers for everyone. 

Love and hugs,

Yvonne

Hello Yvonne.....you had a busy day!!! It sounds like you got some really good deals...way to go!!

I hope you had a peaceful evening and a good nights sleep tonight.

Love you...HUGS...connie d