Saturday last stage of trip

Good morning OFF-

We made it to Mobile yesterday should make it home today. That's weather and bladder allowing.

Im posting from my phone so I won't post much at this point.  More tonight when I arrive home.

vickie I hope you will stick to your resolve and not keep the boys this weekend .  You need time to yourself.  Trish I'm swinging chicken that your pressure sore will resolve and that you will be able to travel.

Thoughts and hugs to all of you.  More later time to drive.

Cindi B

Morning Cindi!!! Safe travels!!!

Well I got the list off the door and wall for the Christmas party last night...no more gifts after I buy today!!!!!!! They can still come to dinner Friday but not get a gift!!! I am done shopping after today!!!

Got my hair colored this morning...gray all gone!!! Finally!!!! Now to make up my mind if I want to cut it or grow it out. Hmmmmm

Bingo tonight. Wonder if I will win tonight. Hope so!! Tired of NOT winning!!!

Lots to do today so best get my butt into gear!!!

Thoughts and Prayers for ALL that need them!!!

HUGSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Hello Judy.....good for you...you need to take charge and set them straight!!! 

You got your hair done...lucky you. I have just not had the energy to get mine even trimmed. I only have highlights. The only gray hair I have is a dab about the size of a nickel at each temple. With highlights I don't need to have it colored so often.

GOOD LUCK at BINGO tonight!! I am praying you win BIG!! 

I am only resting today. When my pain easies up I may start working on getting Christmas Cards written out. 

Have a great evening....love you ...hugs...connie d

Good morning sistas,

Everything has gone to hell here. We are in full out bipolar mode.  Chris is off the wall furious at me.  Carrie is here, in tears, trying to play moderator.  I just want to walk away from everyone and hide.  It's horrible.

I can't yet talk about it all.  No point to it anyway.  It just takes one little thing to set the ball rolling and before you know it, our entire family is torn into emotional pieces.  I don't know how to fix it.  I've never known how to fix it.  

God, I miss my husband.  

So I am getting my day off, but at such a huge price.  It's not worth it.  I should have kept my mouth shut.  

I really can't talk about it anymore.  Thanks to those who have sent Christmas cards.  Mine are going in the mail today.

Love you all.

Sweet Vickie,

Sorry you are in the middle of such an emotional mess.  You can't fix anything where either of your girls are concerned.  Christie is responsible for not taking responsibility for her mental illness.  Carrie is pregnant, and will be emotional, especially seeing the people she loves in pain.  Setting healthy boundaries is so hard, and yet, could help in the long run.  Turn off your phone, take out your sewing machine, and do some fabric therapy.  Turn on some soothing music, and just escape.  You need a mental health day.  If the weather is right, take a walk, or go for a ride, with Carrie, to see how people decorate for Christmas this evening.  Take care of you.

Of course you miss Butch.  It's going to hurt.  But, you need to keep putting taking care of yourself as your first priority.

Hugs

I am trying to put myself first, but it's making my whole family go bonkers!  They are in absolute rebellion against the idea that MOM might need to be quiet and reclusive this year.  Carrie is trying to accommodate me a bit, but even she is being thrown for a loop by the idea that I might not be up to my usual cheerful holiday self.  They all expect me to be business as usual.  Decorate the house, put up the tree, cook a bunch of treats and goodies, BE CHEERFUL.  Bah.

As for Chris, she's just twisted off.  It's been a long time since she's done that, but when she does, it's always horrible and spectacular.  And gut wrenching.  And painful.  And she drags the whole family through hell.

I'm not denying I had a part in it.  I'm not my usual self.  I'm not up to dealing with her, or handling her with kid gloves, or talking her down from her crazy.  So my lack of gingerly tiptoeing around her and placating her (like I usually do), really blew up in my face.  She feels like I've wronged her (some of which is true), and she will own up to no part of her own contribution to this mess.  

I tell you, I would not wish a child with a mental illness on ANYONE.  EVER.  

Oh, well.  I can't take yesterday back.  I can't change what I said or did or didn't do.  I have apologized for my part in it.  All I can do now is wait for her to cool down and be in a mental state to listen.

Thanks, Trish.

Vic,

I hate to know that you are going through this with your daughter. I know how awful it is when we have family members, daughters, who cannot function on an even plane all the time.  When they go manic, they get into so much trouble and when they get depressed, they want to make everyone around them miserable.  My daughter and I are still not speaking and it is for the same reason as you expressed with not wanting to walk around on eggshells or put out her fires...treat her with kid gloves. Honestly, there just comes a point in our lives where we just cannot do it. I hate that my daughter and I are not speaking but I don't have to take her insults or pick up the pieces when she doesn't pay the gas bill or when she hasn't paid her car payment. I hate that your grandsons and my grandchildren have to live in that environment and you and I both know that we are the grounding force for them.  

I know that you need more time to get through the grieving process and it is hard for you especially through the holidays and I hope your daughters and your mother recognize that you cannot take care of them until you are in a better place emotionally...and if they are not giving you that, you need to put your foot down and make them get it. Is there any way that you can take a little break...maybe go for a weekend get away?  I really worry that you are taking care of everyone but you...and you need to stop that right now.  Come to AR...we will go hunt diamonds...or mine for crystals.  

Well, Jeannie, the irony is that all I really wanted was one weekend off.  Just one.  I knew I needed a break.  I told Chris I needed a break.  LAST WEEK.  I gave her plenty of notice.  She just refused to accept that.

I'm perfectly willing and ready to help with the boys for the week before Christmas and the week after.  I just wanted this one weekend OFF just for me.  

Apparently that was too selfish of me.  Well, I've got my weekend off, but I sure have paid one hell of a price for it.  Sigh.

You and I should write a book together.  A survival guide.

You know, one time Butch and I did take a vacation to Arkansas and I wanted to go hunt for diamonds.  So we did go there.  Holy Moly.  It was hot, and it was rocky and hard and dirty, and frankly, I didn't last very long.  I know my sweet husband was laughing at me, but he very kindly did it behind my back and not to my face!  (Of course, one time I went with him to Colorado to pan for gold.  I was the one laughing that time.)

I hope you and your daughter can come to speaking terms before Christmas gets here.  Thanks, pal.

Hello Trish...I hope you are having a good day. How are you doing? Is the wound any better?

I agree with your post to Vickie. Chris needs help. Setting those boundaries are hard to do.....TOUGH LOVE! I am praying!

Have a restful evening....love and hugs.....connie d

Hello Vickie....I am so sorry that things are this bad right now and at the holidays no less. Christie should be in the hospital until she can get her self back in control. I am so sorry! 

I am here for you...I love you....hugs for all of you.....connie d