on 4/4/16 4:48 am
Good Morning Ladies!
I am up early in my effort to get Jazz off to school. She refuses to get up...a frequently occurring event! Ugh! I told Jim we will let her sleep, but when she gets up she will NOT go to school and will suffer several consequences. We have been dealing with this for years and have had a screaming match almost every morning as she decides to rise 5 minutes before the bus gets here. She then tries to get out the door without brushing her teeth, an appropriate coat or shoes, and when told she is not leaving until she takes care of these things the screaming escalates. Jim has dealt with it solely the last 3 months, and it makes for such a horrible start to the day.
I am at my wits end with the screaming and back talk. I know it is typical of a 14 year old, but I never had the patience for it. My 3 were not angels, but they were not so darn disrespectful. Anyhow, rant over!
I am on the computer to job hunt & fill out applications. One place once 12 freakin' references. I had to contact some folks I have not been in touch with for years to ask if they could help me out. I have money coming in this month and had put away some savings, but I don't want to be unemployed for too long. THIS summer I want to do at least one or two trips in addition to getting to the beach for the day as often as possible. So the search is on!
I read the posts the past few days even though a lot of us seem to be busy elsewhere.
Vickie, I feel so bad for you being in the spot you're in. While I agree your mom needs to go to another suitable housing situation it must break your heart to have to consider this despite the stress she brings into your life. People told me for months to put my dad in a nursing home when his dementia became a 24-7 job, but I loved him to death & felt I owed it to him to take care of him the way he took care of me. But it had to be done, and eventually I did it. The stress was driving me towards a breakdown.
Jazz had just been born & her mom and her were also living with us so I can relate to the 'sandwich' you're in. I just could NOT balance all the roles in my own home at one time. And I knew from being a counselor and being IN counseling if I didn't take care of ME I really couldn't take care of anyone else. You're deep in the mix now so you may not even realize how much this if affecting you. I know you had an agreement to watch Caralee, and I do think society expects mothers to go back to work and put babies into daycare too soon these days. I think the first 3-6 months are very important for bonding and recovering and everyone getting used to their new roles. My opinion on watching Caralee is that on a short-term basis it is fine, but after that Carrie should get other resources into place so you are not the primary. Especially given the distance.
Just my two cents. Love you & best of luck! You'll get thru this...just some tough choices!
Jeannie, I am praying for both you & Kenny today as he goes thru surgery. I know how hard it is when your spouse is very sick. You, too, have had a lot on you the past several months, but your inner strength and wonderful sense of humor will pull you thru. Your trip sounded wonderful with the exception of the breathing episode in CO.
Judy, I agree with Jeannie about your Rick's family. I don't know if I could host ppl in my own home who are so rude and disrespectful, but that is one of those fine lines you walk in relationships with a spouse. I know if you put your foot down it could cause problems between you and Rick. It'd be nice if you could find a compromise because it seems they visit fairly often. Maybe you could deal with it once or twice a year, but any other visits would need to be at a hotel...
Connie, hang in there...sunshine is on the way and your increased meds should work wonders! Here's to hoping you feel tons better!
Yvonne, glad you got over your bug and got to celebrate your dad's birthday. Sure wish mine was still around to celebrate with.
Cindi B. & Cindy P...thinking of you two along with our other ladies who are busy and not posting.
Trish, also hope you are feeling better today!
Well, off to cyber job hunting! Wish me luck!
Kathy and Ladies,
I hope your day today is productive.
We are getting ready to head to the hospital. Kenny is upset because when I was in Denver last week, he received some forms from the hospital that he failed to open and they were his registration papers. I told him it will be fine; we will get there early enough to do the paper work but he thinks they will cancel his surgery. They won't do that.
Kathy, my daughter was so hard to get up and get off to school. I tried everything and she never did grow out of it. By the time she was a senior, it became shouting matches. I will say that when she was younger, I made her go to bed at 8 pm and would not let her have the phone, a tv, any games and I only left a night light in her room. I told her after a few weeks of going to bed at 8, we would try to give her a more age appropriate bed time, provided she respond appropriately when I wake her in the mornings. The 8 PM no phone, no TV, no games would get her back on track for a few months and then she would relapse. Kids today have so many things that distract them from bedtime. My granddaughter wanted to keep her little iPad touch in bed with her so she could listen to music and play games and I said no...the bed is for sleeping. Teenage years, for most girls, are horrible. I wouldn't go back through those years with my daughter for all the money in the world. I know you are pushed by her and sometimes it is better to just her mess up and learn her lesson. Sadly, teens don't learn their lessons; they think they won. LOL.
Julia, Julia, Julia....come out; come out; wherever you are. I miss Julia.
Well, ladies, I need to get my things I am taking to the hospital together. My silly husband said, I cannot have one sip of coffee? I said,nope...not a sip of coffee nor a sip of water...no bite of eggs, no oatmeal...nothing. He is greatly sad.
I will check back later today and I am hoping to have some very good news to share and if it is bad news, it won't be devastatingly bad.
Good morning Kathy and all my sistas,
Kathy, I just love your posts. You bring such wisdom and insight and common sense to our board. Listen, honey, I understand completely about what you're dealing with with Jazz right now. Been there. I sometimes despaired of ever getting my two teenaged girls up and out the door during high school. They were awful and yes--it makes an awful stressful morning. When they were late for school, they got detention. That made them mad at ME! "Mother, why didn't you get me up on time?" LOL! It's not very funny when you're going through it. For what it's worth, I think letting her suffer the consequences of her behavior is the right thing to do--although I suspect it's not going to be a very pleasant experience for any of you. Hang in there, hon! And don't let her get away with that back talk and sass.
As for me and my situation with Mom, it has its good moments. She is loving being here and being part of Caralee's first months. She loves holding the baby and talking to her. I don't want to take that away from her. And she's quite helpful to me when I need to get something done and she takes the baby into her sitting room to rock and cuddle. I think we will just let things rock along for awhile. I'm about to get the dog situation under control. That will ease up some of the tension.
As far as keeping the baby goes, I really do want to do this--for awhile at least. I don't believe in daycare for infants. Mainly because I WORKED in an infant care room at a daycare once, and I saw first-hand how it was. The babies that cried and fussed all the time were the ones that got the attention--and not always good attention either. The babies who were quiet and "good" were ignored for the most part. I don't want that for Caralee. I kept Benny at home until he was 3 years old. I wanted to keep Budder, but health issues for both me and Butch prevented that from happening. So he had to go into day care at age 3 months and I can see the difference between the two of them. Benny is, for the most part, a calm and gentle child. Budder is way more aggressive and more likely to hit or strike out when he doesn't get his way. I blame that on day care. I believe that young children do benefit from social settings like pre-school or Mother's Day Out or Sunday school, but being left in day care from 6:30 in the morning until 5:30 at night is not good for anyone.
I'm not judging. Many times young mothers have no choice about returning to work. I don't feel Carrie has a choice. She MUST finish her degree. She is going into her 6th year of grad school now, and she's worked far too long and far too hard to quit at this point. The few remaining months are going to be very intense for her. I want to help her if I can. I'm just not sure what that "help" is going to look like yet.
Of course, I'm quite fatigued and I'm sorry if I come here and whine about it. It's a stressful time for me. There are many times when I wish I could just be left alone to do my own thing. But my family is my life. In my own way, I need them just as much as they need me. I don't need their financial help, and I don't need their physical care--yet. But the day will come when I do. I like to think that the time and care I'm putting into them now will come back to me 10-fold when I need it.
Thinking of and praying for Jeannie and Kenny today. It's going be a long hard day for both of them. Praying for the best possible outcome!
Judy, honey, you are a saint. That is all.
Just a morning update on the dogs:
That big dog is sitting right at the fence line this morning just waiting for my dogs to come out and "play". I'm keeping them IN. I don't trust that electric fence quite yet. And I have to wonder what the yard guys are going to think of that big bull dog! She sure does act threatening to anyone who approaches the fence. (The same service that does my yard, does her yard. Gonna be interesting!)
Maybelle pooped all over the floor again, but we only have one more night with her. I'm going to ask Carrie to take Lulu back to Waco with her--at least as long as my neighbor's daughter's big dog is here. That will just leave me with my dog Patty Kate and her dog Molly here. Molly is a just a big gentle Lab and no trouble at all (except for the constant shedding, and that's what Roomba is for). I just need to get through about another week of the dog wars, and then things will improve.
Well, I'd better close. My house needs some attention. (To say the least!) And there's laundry to do. (Always.) And I want to take my walk this morning. Doing two miles a day now without much trouble. I want back in ONEDERLAND by the end of this week! Stuck on 202 lbs, but I'm gonna make that scale move if it kills me!
Love you all!
on 4/4/16 9:03 am
Wanted to drop in and say hi.
Kathy, you are a saint. Jazz may be acting out, but my daughter, although she got up early for school, loved and I mean loved to push her limits with me. She loved to mouth off. Only to me and she pushed it and pushed it. The more she was punished, the more she mouthed off. Nice gentle children mostly turn into monsters when they are teens. Not all but many. They love pushing boundaries. It is such a difficult time for them and for parents/grandparents. Jazz will become a young lady one day. I wish you the level best in your job search. Take care of yourself.
Jeannie, you and your husband are in my thoughts also.
Vicki, wow. You do have your plate full. I think it is wonderful that you will be caring for Caralee. If you are up to it, do it. I put my daughter in preschool from the age of 2 till she was in kindergarten. But it was a different time. It was back in the mid 70s. She was so full of energy she would come home all dirty and I would give her a bath as soon as she got home. She was punished at preschool at least once a week for being fresh. You situation with the dogs, mom, everything is wow. Just wow. Take it one day at a time. I agree with you 100% that your daughter needs to finish her degree. She will then be able to be financially stable to help her daughter much better. My daughter had the choice after high school (I was divorced from her stepdad by then) of living rent free in his home and attending college or going out on her own and paying rent. I tried to finish my degree so many times. I let life get in the way. During my second marriage I was attending college at night. My manipulative husband whined abou****ching his stepdaughter who he dearly loved, so I stopped going. When I was on my own, I tried and working full time and being in my mid forties by then and carrying a load of classes caused so much anxiety. I was going thru nursing school. I had to stop, I about had a nervous breakdown from all the stress. Being on one's own is so difficult at times. I did it for over 20 years. OK off the soapbox, but education is so very important. So very important.
Saying hi to Connie and all to come. I think of you ladies and send love and good wishes.
Me? I have started a walking program. That's not easy to do in FL when it starts warming up. It was cool today and I walked as much as I could and I feel so much better. The wedding is coming up in a month and I want to look OK.
I wake up every morning with a headache and sometimes in the middle of the night too. I have wicked sinus issues and have to use a spray and a nasal wash to not be stuffed up and worse. I hate being lightheaded from my sinuses. I am thinking of having an outpatient surgery called Balloon Sinuplasty. As a balloon is inserted into the arteries of the heart to widen it, the same thing is done with the sinus passages. I need relief.
Anyways, everyone have a great day, don't sweat the small stuff.
Kathy...they wanted to stay at a hotel/motel...but the CHEAP ones around here have been known to have bedbugs...and no way will I let them come back here to visit if they stayed there!!!!!!!!!! NO WAY IN HELL!!!!!!!!!!!
Have you tried setting her clock an hour AHEAD?? Maybe that might help get her up?? Or do what they do around here...call the police on them!! That seems to do the trick!!! Good luck!!
Evening OFF family...well I THINK my tenant passed away...not sure yet because nobody has told me yet...but I did see the hospital bed and things were picked up from the apartment today...and family all left this morning at the same time...so I think she did. Keeping a close eye on the tenant next door to them also because she was not very nice with the family at this time and their taking parking places up. I had a confrontation with her Saturday night and it was not pretty. I was told I did handle it perfectly. I have had it with this tenant and her big mouth. I guess she didn't like what I said to her and she came back with "I guess I will find another place to live then!" Go for it!!!! Do us all a favor!!!!!!!! How dare she come down on these people that are saying their final good-byes? It was a different story when her family and friends stopped by her place when her family passed away and took all the parking places...and her family members were not in her apartment dying!!! She is one person I would be very happy to see leave here!!!!!! And many others would be happy as well!!!!
Well I have two new tenants as of today. WOOHOOO!!! Still have several units to rent yet though. But I am getting there.
Anyone watch The Walking Dead last night? OMG!!!!! I wonder who it was that he killed??? Have to wait til next season to find out!!!! GRRRRRR LOL
Need to go lay down for a little bit...back is hurting. No lunch break and I am hurting.
Thoughts & Prayers for ALL that need them!!!
Judy...just a quick message...I am not feeling well at all.
YES I watched "THE WALKING DEAD". OMGosh...what an ending! I did not expect this at all. I have been reading everything I can about last night's show. Everyone is going crazy trying to figure out who the victim was!!!! So many people think it was Glen. I am not even going to try to guess. It will be a long, long wait!!! I don't miss that show no matter what!!!!
Sorry your tenant is so mean...I really do hope she leaves!!!
Love and many hugs.....connie d
I'm getting here later than ususal. I had fun with my family yesterday. Today I visited my friend at rehab. She still is having a lot of pain. She said it takes forever to get her pain meds. Then my other friend went shopping. I got 4 pair of shorts and a bathing suit for 21 dollars. She came over for supper. Now I trying to catch up on my reading the Sunday paper and Internet readings.
Thoughts and prayers for everyone.
Love and hugs,