itI don't even know where to begin other than I am so frustrated & sad. I posted sometime back on the general discussion but I think those on this board can understand what I'm going through better.
I had Gastric Bypass in 09 and 390pdsI lost about 185pds but I started gaining weight slowly. I creeped to 260 and I had my pouch tighten back up. I am back to 320pds or so..I haven't weighed myself for a while. I am so disgusted, sad and disappointed in myself.
When I was dropping weight from the initial surgery..I was eating right & exercising. I felt on top of the world. Before I knew it..I completely let myself go. I told myself after the weight loss that I'd never go back to that starting weight. Literally, every day I go through this "today is the day and I'm going to start over." It never seems to work out by the end of that day. Now, don't get me wrong..there are still certain foods that I can't eat. I will throw up but boy, the foods that I can eat go down real well. I am a binge and closet eater.
I am bipolar 2 but it is better controlled now. I do have a psychiatrist. I've seen my surgeon countless times and a dietian. I don't know what else to do at this point. I'm not the person to be afraid to ask for help.. I am running out of resources & options. I know it takes diet & fitness to make this wrong. I really understand all that.
I live in Wisconsin and I have BadgerCare. My HMO is Managed Health Services. I've called my HMO and not only does my surgeons office accept this HMO..my HMO doesn't make it easy to have certain things like weight loss options available without it being life or death.
Thanks for letting me vent. I hope someone out there is able to relate to me and myexperiences.
Pleaes dont hate yourself, self loathing fices nothing, but take responsibilities for what part you had in this, there is a difference. I know regain after wls is rough, i am at a 25-30 lb i know not the same but still hard. i dont know have first hand with bipolar disorders, but i think we have food issues and hopefully wls can even the playing field. i dont think there is any surgery that is perfect for everyone, what you are going through is not that uncommon, we all tell ourselves this will never happen again, if is were so easy. sorry to say i think at 320 lbs that is not a good quality of life so fight your HMO.
Of course, I am sad about this whole ordeal but aside from all that..I'm also realitisic in this. I can understand that it comes off more self-loathing but you get to a point like I am..it's hard to be positive these days.
I am so going to fight HMO with by going to my primary doctor and then taking another step to find another weight loss office n such. I'm pretty good at getting what I want in the terms of taking the steps necessary while being assertive. I don't take no for an answer until I've exhausted all revenues. I'm not a quiet or shy girl lol
Thanks for replying. Much appreciated.