probably a dumb question but

if we followed the diet guidelines of someone who had RNY like what we would need to eat after surgery and for the rest of our lives would we lose as much weight if we could actually stick to a diet plan like that, with vitamins etc without actually having the surgery

In theory you would do quite well...think about it.....most of us follow a very low calorie high protein diet for the first several months....many of us continue on a relative low calorie high protein diet to maintain.  IF...and that is one huge IF...you could do this on your own....you would lose weight. 

The very next quesiton is...how long will you be able to maintain that weight loss???  Most of us have lost HUGE amounts of weight....only to regain it.     

If you can do it....mosre power to you

i don't think i could, at least for a long period of time. i just forgot to ask the surgeon that question lol

You wouldn't lose as fast because you would not have malabsorption.

Also, I can't see how you could possibly stick to that diet without actually having the surgery.  You'd be so hungry trying to eat 1/2 cup of food at a time for several months.

I tried to live like a six-months out postop during my six-month supervised diet. I lost 57 pounds over the first three months..... then I flatlined....I got "so far" but no further. Yeah, sure, I droppped my BMI from 60 to 50 but it didn't budge for three and a half months after that. I also don't think I ccould have kept it up without some outside influence (like restriction or dumping)

i thought that too, i also asked my docotor if some =people lose weight during there weight managment stage and they not get the surgery he said some do, because they want to keep trying to lose more themselves...this isent the case for me..i know i can lose the weight...its keeping it off that i can't do.

Early out the malabsorption aids in the weight loss so I would assume that if someone without malabsorption were to eat the same exact things as someone with malabsorption they would not lose as much weight. But after a while, 1 or 2 years, the malabsorption will go away and it's a level playing field.
I have lost all my excess weight before surgery and kept it off for a time but obviously not very long or I wouldn't have wound up needing WLS.
The surgery gives you help by reducing your capacity for food but it won't work by it's self. You still need to eat better and less.
If you think you have one more diet left in you then it's probably not a good idea to go through surgery if you have any doubts. Give it your best shot. Either it will work and you will have saved yourself a lot of pain and permanent changes in your body or it won't work and you will know you are doing what you have to do.

I do not think so.  I think the surgery somehow changes our body response to foods.  
I have been on so many diets ,,, lost so much weight ... only to put it back.
Why this time is different? I think because how my body processes food is different,  Some foods - even ifI want to eat them - I can't.  Too much pain and discomfort. I do not think that will ever go away.  And my new anatomy does not allow me to eat as much as I could eat before RNY. 

Most people can't hang with it or they lsoe and gain it all back and then some....here's one person who made a big stink about doing it all on her own and hasn't been heard from since. She gave her friend who was getting RNY a hard time and said she could do it alone without the surgery.
When you have RNY the part of your stomach that contains Genlin stays in the part you won't  be using. Grenlin is what makes you hungry. Now without the grenlin you have little or no appetite. I guess some can do it, but either way it is a complete lifestyle change. http://fatfamous.blogspot.com/