Second guessing my decision

I just talked to my surgeon's office today and they are faxing in my preauthorization this morning.  I'm sure it's normal, but I'm second guessing my decision to have Roux en Y.  

My biggest deciding factor for Roux en Y was that I am the world's biggest sweet-tooth addict.  I can eat a whole birthday cake in 3 days and not think twice about it.  I chose Roux en Y over Lap Band because of this.... but now I'm worried that I won't be able to eat even a small piece of my son's birthday cake (he's 3).  

I've also been doubting my support system because my mom and dad say I should get banded instead.  They think I should try it first and if it doesn't work, go for the actual bypass.  

I am so confused and worried I'm making the wrong decision.   

Please help!!!  Share your thoughts with me.... and tell me if I'm normal by doubting my decision at this point.  

Take a deep breath.  I think we all had this thought.  For me, RNY saved my life.  I really believe that.  Put your mind at ease.  My grandson just had his 3rd birthday and I had a sliver of cake.  I didn't die from it.  The first 6 months are when you will see the big dramatic weightloss.  After that it slows down.  You will want to really mindful of what you put into your mouth but honey, I eat anything I want (low in sugar cuz I'm a dumper) so my life hasn't really changed all that much.  This is a lifestyle change not a "lifelong diet."

 I love food... hence why I'm 236 pounds.  I'm not happy with the way I look and with how I've let go of myself.  

I keep telling myself that I need surgery to stop me from putting all the high fat and sugary foods into my mouth.

Thank you for your advice.  Reading everyone's posts is really a big help!!  

A tiny sliverr a bite of cake wont' make you dump, but I would say that you should plan on leaving the cake for his fifth or sixth birthday party. Half the success of this surgery is the FEAR of dumping , since only 30 % dump.

I honestly, truly, would NEVER get banded. If I had a choice between being paid to be banded and remaining fat..... I'd remain fat. As a surgery it is considered a success if you have 40% of your excess off at 5 years. If you get 25% off in a year, you're considered successful.

Surgery is risky...... don't go with the band, as the probabillity of complications requiring surgery is very high, and every surgery you have puts your life in jeapardy.

Will they disown you if you get the RNY? Or will they just disapprovve...... if they will disapprove, then you should just muddle on through.
 
Check out THIS GROUP for more info on failed bands

No, they wouldn't disown me, but it's one of those things where you want to make your parents happy, ya know?  I thought maybe I should try the band and then I think about the maintenance and it's a major turnoff.  But I also know that this surgery is high maintenance also... just a different kind.  
Thank you!!  I value your advice and opnions!

My cousin had the band and they are soo many failures with it. Alot of pain, alot of maintenance. Why put yourself thru all that and then have to have rny.? Just saying......... Good luck with your decision.

There are many thing you second guess about on this journey but eating cake should not be one fo them, you can have cake but make one from the recipe site on here that allows you to have your cake but not the sugar and fats along with it, I had a band 11 years ago it didnt work it is for people who dont have much to loose I had it removed and RNY on April 5th this year and it was a breeze and much easier than the band for me, everyone has fears and second guesses but chin up and think about this if you dont do something you wont loose weight and then you wont ever get to eat cake cuz you will eat yourself to something worse. Not trying to upset you or anything just telling you how it is I hope you dont back out and think about being with your son longer and healthier, cake wont break you come onnn chin up smile and kick ass lol

I doubted my decision up until the morning of surgery. Once I was at the hospital, though, I was calm and relaxed.

I can tell you that you will not be eating birthday cake for awhile and you probably have to be ok with that, or ok with eating it and getting sick and/or throwing up. There is no question that your relationship with food will change and change greatly and you won't be eating almost everything you used to, at least for the first few months. Its hard. A sacrifice.

That said, a few weeks off sweets and you will lose your craving for them. I was a huge sweet tooth - ice cream every night, candy bars in between lunch and dinner, etc., and it doesn't even cross my mind now. Also, the weight you are losing is so motivating that you lose sight of things like that. You are so happy to be fitting into smaller sizes and the changes in your body that you are ok with it.

Good luck whatever you decide. I wouldn't go back for the world. This is absolutely the best thing I have ever done for myself and I am barely halfway to my goal at this time.

i was condsidering the band at first too...but then when i looked at all the problems and complicatioins that have risen up, i asked myself, would i want to go thru another surgery to get the bypass if the band did not work....my answer was, why take the chance of having to have 2 surgeries, 2 recoveries, and all that entails with that.....i just did not want to take the chance of that, plus i wanted to be off my high blood pressure medicines, my diabetes medicines, and they found a hitial hernia and fixed that so now no more acid reflux..so that was the extra bonus..i was taken off my diabetes medicine while still in the hospital the day after surgery, i was taken off my high blood pressure medicine with in a week of being home...so i have met all those goals with in a week of surgery....i am just 6 weeks out and have had no problems with anything, no pain, my incisions were healed and i was cleared to get in the pool at my 2 week drs appt...those itching were not fun..my only complaint that i have is i have one major bout of constipation, and am working thru that to make sure i go every day, and make sure it is nice and soft..that is what is on my mind most days, plus getting into a nice routine with vitamins and such...

hope this was helpful
have a great day
debby

 The reason I knew I was ready to have RNY is because after being a sugar addict all my life I was ready to never have sugar again. I don't even tempt myself with sugar free substitutes. You need to be mentally/emotionally prepared for a lifestyle change otherwise you will be battling the sugar beast for the rest of your life. I hope you make the best decision for yourself because in the end you have to live with it.