Don't get me wrong, I am SUPER proud of myself for almost having lost 400 pounds... however when I see someone I haven't seen in forever their reactions are... well disturbing.  I KNOW I must have looked like a walking beach ball, but these are people who love me. Their reactions are almost hurtful.  I know they do not intend for this to be, and they want to rejoice with me, however sometimes I want to run away in the middle of an exclamation of how I am looking now.  

It is really weird.  On one hand I am proud and want to show off my new body.  Its that other hand that I can't quite figure out.  It's almost like embarassment.  

Anyone else have these weird feelings?

-Sarah

I think we all have weirdness in one way or another. Two of my closer friends made comments that I received with mixed feelings. One said "so how much have you lost so far? 30lbs?" the other said she needs to see a before picture of me because I look the same. Both comments imply that I wasn't perceive as "that big" by them, BUT I have lost an entire 100lbs!!! How can they not notice?

WOW!!!  Congrats on really incredible weight loss!!!  You must look incredibly different -- so the weird reaction.  Also, it's hard to visualize 400lbs.... either added or subtracted.  People are probably shocked that you weighed that much to start with.

Even at 115lbs lost, I get weird reactions - and it can be embarassing -- so I imagine your issue is the same, but amplified. 

I often think it was easier to be un-noticed.

Congrats again -
Laura

WOW congrats first off. I can definitely relate cause most knew me as a happy fatty.. and now Im in a LOOSE size 2 SADFACE. It's like they mean well but to keep hearing "you look good but you can stop losing weight now" gets on my nerves as well as Im well aware of the 170 drop. I can only imagine losing close to 400 the amazing difference peeps may have.

400 lbs is amazing!!! You are super proud and you KNOW that these people are also and "want to rejoice with me" so let them. What you have done is amazing and shocking (in a great way). Rejoice together. Like you said they are people who love you and mean you no harm. They are just very proud of you also. It will get easier to accept praise. Open your heart and allow it in and know that you are worthy of it.
Sorry to get all Dr. Phil on ya. LOL

I'm pre-op but I have delt with this before after major weight loss. I know that people mean well, they really do. I guess it just always made me feel sort of sad and angry when they would fawn over my weight loss. My feeling was always, "I'm the same person. I'm not "better" now, only "thinner." I guess in our culture obesity carries stigma and judgement so, when we lose weight people see us as "normal" even though we're exactly the same person. In some ways, I guess it just highlighted all the silent judgement and criticism that was always lurking regarding my obesity. I also need to remind myself that I'm not a "better" person just a thinner one so these deep-seated concepts about what obesity represents don't rob me of feeling like a complete person while I'm big and later, when I'm smaller. Either way, eventually they will all forget that you were once very large and no one will ever comment again. Congrats on your super loss! You're inspiring. :)

Great response, Kim.

I think you're exactly right. It's tied into the same mind-set that says weight loss surgery is cheating. It's from the idea that obese people are morally wrong. Wrong for being unattractive, and lazy, and for having no self-control, which by the way means they're childish, and greedy and weak, and etc., etc. And of course the judgment must be then followed by sentencing. You must suffer to atone for your sin, if you want to redeem yourself and become part of normal society. You must sweat, and suffer, and ache, and deny, and abstain, and pay.
... You had surgery?
You cheated. You were bad, and didn't pay the price.
And that's one of the reasons I never, ever hid what I was doing once I decided to have the surgery. I'm not buying into the shame. I can't stop people who want to judge me, but I won't validate their asinine judgments about "cheating" by hiding what I did to resolve my obesity and become healthier.
I know that's a big part of the awkwardness for me. When someone's so over-the-top pleased that I've lost the weight, I'm sorry, what's left implied but unspoken is that I was some kind of tragic figure before, and honestly, I never felt that way. Everything that makes me me is still here, still the same, so why am I so all-fired awesome now compared to before? It almost feels like a confirmation of all my worst fears from the past about the way others viewed see me. They really were judging me... And now they're sooo relieved for me, because now I'm "normal".
And it seems like it's the same people over and over who can't stop asking me "how much weight have you lost now?", all excited, like I'm going for some kind of record, with a trophy and a book deal at the end *** I just came over to your office to pick up the monthly reports and I was just in here ten days ago. Do we really have to do this again?)

*sigh*

"Yes...Thanks... No, I still feel fine. Thanks, you look great too.... Yep, a little over a hundred... Yup. Thanks."
And of course it's not complete without hearing at the door, "Well, keep up the good work!"

I didn't do all this hoping for your approval, please spare me the patronizing pats on the head. I am not your freaking lapdog, ok?

(... Well, um... maybe I should go read some uplifiting thoughts before I head over to the main office today, huh?)

Good post, anyway.

Like you reading my feelings back to me........I am saving this post..........

I had never thought of it that way, but I think you're right about the way "normal" people view obesity. 

I choose to believe that the people who are excited for my weight loss are excited because I'm a healthier person.  Makes me feel better, regardless of the truth.