How do you deal with crushes?
I've been obese my whole life. Up to this point I've always thought I was to ugly to have a guy, besides my husband of 12 years, think I was pretty.
My mother informed me on Sunday that I was making our new priest feel "uncomfortable" when I removed my sweater and was wearing a lose tank top. I wasn't even talking with him. I had a major hot flash after drinking a cup of hot caffeinated coffee.
I'm in the process of applying to be his administrative assistant, because he strongly urged me to apply. I can use the money and would love the job. This morning I spoke with my husband about the whole situation and he said to go ahead and apply. Smiled, and said my Mom is not always right. Didn't know whether to take that as a good or bad thing. *L*
I'd have no problem with the whole situation if he was a 40+ year old, ugly priest but he is a very nice, outgoing, handsome, 30-something. Ughhhh...
How do you deal with your new body and how you interact with the opposite sex? So lost...
My mother informed me on Sunday that I was making our new priest feel "uncomfortable" when I removed my sweater and was wearing a lose tank top. I wasn't even talking with him. I had a major hot flash after drinking a cup of hot caffeinated coffee.
I'm in the process of applying to be his administrative assistant, because he strongly urged me to apply. I can use the money and would love the job. This morning I spoke with my husband about the whole situation and he said to go ahead and apply. Smiled, and said my Mom is not always right. Didn't know whether to take that as a good or bad thing. *L*
I'd have no problem with the whole situation if he was a 40+ year old, ugly priest but he is a very nice, outgoing, handsome, 30-something. Ughhhh...
How do you deal with your new body and how you interact with the opposite sex? So lost...
Pre-op 260.8#...Surgery 242#...Current 190#...Lowest 166#...Goal 155.8#
Um...forgive me for saying so but your priests reaction seems highly inappropriate to me.
YOU are not making him uncomfortable. His vow of celibacy (if you are Catholic) may be, but you are doing and have done nothing wrong. So that just stuck out as a red flag to me.
So far as crushes, I will say it takes some getting used to. I personally am sort of an AW (attention ***** pardon my French) so it doesn't bother me all that much. I love to be looked at and sort of "get into character" with it. For the rest of the population (read: sane people) it can be quite unnerving.
For this situation, I might, if I were you, rethink wanting to work for this priest. It just doesn't seem like a good set up. I mean every time you wear something he thinks is suggestive, are you going to have to deal with that? I don't care how young or cute he is, professionalism is professionalism.
That's just my two cents.
YOU are not making him uncomfortable. His vow of celibacy (if you are Catholic) may be, but you are doing and have done nothing wrong. So that just stuck out as a red flag to me.
So far as crushes, I will say it takes some getting used to. I personally am sort of an AW (attention ***** pardon my French) so it doesn't bother me all that much. I love to be looked at and sort of "get into character" with it. For the rest of the population (read: sane people) it can be quite unnerving.
For this situation, I might, if I were you, rethink wanting to work for this priest. It just doesn't seem like a good set up. I mean every time you wear something he thinks is suggestive, are you going to have to deal with that? I don't care how young or cute he is, professionalism is professionalism.
That's just my two cents.
Thanks Nik! Even priests are men and have to struggle with their desires. I just wish we were all that strong with our convictions. 
The position is part-time and half of that I would be working from home and the other in my own office. So, I'd only be around him 1 day a week.
It's amazing now to see how I've always used my fat as an emotional blanket.
The position is part-time and half of that I would be working from home and the other in my own office. So, I'd only be around him 1 day a week.
It's amazing now to see how I've always used my fat as an emotional blanket.
Pre-op 260.8#...Surgery 242#...Current 190#...Lowest 166#...Goal 155.8#
How does your mom know he was uncomfortable? Perhaps, SHE was uncomfortable.
DH and I have a very open relationship (not open, open. LIL) and we have discussed crushes. We feel that it is natural to have crushes. But acting on them is a deal breaker. I think that losing a lot of weight you are going to get more attention, but you must remain grounded and remember who was there for you the whole time.
Do YOU feel like taking this job will put you in an uncomfortable situation? If not, I say go for it. He is a priest and he has to deal with his vow. I'm sure you are not the first woman he has been attracted to. (I don't mean that to be snarky in any way.) You didnt take the vow, he did.
DH and I have a very open relationship (not open, open. LIL) and we have discussed crushes. We feel that it is natural to have crushes. But acting on them is a deal breaker. I think that losing a lot of weight you are going to get more attention, but you must remain grounded and remember who was there for you the whole time.
Do YOU feel like taking this job will put you in an uncomfortable situation? If not, I say go for it. He is a priest and he has to deal with his vow. I'm sure you are not the first woman he has been attracted to. (I don't mean that to be snarky in any way.) You didnt take the vow, he did.
**SHELLY** HW: 316 SW: 256 GW: 125 CW: 118
maybe he was sending you a message thru your mom that if you are going to work there you should dress more modestly.
You are right that we (men ) all struggle with out eyes. Our lovely sisters in Christ should recognize this weakness in us and have mercy on us by not flashing so much flesh.
Don't get me wrong, I love to see a pretty woman as much as the next guy, but some women come to church dressed in a way that makes it hard to concentrate. I'm not saying a burka, but my wife has our daughters go back and put a t-shirt on under the tank top before church.
There are ways to dress for clubs, for picnics, and for church. They are all different.
just my 2 cents FWIW
You are right that we (men ) all struggle with out eyes. Our lovely sisters in Christ should recognize this weakness in us and have mercy on us by not flashing so much flesh.
Don't get me wrong, I love to see a pretty woman as much as the next guy, but some women come to church dressed in a way that makes it hard to concentrate. I'm not saying a burka, but my wife has our daughters go back and put a t-shirt on under the tank top before church.
There are ways to dress for clubs, for picnics, and for church. They are all different.
just my 2 cents FWIW
how does your MOTHER know the priest was uncomfortable?
removing a sweater and having a sleeveleess shell on underneath should NOT make him uncomfortable... especially since YOU don't see him that way....
BTW 40+ men are hot..... age has nothing to do with it....
I just treat men like i treat women... like PEOPLE....
removing a sweater and having a sleeveleess shell on underneath should NOT make him uncomfortable... especially since YOU don't see him that way....
BTW 40+ men are hot..... age has nothing to do with it....
I just treat men like i treat women... like PEOPLE....
Nessa
Ticker is from Day of Surgery.. weight goal is personal preference as I've MET my doctor's goal
--
HG/SW/CW/GW
286/253/150/151
Ticker is from Day of Surgery.. weight goal is personal preference as I've MET my doctor's goal
--
HG/SW/CW/GW
286/253/150/151
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