Need some support

T V.
on 9/22/11 6:02 am

This has nothing to do with my surgery. My husband and I have split up. We worked together, so now I don't have a job either. I have had some depression since the surgery, but now all I can do is cry. How do I make it through this?

Eliza55
on 9/22/11 6:05 am - PA

RNY on 08/11/11

It is very difficult to deal with such life changes while dealing with the physiological changes from your surgery. I suggest that you find a therapist who has experience with weight loss patients, and discuss you issues with the threapist. Perhaps you may need to be on an antidepressant to get you through this rocky time, but you will need someone who can help with coping skills.

Take care

Eliza

Consult:239 SW:217 1mo:195 2mo:182 3mo:169 6mo:139 9mo GOAL CW: +2 from underweight

poet_kelly
on 9/22/11 6:24 am - OH

RNY on 11/04/08

Oh, I'm sorry. I think it is going to be hard.

I think when something like this happen, we have to take it one step at a time. It's OK if you don't know how you're going to make it all the way through this. You just need to figure out what to do to make it through today.

Get all the support you can. You've already started by posting here. This is the time to lean on the people that love you. Getting a professional therapist is probably a good idea for anyone going through a divorce. Are you on meds for your depression? If not, what do you think about talking to your doctor to see if that might help?

How are you doing financially without a job now? Do you have enough money for your rent and groceries and stuff?

Kelly

Please note: I AM NOT A DOCTOR. If you want medical advice, talk to your doctor. Whatever I post, there is probably some surgeon or other health care provider somewhere that disagrees with me. If you want to know what your surgeon thinks, then ask him or her. Check out my blog.

T V.
on 9/22/11 6:31 am

RNY on 07/07/11

Thanks Kelly. I am ok financially for the time being. In a few weeks is when that will be a problem. The biggest issue right now is all the hurt and pain.

poet_kelly
on 9/22/11 7:55 am - OH

RNY on 11/04/08

OK, I'm glad at least you don't have to worry about that right this minute.

What are you doing to take care of yoruself?

Kelly

chicuelagirl
on 9/22/11 8:58 am

I can only tell you one thing....you will get better and yes life will go on. Things happen for a reason and u need ton focus on yourself and getting better. Look for professional help like others suggested, if you are close to your family look for them, keep yourself busy, remind yourself that you deserved better and don't blame youself for what happened. I divorced my ex a few years ago had nothing to my name didn't work because he was the sole bread winner. I was depressed but didn't let my depression take over my life. I stayed positive and relied on friends and family for emotional support.

jspencer1014
on 9/22/11 9:43 am - Riverdale, GA

RNY on 08/02/11

I don't think that the words to heal your broken world exist yet. But I am so really and truly sorry. My husband of 12 years walked out the door one day when I was going through treatment for breast cancer. He never came back. Not a word for several years. It hurt, but eventually it gets less painful. Eventually you will be able to look back at your life with the ex and be ok with the way it turned out. I needed lots of counseling to get there. I was on antidepressants for a while, but I got through it. Honestly, it was the deepest darkest pit I have ever been in and it was work to climb my way back out, but I did it and so can you. Get help, and just do what you can do each day to take care of you. It's hard, but you can do this!!! Feel free to message my if you feel you want or need to. -Julie

"It's not what is taken from you that counts. It's what you do with what you have left."-Hubert Humphrey

kellyl1202
on 9/22/11 10:07 am

RNY on 09/12/11

wow- I feel for you...yes you will be sad but one day the sun will shine again for you and probably sooner than you think. If you are depressed please see your PCP immediately and take his/her recommendation be it med or therapy. There is no need to suffer more than necessary. Hope things will be better soon for you.

AnneGG
on 9/22/11 10:20 am

RNY on 07/15/10

I hope you're getting whatever support you can- family, friends, church if you have one.

Therapy and supportive medication can be a godsend to help you through this.

You will get through this to the other side, and who knows how happy your life will turn out!

Please continue to take excellent care of yourself no matter what.

"What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls the butterfly." Richard Bach

"Support fosters your growth. If you are getting enough of the right support, you will experience a major transformation in yourself. You will discover a sense of empowerment and peace you have never before experienced. You will come to believe you can overcome your challenges and find some joy in this world." Katie Jay