Only my pre-op & FREAKING OUT!!! HELLP!

WHAT THE HECK AM I DOING!!?!!?!?!

Okay, I was fine last night, even excited. In fact, excited as I went through most of my pre-op work up stuff today. have to do 1200 cal for 10 days then 2 wks OptiFast, then RNY on 11/7. Things going along, just hunky dory...then BAM!!  I have, like, this PANIC ATTACK in the grocery store picking out food!! I'm second guessing myself (well, I HAVE already lost 30 lbs and my BMI is ONLY 39 now, maybe I should just try it on my own ONE MORE time....even if the other 25 didn't work). I'm BAWLING in my car on the way home, writing out (in my mind) my pre-op 'just in case I die' letter to my kids.  Am I totally going crazy and not cut out for this or WHAT?!!?  Please HELP!!

And yes, I know Help only has one 'L', but it doesn't when you feel like you're in...well...you get the idea....

I don't think there is a person who hasn't second guessed themselves. I know I was undecided and terrified right up until the day of my surgery.
I LOVE food and I didn't think I could ever fit this life style. But I'm 8 weeks out now and I've lost about 37 pounds, and 20.5 inches. I no longer take diabetes meds and my surgars are the lowest they've been in years. I'm off cholesterol meds as well. Some days are tough but I don't feel guilty like I used to every day when I would dissappoint myself by overeating. I know I did this for my health and not only that my Husband has lost 46 pounds since I've had the surgery. We don't eat out anymore at least not right now and we don't buy junk food . My wallet thanks me too. It has made a big difference in grocery bills too.
  I worried about dying and I wanted to write a letter to my husband and kids and all. But I spoke with them on the phone, told them I loved them and then I put my life in God's and the surgeon's hands. You'll be fine.

I've been doing the exact same thing as you, except the bawling part. I'm under 2 weeks to surgery. I have not been behaving absolutely perfect in terms of diet. I have moments of 'panic' where I think, "Dang!" I could die! Is this worth it?!?!?

Then I read messages on this forum from people who are 1 week, 2 weeks, 5 weeks, 1 yr plus out....and I get excited about the surgery again! 

Its like a roller coaster, isn't it? I don't have the answers. I'm thinking I'm just going to do it, no matter what my emotions...leave it in the Lord's hands!

I wish you all the best!

Hi There!  I am 6 weeks out and down 30 pounds, and I was you the week before my surgery.  In fact, I DID write "just in case" letters, to my husband, my mom, my brother, my four sons, my step son, and my grandchildren.  Thank the Lord that they never had to read them (but my husband did anyway lol).  I prayed a lot, and God provided the peace I needed, and like the other poster, I put myself in His hands and had faith He would lead me through.   I did not have to be on the restrictions you are for pre-op, just clear liquids for 48 hours prior to surgery and of course the lovely bowel prep.  My husband was wonderful, he helped me through my fears as did my mom.  If you have a relationship with God, talk to Him and let Him guide you-He will take away your fears and worries. 

Remember you are making a life changing decision that will help you live a longer, healthier life, and good luck to you!!

OMGoodness! I could have written this myself... Actually, I think I did. I wrote 'just in case' letters to my husband and each of my kids. After that, I made a list of all the reasons I wanted to do this and then a list of what would likely happen if I didn't. Like you, I had lost a great deal of weight prior to my WLS and my mom, who lived with me, really wanted me to give it the old college try one more time. All of that said, I decided that for me, going forward was the best thing and I haven't regretted it. 

For me, one of the deciding factors was looking over the exhaustive paperwork my program made me fill out in preparation for the surgery where I had to identify each weight loss attempt I had made, the immediate outcome and the outcome 6 months after the end of the weight loss attempt. It's not that I was never able to lose weight, but I was NEVER able to keep it off 6 months after I lost it. That was the deciding factor for me. I knew that I could lose weight, but I also knew that my history showed that I couldn't keep it off and felt that I needed the support of the tool. I know that the malabsorption really did help me maximize the potential of my weight loss, but I have found that the tool has been key in helping me keep it off and for me that is the definition of SUCCESS!

All of this said, only you can know if you are ready to do this. Take some time and think it over and you'll know. 

Of course you are scared- this is major surgery and a major life change, and many of us have failed at that in the past. I was scared silly, but knew I needed the support of surgery. My BMI was 39, 35 at the time of surgery.

I had regrets right afterwards, too, which I am told are also common.

Now- I would do it again in a heartbeat! I am in better health than I have ever been, I can run 5 miles a day at age 60, and I am at goal in a size 2-4 (I am lucky to be small boned).

For me, the best part of surgery is that it gave me no choice but to keep moving forward.

I had to just walk myself through my fear- I am so glad I did. But only you can know if you are ready for this.

i think its normal to feel that way i was good with until i googled to read more about this surgery and stuff came up about people that has died from this surgery thin more of the nerves kicked in i to have wrote letters to my wife and family in case i die  but like all u have said its in gods hands 

Hi

I am 7 days post-op.  Friday before my surgery I had "panic attacks"   lossing 7 pounds with worry I thought the same thing . I have been in pain for 8 years I have RA,OA fibromyalgia and Raynauds and I am only 48.. I reminded myself of all the pain I have been in and the road it took to get to the surgery itself.    Go in the bathroom strip your clothes and look into the mirrior. You are doing this for you and to gain a quality of life that we lose somewhere in the obese world.
I dont regret doing the surgery I am 15lbs down and focusing on my new life with my kids and husband.  Postive thoughts are a big key to success    Best of luck to you