Frustrated

 Ok, so this isn't an end of the world situation, but I'm looking for some advice.

First a NSV: Since my RnY I've given up drinking.  Day 78!  WooHoo!  I don't think I was an alcoholic, but I definitely was drinking a lot more than I should have been.  

Anyway, where I live, for expats, drinking is pretty much the ONLY thing people do.  There aren't a lot of cultural sites to go see and the weather is pretty atrocious so mostly we just head on down to the pub.  Well it's difficult for me to be in there.  The pub only has greasy food, pizza and burgers etc, and pretty much only booze and over sugared fruit drinks.   It's hard to be surrounded by people who are eating things I can't eat and drinking things I won't drink.   As this is the main social outlet, I've been feeling quite isolated.  

I've started having people over for dinner.  Now these dinners have a mix of healthy and less than healthy food.  I ask the guests to take any left over unhealthy food with them so I'm not tempted.  That has been working pretty well except for one thing.  I find that I eat quite a bit more when I'm surrounded by other people.  Not because anyone is pressuring me, just because it's there.  It's almost always high protein food such as chicken, but still I eat to the point where I'm uncomfortable.  

I'm frustrated with myself for my lack of control.  Perhaps I'm a food addict.  I know that most of us have issues with food and I"m no exception.  I'm only 2 and a half months out from surgery.  This isn't life or death, but I feel like if I don't figure this out now I will have much bigger problems later on.  

I'm proud of myself for pretty much ignoring the unhealthy food and I think that's a huge step in the right direction.  But now I need to face over eating.  Cooking gives me a lot of joy, so I don't want to give that up.   I don't have access to therapy or group meetings, so I am asking you all instead.  Advice?  Please?

Don't serve the food "family style" where you put all the platters and bowls on the table and can easily refill your plate.  Leave the food in the kitchen.  Everyone can fill their plates in there, and you can measure out the portion you are supposed to eat, then go sit at the table or in the living room or wherever.  It may be easier to resist going back for seconds when you have to get up and walk over to the food.

I also plan what I am going to eat the next day the night before, and if it's not on my plan, I don't eat it.

Serving in the kitchen as Kelly says is also a good idea. We always do that simply because our table is so small, and we do a fair amount of entertaining. I do very little of the cooking now, though I love to cook. It's just too tempting for me, like being in a bar for an alcoholic. I also don't keep refined carbs in the house.

Congrats on the drinking, by the way!

Managing ourselves sure isn't easy, is it? I know I'm a food addict.

Congratulations on making some very significant life changes!  I
think having people over for dinner is a great alternative to going to
the pub and being around unhealthy food and drink.  You might
also do games instead of just dinners so the focus isn't always
on mainly food.  I have a friend who has always invited people
over for various board games and she literally has a waiting list
of people who want to join...it's just so much fun. Or, you could do
movie night, game/sports night etc.  As for the food, I too have to
be careful so I always
portion my food out and I never do seconds....ever. I love to cook
and I do, but I freeze my food in portioned containers so for
lunches at work every day I just grab and go from my freezer.
Some nights when the family is having pizza or pasta, I have
one of my freezer meals....also nice when I'm just too tired to
cook after a long day at work.

I think you've made really significant changes and have done some
of the hard mental work that the surgery doesn't "fix".  Great job!
Sounds like you're doing really well.  I wish you continued success.

  Thank you all for your advice and suggestions!  They have definitely given me things to think about.  
My kitchen is quite tiny, so I don't know if I could keep all the food in there, but I'm sure I can keep at least some of it there to lessen temptation.  Great idea, thank you Kelly!

Planning out what to eat the day before is another awesome suggestion.  I will definitely be adding that to my "to do" list.  And yes, managing myself has never been easy, but it's also never been boring.  I think that's an arrangement I can live with!  Thank you Anne!

We actually do play quite a few games at my apartment.  Last time I went back to the States I bought a ton of games for here.  My current favorites are Apples to Apples and Settlers of Catan.  Completely different games but both very entertaining.  And portioning out my food and never going for seconds are wonderful ideas.  I will have to start doing that!  Thank you missjann!

I can see overeating becoming a major obstacle for me so I'm trying to nip it in the bud.  I have googled resources, but I was wondering if anyone had any special online recommendations?  Thanks in advance!


Thanks for your words of encouragement.  It's amazing how something so small can be so significant.  In fact, I think I will try to become a better cheerleader for others on this site, because it really helps when people do it for me!  Again, thanks for the advice and have a great day!