Question on self image

I am  having a really hard time seeing my weightloss.  Has anyone else had this issue?

My scale proves that I have lost weight.
My clothes show that I have lost weight.
Being off a lot of medicine reminds me that I have lost weight.
My friends/family remark how great I am looking.

The issue I am having is that when I look in the mirror, I still see me at my pre-op weight.  I look to see what others see and I can't find it.  I have been talking progress pictures since the day of my surgery.  I go back and look at them and still I cannot tell any difference.

Thanks for all input!
Vicky

yup, and I think its pretty normal!  It takes a while for our head to catch up

It happens to most post ops. BUT, in some cases, it becomes a real BIG issue. I know several members of my post op groups who have sought medical counseling to deal with this issue, some of the pateints using medications also.  DAVE

It gets better with time.  Pictures seemed to help me more than the mirror.  Now where I am looks pretty normal to me and sometimes I think I am getting fat again at my same 114.  I still look at my clothes and think they will never fit.

 I totally see what you mean.  I am not as far out as you.  I'm only out about 2 months or so but I've had people at work to comment on me looking great or asking me if I've lost weight and I thank them for their kind compliments, but I don't really see what they see yet.  Even though the evidence is right before me with the scale going down and clothes fitting looser, I still don't really see what they see.  I think that when I get to a certain point in my loss where I can fit some of my skinny clothes in my closet, then I will say, yes, this is really happening for me.  I guess all I'm saying is, for me, I will need to see more weight loss before I begin to see what other's are seeing.

I too am dealing with this.  I am 5 months out and can not see a difference.. my clothing size has changed and the number on the scale has changed.. but i dont see a bit of difference.  Infact i may now feel more uncomfortable then i did before.  I am thinking of getting some counceling before my body image rules my life again.  The constant compliments everyday now i feel people are just telling me what they think i wanna hear.. i even had one woman at work tell me not to lose to much more i look good where i am.. i just laughed and walked away.  I never realized the constant mental issues that would come along with this surgery.  Dont get me wrong it is still the best decision i have ever made but i am just waiting for one day it to all click.. and i will get that happiness i have so longed for! Good Luck in your journey!

Vicky,

Did you ever lose a whole bunch of weight earlier in life (or course only to gain it back like most of us?) The reason I ask is if you had/have, then I think you have a better ability to "see" yourself in a different light since you've been there, done that. As in, once thin, now thick. But that's just an hypothesis.

Another thought, (and I can only base this on my actions), when I was 300+ pounds I never really looked at myself in the mirror. I mean, yeah of course, I brushed my teeth and hair and put on make-up, but I didn't get naked and stand in front of a mirror looking at my fat. Hell I hardly ever checked myself out in clothes before I left for work! I JUST knew I was fat. Who needed to actually see/study it? So, not having a realistic "in-my-mind" image of myself obese makes it more difficult for me to now look in a mirror and see a difference. And why yes, I do now get naked and look in the mirror (~grin~).

I find what works for me is working with something tangible. Like the size of my pants, or rather the size of my butt in my pants! Pictures are great, but they can be deceptive because of position, environment, distortion, and camera perspective can skew the image. But take a pair of your old pants (I saved one pair) and hold it up and really study how damn big that old butt was. Now take a pair of your new size pants and actually see/measure the difference. Yeah, granted it's not like we've gone from a 26 to a 6 but (ha!, pun intended) you can see the inches difference even if its a 26 to a 18 or a 24 to a 14 or 12. Physical, tangible illustration works for me. Well that and not being hesitant to touch my shoulders, collar bones and waist to really get a "feel" for what my weight loss is.

Anyway, that's what works for me. Oh and I also have a anatomically correct "piece of fat" (bought from a medical supply company) that weighs one pound. I use it as a paperweight on my desk. It serves as a constant reminder of how one pound of fat physically occupies space. Multiply that by about 87 and voila, reality in my face!

 Here's a little trick that may help visualize your size (and this may have helped starting at pre-op so hope some newbies start this tip early): get a roll of craft paper or floor protector - you can find it at home supplies stores in the painting section - and get a friend to trace your outline. Periodically, retrace yourself as you're losing weight. Remember to date each line, maybe trace them in different colors. Hang up your body trace on the wall and you can see a real-time physical representation of your progress.
Looking at pictures and scale progress charts are good things to do. Look in the mirror every day and give yourself some positive statements. Learn to find things to love about your body. Also the PP gave good suggestions about the "pre-op" clothes, trying them on periodically so you have a real concrete example of where you'd been. The anatomical fat paperweight also gives me the idea of actually trying to carry the weight that you've lost - if you have access to freeweights or body weights, try to carry around your pre-op weight for a bit - go up stairs, try to walk around  - and those things can give you physical representations of how far you've come and when you let go of that artifical weight, focus on how freeing that feels!
Professional habit, I know, but to do some long-term work with self-image often requires professional counseling. It may take trying out a few different people but finding a therapist who can help guide you on this journey is well worth the effort! Good Luck!

Hi vicky,

I too, have a horrible time seeing the weight loss. I am almost 7 months out, down 92 pounds, 165 pounds now.. started in a size 24/26 Jean 2x sometimes 3x shirt. I am now in a size 11/12 Jean and size Med/Large top. When I go shopping, I still head to the plus size section, then realize that I am no longer in that section. When I am in the smaller sized section, and I am looking through the clothes, I feel like all the skinny girls are looking at me like I am a fat girl trying to fit into smaller clothes, lol. I usually lay my clothes out the night before work. When I lay my "skinny" jeans out I have a hard time believing that they will fit. I look at myself in the mirror every day... and all I see are my flaws.. My saggy belly, my saggy arms, no boobs, etc etc.I dont know why I just font look in the mirror and think " wow! You look good!" Anyways, I think Im rambling.... the whole point of this was, yes.. it is normal for us to not see the weight loss... it takes our minds something like 2 years to catch up..

 
In the meantime, I will remain a looser ;)
Mindy

 I am there with you.  I have lost 191 pounds and I do see the difference in all the things you listed, but when I look in the mirror with my panni hanging down still to just above my knees I still see me at 364 pounds.