Guilty for every bite??

 OMG. I haven't been on OH in sooo long. I lived on here while going through the getting ready and research stages. Now I'm over 2 years out. I reached my goal weigh and even dropped down to an all time low of 144lbs. (goal was 160) now I weigh 154. I was maintaining between 150 and 155 for about 4-6 months and then went through a deprecation and got depressed and that's when I hit 144. I simply stopped eating and lived on protein shakes. I know that wasn't good but it happened. Now every time I eat a bite of food I feel so guilty. Wether it's good for me or not doesn't matter at all. I hate that I regained to 154 and feel like I should have stayed at the lowest weight I obtained otherwise I've failed myself. Everyday I feel disgusted with myself and to top it all off my appetite has increased dramatically! Don't know what to do at this point. Feeling like a failure.

hugs. Very normal.   But - stop eating crap - the more carbs you eat - the more your crave - and get hungry.  Make sure to clean your diet. Make a plan - 5- 6 small meals a day - hungry or not.  You will eat as much as you need to - and not haw much you eat when hungry. 
And make an appointment with a good therapist.  The guilt - very normal - you need to learn to get rid of it.  It took me a year to be happy at the size I am now. 

Find a good counselor.  What you are experiencing is very much an eating disorder (just not one with an official name).

Lora

This is me now....

Hmmm... Let's do some arithmetic here... First you lost 163 pounds, and then you put 10 on. Sure sounds like a success to me.

I'm trying to sound supportive. I hope it comes off that way. I have a problem that I often mean things in a positive way, but they sound sarcastic. I hope that's not happening here, because I really do mean to compliment you. Almost no one stays at their lowest weight. Everyone rebounds a little bit.

You are doing great but you need to get rid of the guilt.  Guilt is good if you feel it when you have done something wrong but eating isn't wrong.  You need to eat to survive.  Don't strive to be perfect.  Allow for some variations in your eating plan.  Once you have eaten something, good or bad, put it out of your mind.  It's over and gone and there is nothing you can do once you have consumed something except to decide not to eat it again if you have a problem with it.  Learn from your "mistakes" and move on.
I don't know about you but I can't remember what I ate for lunch a month ago.  It doesn't matter to me anymore.  Try to do that with what you ate for lunch today.  Accept what you ate, learn if you don't feel good about it and move on and try to do better next time.  And if you don't feel like you have done better the next time keep trying but focus on what you are going to do, not what you have already done that can't be changed.  You can't change your past behavior, you can only change what you are going to do going forward.  Focus on that and let go of the past, even if the past was a few minutes ago.

D**n you're good!