Alcohol and Me

Hey everyone,
 
   I just passed my 3 year anniversary on Jan 5th. To say its been a roller coaster would be an understatement. I was 373 and have gotten to 204 and now about 218 or so. As far as the surgery goes it could not have went any better. Woke up in zero pain, no complications at all. Great surgeon and great follow up team. They had everything covered. Had tremendous support from my immediate family ( the only people I told )Any way..about a year and half ago..( maybe a little longer) I went to a baseball game and was offered a beer. I took a sip and almost felt a slight buzz right away. I drank that an another later on.
   A lot after that is a blur. I dran****asionally and didn't really over drink. ( I knew I shouldn't drink at all****pt drinking more and more. Almost always beer. I wasn't really eating that much but just kept drinking. Probably about year ago my family was starting to get worried. I was still losing weight but drinking excessively. I was starting to realize that I couldn't stop. I guess I should stay before the surgery I did drink a lot but no where near what I was drinking now. So...I started to try and cover up my drinking by buying vodka. ( thought it didn't smell..( yea right) and it was easier to hide the bottles. ) Started out drinking one or two beers plus a half a pint of vodka..this gradually increased to almost a quart a day. I was out of control. Blacking out almost every night. I drank at work and while I drove. I wound up getting a DUI and could have had another three ( at least ) if I was ever pulled over. I went to a detox months ago but started drinking 4 days after I got out. I just got worse and worse. I started to see a drug and alcohol counselor. Still kept drinking. Now I HAD to drink. I would be shaking uncontrollably every morning. I would have to take Ativan to stop shaking or start drinking in the morning. I was losing everything. My family ( people noticed at work). Finally I went to another detox ( couldn't take off for a month to go long term at that time) for 6 days. That was about 37 days ago. I've have been sober since then BUT now I'm eating more and more...I think I've gained about ten pounds which would put me up around 218. I'm scared to death. Its ironic I've always said that I would rather be a drunk then obese and now I might be heading to both. Not sure where to go from here. I do go to AA ( just a few) meetings. I do group meeting weekly as well as see a LDAC weekly. I know I should do more but haven't.
   I wrote this for a couple of reasons. Warn people not to even start drinking because we've all heard about cross addictions. And maybe to get some advice. I've gotten a lot of great help from here and hope I can get more...thanks for listening......

Thank you for sharing that takes courage to be able to tell the honest to goodness truth.
I am the daughter of alcoholics and I've struggled with that my whole life. I have had my own issue with drinking but avoid it at all costs because I know I won't stop. I know a few people that post surgery had the same problems and it terrified me.
I see post ops posting 8 weeks or less about wanting to drink and I want to reach through the screen and shake them.
I hope they read what you've written and understand how hard it is to stop.

Have you ever had to tell a child that a drunk driver killed their parents?
I have....

I don't have any great words of wisdom but I hope for you a healthy happy life. Its not an easy addiction to conquer follow your program and have faith in yourself and your family.

Thanks...My dad is a recoverng alcoholic and both of his parents were as well as both of my mothers. I hate always having to think about addictions. I really resent it. Why can't I just be "normal"? That is just me having pity on myself. I know I can't change the fact that I am an alcoholic and a food addict. I am trully blessed with a great family and having the opportunity to have had this surgery and lost all of the weight I have. I really am taking it one day at a time. That is one thing I have learned. Thanks for  your input.

I don't have any specific experience in this area, but I did want to thank you for sharing as we have all heard of cross-addictions, and it is something to watch for. Congratulations on your 37 days sober. I have a friend participating in the local AA and I know that each one of those 37 days have been hard won by your hard work.

 I am glad you are getting help.  Keep going to AA.  If you don't feel comfortable at one meeting try another.  I have been going for years and what has saved me is having a home group.  They know me and they are always there.
I have been sober for years, having hit my bottom with drugs and alcohol young and since then I have struggled with many different addictions.  It is all the same horse with a different color for me.  Food, drugs, alcohol, gambling and smoking are just some of the addictions I have dealt with.  When I give up one coping mechanism I always seem to find another.
Right now I am doing good not practicing any addictions.  I am going to counseling and hoping I can stay away from things and find other ways to cope.
It can be done.  Stay strong and seek out help and support and you will find it.  If I can do it, anyone can.

Thanks for posting your story.
I make a lot of don't drink alcohol posts and in the past have gotten quite a bit of grief about it. I don't care. I think it's something people really need to know about.
It's a lot of calories, it's hard on your liver, and ultimately can lead to addiction and a real unhappy life.
I hope you keep taking it a day at a time and sharing your  truth.
Deb T.

Thanks Deb

What a moving and brutally honest post.....thank you! I come from a family of alcoholics; both parents and all of my siblings. Several years ago before my surgery I found myself drinking every night.

When I decided to have the RNY I stopped drinking and have not felt the need for alcohol since (I more credit that to no longer being married to a man that I had come to hate). 

I have lived through what you are going through from the other end though. Watching the struggles of my Mom, Dad and brothers I know that it is hard, hard, hard! Take it one day, one hour, one minute at a time and please find an AA meeting/group that you like. Go to as many meetings as you can, even the ones that you don't like as much. There is something that you can take away from each one. Do you have a sponsor? 

Addictions suck! 

Hey there,

Not sure if you just want to share your story, or really do want some sage advice.

So thanks for sharing your story because it has likely helped another, and I'm going to offer some sage advice just because I'm old and that's just what old people do.  LoL

I would strongly suggest that you hookup with a good therapist and meet with them consistently every single week.  No excuses for not making the appointment.

Next, get into AA and do a meeting every single day for at least 30 days, then keep going for a couple of time a week for at least a year.

Once you have the solid foundation of support through a therapist and AA, I think you'll find your life is back on track and your weight issues under control.

Wishing you much success... 

Thanks for sharing!!

I also was in the kinda same boat you are... I had my surgery 11 years ago....never drank before surgery...

followed all the rules the doc said... got down to 165... from 380ish....

started drinking and going to clubs..b/c it was all new to me... i started drinking heavily "cross additction" without really even paying attention to what i'm doing...

I now have gained a huge amount of weight back and starting all over again to loose it....

your on the right path !!! DONT DRINK.... even if you gain a couple pounds from food...you can always get back on the right path with working out!!!

This is my 2nd week of not drinking, and i'm getting support.... GOOD LUCK!!!