Why does being called "skinny" sound like an insult?

So yesterday I went to workout with my trainer and two people were wrapping up prior to me.  One was much thinner than the other, really looked to be in good shape.  She walked up with a nasty look and said "what does he do to you that you're so skinny?".  I told her I had a head start and had weight loss surgery 19 months ago.  She said "yeah, well I had it 5 years ago but that doesn't mean the weight won't come back on."   Yikes, bitter girlfriend or what?  Hell, if she had 10 lbs to lose, it was in her sweatshirt.

I asked my trainer if I'd ever get used to people calling me skinny, tiny, too thin.  He thinks I will.  My husband likes to point out that most of the people who say it to me are overweight and likely jealous.  I just wonder when the heck it became an insult?

I just still find it funny that when I weighed 280# not a single family member, friend or even stranger ever said to me "you're too fat, it's time for you to stop gaining weight" but they think nothing of telling me now I'm too thin and need to stop losing. 

To be honest, I know when I was at my heaviest and felt like crap about myself, I found myself resenting thin women around me, but I never said anything to them.  I used to think to myself "for all I know, they used to be big and just lost a lot of weight."  Sometimes I just want to wear a t-shirt that says "Don't hate me, I was't always this thin." 

Anyone else experiencing this?

idk , people have told me im fat before lol. people who are full of hatred and jealousy though.. either way i look good! thats how i look at it.. LOL 

I'm not experiencing that. BUT, to answer your question--why does being called too skinny feel like an insult? Because it is. Because any negative judgment someone makes about another's body IS, in fact, an insult. Whether they're telling you you're too fat, too skinny, too tall, too short, too pale, too whatever--it's not their body to judge, so why do they feel the need?

When someone comes to a person and confides in genuine concern that they're worried about your weight, whether too big or too small, that's different. But when it's a snark tossed in passing, then yes. It absolutely is an insult.

There's no acceptable reason to insult someone. A person can call someone a fatty because they're disgusted. They can call someone else skinny because they're jealous. It might be easier to bru**** off if you assume they're just jealous, but really, whatever the motive, it doesn't make it acceptable.

 I think even though we as a society seem to put a prize on being thin or "skinny," any comment that comes from a place of anger or hostility can result in it eeling like an insult.  For example, being smart is a good thing.  As should displays of intelligence.  However sometimes, jealous or insecure co-workers or classmates might respond to such a display with a remark like, "you think you're so smart," or "you're such a show-off."  I think it's often a reflection of their own insecurity.
Also, I wonder how many of the comments you've heard come from women.  I think while men compare themselves to other men in terms of financial success or the women they date/marry, women have more of a tendency to compare themselves to one another physically. So again, if the women who make these comments to you feel that they don't measure up to you for some reason, they might react with anger or hostility as a defense mechanism.
When I get comments like that, particularly from someone who I haven't seen in a long time, I try to turn it around into something funny that still gets my point across.  At church recently, someone said, "ooh look at you.  Thinking you look all fabulous."  I said, "well, I'm just trying to keep up with those who have been fabulous all along."  Another example, I was wearing some very high heels and this woman said, in a snide tone, "You shouldn't be wearing those shoes.  They're going to hurt your back."  I said, "That may be true, but you know what else was rough on my back?  Those extra 180 pounds I was carrying around.  I think I'll take my chance with the shoes." :-)

I love your attitude and your comments.   You're my kinda girl!

Not experiencing it but I hope one day I can even come close to "skinny".  Even if someone said it in a nasty tone, I'd likely tell them "thank you!".  Unless it was a stranger, like in your case, I might have replied "what is he not doing for you that you're so chunky?"  But I'm mean like that, I bite back.

She was seething with jealousy.  

LOL - remind me to never tork you off!!!  ;)

I have not been called "skinny" or "tiny" -- and with my thighs and boobs, I likely never WILL be -- but even having people refer to me as "petite" is a little weird after always being the heaviest woman in the room for the past 20 years.

I did have someone last week (who has only known me at my current size) ask "who did your breasts?".  She has been thinking about getting implants but wanted some that looked more natural like mine and not extra round and hard and fake looking, LOL.  She was terribly embarrassed when I told her that they were real, and that, if anything, I would like them reduced a cup size or so (currently I am a 36 or 38 DDD ****asionally a DD))! She refused to believe I used to be over 300 pounds until I showed her some pictures and the PS scars on my arms.

Lora

I think the biggest reason just being called "tiny" is such culture shock is that because I'm big boned, I wear size 10 shoes  and 8-9 rings.   I've been 5'9" since going into 7th grade and was always THE tallest person in my class - male & female - from kindergarten through 8th grade.  I was called Amazon Woman from the time we learned what an Amazon woman was in 5th grade social studies!  I never met a boy my age who was taller than me until my freshman year in high school and I must have looked like an idiot walking around staring at them with my chin on the ground!

So tiny is not even in my reality.  Skinny, yeah I can see that.  I'm almost half the size I was before.  I just find it intriguing that the same people calling me skinny with contempt would never dreamed of calling me fat with contempt...or even love for that matter.

And if I'm not careful, I can almost feel guilty about it for a while.  Although I'm now very quick to remind myself I went through a lot to get where I am today - mentally and physically.   The same options are available to them, it's not my issue if they don't act on them.

The only person who can really get away with it is my Dad.  He'll send me an email every now and then addressed to "Dear Skinny Butt" but it's said with so much love, it makes me laugh out loud every time.   So there is definitely a lot to be said about the intent and the delivery.  Still, all those years I dreamed to be considered skinny, I never thought it would be meant as a negative!