I don't know you at all, so I am just talking in generalities, so please don't be offended. Losing a large amount of weight CAN cause major personality changes in some people. Although those changes are usually positive (increased self-esteem often causes people to advocate more for themselves or refuse to continue to be treated poorly by others), but sometimes they are negative (that same increased self-esteem, along with anger over being treated differently without the excess weight, can cause some people to become abrasive, demanding, or take an "it's my way or the highway" approach). I had a client once who lost 200 pounds (without surgery) and basically turned into an "I am going to do whatever I want to do whenever I want to do it, and no one can stop me" person, even though that meant she was alienating everyone in her life and neglecting her children. Yet she maintained that she had not changed at all, that others were just jealous of her new body or wanted to "keep her down",
It sounds like the changes you are making are positive ones, but you might want to take a look at the "I don't take **** anymore" just be sure that it means that you are standing up for yourself against legitimate poor treatment from others versus just being difficult if others don't agree with you. Again, I don't know you, so I am not making any judgments, just making a suggestion that might help you improve your relationship with your wife.
10 years out; 190 pounds lost, 165 pound loss maintained
You don't drown by falling in the water. You drown by staying there.