Keeping a Secret As You All Know

 Oh my, I am not the kind of person to keep secrets, and this surgery is a big one.  I told a few people at work that ask me where I have been I had back surgery, because they all know I have arthritis in my spine and 2 minor bulging discs, so all think I got my surgery for my back.  The ironic thing about all this is now that I am loosing weight, my back is hurting more, and I don't understand it.  I am still really tired and have not excerised now for 3 days due to back pain and feeling overwhelmed.  I don't want to be complaining, but I have kinda put myself in a pickle for those people who are curious and don't mind there own business, you know.

I have gone back to work 25 hrs per week, but each week I have taken 1 full day off, and this week I am taking 2, because I am just overwhelmed and tired and feeling that I can't seem to juggle work, home necessities i.e. cooking, cleaning ect... and feel normal, yet needing to walk each day too.  I feel like I am failing.

I made a doctor's appt. for next Tuesday to meet up with him and discuss this, but for now I am just venting.  I am feeling guilty not going into work tomorrow, but I know I need more rest, and stay home.  All of this is getting to me emotionally, and thus I want to eat pasta and curl up and sleep.

Also ~~ quick question, how soon can you experience diareha after eating?  I can eat hamburger pattie's but I am thinking I can't eat meatloaf.  Seems a bit weird, but I was experiencing episodes of diareha about 10 min after starting my dinner, Green beans and Meatloaf.

I love all of you and your wisdom, it helps me so much!!  Hope all you mom's had a great Mother's Day!!

 If you eat anything your body can not cope with, it might be less than 5 mins before it is bathroom time

I would guess that for now hamburger is "out" if it's making you sick that quicky. I'm sure you will be able to tolerate it at some point, but for now, id stay away!

As for your secret, don't let it eat at you. I never told anyone at work, and a year later and 90 lbs, no one has asked me outright. Do they have suspicions? Probably. I don't let it get to me. Its my business, not theirs.

Hope you feel better. Your back issues are not suprising to me. Your weight is redistributing and putting pressure in new places.

 The decision to talk to not talk is completely individual.  Personally, I've decided to be quite forthright about it because I'm of the belief that secrecy can breed shame and I want to be shame-less (in a good way).  Everyone I've told has been amazingly supportive so far.  I don't know if that will change when I have the surgery but you know what?  If it does ... screw'em!  This is for you, not for them, if they can't deal with it then they can step aside and watch as you pass them by!

Breathe in and out and know that these are the early days of the rest of your life and the other side is going to be so freeing.

Have you ever seen trees that have grown up around fences?  It's kind of like that only you're at a stage now where the fence has been cut out.  You're healing now and, once healed, you'll be able to grow and get stronger and stronger day by day.

Hang in there!  This current struggle is going to be worth it!

*hugs* 

Please don't take this as a criticism, because I do believe that the decision to tell people about your surgery (or not) is a decision that each person needs to make and be comfortable with. As a counselor, though, whose clients' thought processes sometimes baffle me, and as someone who was very open about my RNY if asked (since people would figure it out anyway when I dropped almost 200 pounds), am just genuinely curious. To me, it seems like it is one thing not to volunteer the information that you had RNY or to just decline to answer questions about what kind of surgery or why the rapid weight loss, but it seems like quite another to tell people that you had a completely unrelated surgery. So I am just wondering what the thought process was in terms of deciding to fabricate a back surgery.

Lora

I started not to tell friends about my lap band but did.  Then it failed and I had RNY.  I wanted the prayer support so am glad I shared the information.  Everyone has been great about it and very supportive.

 Lora ~~ The reason I said back surgery is that I was having back issues prior to my RNY, and loosing weight will help my back, but not carrying so much weight.  I just did not want to seem like a failure to those around who like to openly judge.  I am just surprised about the back ache's with loosing almost 50lbs now.  I thought it would be much better by now.  I am almost 3 months out.  My mom has noticed that I have lost the weight and she keeps saying to me "you did not have that surgery did you", so I just find it best to keep it to myself!

Thanks for the response.  You back may be bothering you more now because, as we lose weight, it can shift our center of gravity which can effect our balance and create strain on the back.  Our gait can also change significantly (we lose the "swaying" motion or the "waddle"), which can cause hip discomfort for a while until your body adjusts.  If you have very heavy breasts and a large tummy, you may also find that when the tummy is gone (or gone enough that it no longer helps support your breasts),  your neck, upper back and shoulders may bother you more. I never had pain from the weight of my breasts even though they were enormous, but for the past 3 years I have had a lot of pain (I still wear a DDD bra).

Lora