Lost

 It has been a while since I have posted here. I had my surgery on April 30th and everything is going well. I am down 36.5 pounds as of this morning. I am lost because my boyfriend of 3 years broke up with me last Sunday. I have never felt more alone. We have been living together for over 2 years and now I am back at my parents. I have seen him twice since and he wants me to leave the door open to work things out and possibly some day get back together. I don't know how I feel about this. He has been my rock for so long and now he is gone. I am feeling so lost and down that I don't know what to do. I'm trying my hardest to stay focused and continue focusing on me, but it is hard. Sorry for venting, but just needed to let it out. Thanks for listening!

I know this is hard and it is hard to let someone go that has been in your life for a long time.
IBut when you get done losing your weight you are going to feel so good about yourself you will forget about him.  Move on the guys will be beating down your door.

So he broke up with you and wants you to keep the door open? So for what?
When it doesn't work out with his next girl that he can come back ?

Go out in the garden and get a new rock. Paint a face on it and imagine it to be the next guy who appreciates you for who you are. 

Take all that energy you are spending thinking about him and focus on the awesome 36.5 pounds you have lost and on all of the positive changes you are making in your life!
 
Hold your head high!!!!!!!

Babe...DEEP BERATH! You WILL be okay... I am assuming he gave you reasons he wanted to break up... How I always look at it is that everything happens for a reason and maybe he needs to be out of your life for Mr. Perfect to walk into it.... I never want anyone who doesn't want me... know what I mean?

I'm pretty sure I would not leave the door open to work on it (depending on cir****tances) because the "working" on it part should have come before the "break up move out" part....

You are WORTH more then that! Hold your head high show him you are perfectly fine without him and move on....

Julia

 First off, HUGS.

Break-ups are hard no matter what.

I personally would NOT leave the door open for anything. That sounds terribly wishy-washy and very much like he's holding you hostage emotionally. You're at a point in your life where big changes are happening. He's either with you as your partner or not. If you can handle being friends (although I'm always an advocate for the cessation of contact for a bit after breaking up before attempting that) then that's one thing. But you need to be able to work through your feelings. Holding feelings at bay (such as "leaving doors open") won't help you learn to deal with your emotions in a way that will land you in a right place with your eating and health.

So I would say that even though it hurts, you may need to move on for your own good. And even though you feel lost, reach out to your support network. Let your family and friends and US surround you with caring.

It will be ok even if it doesn't feel like it right now.

 Ow ouch ouch. 

My hardcore thoughts about this painful event:

What's this about leaving the door open? You leave your door open for him to waltze in and out at will, while he closes his door at will. Do you feel good about that?

He was not your rock. You are your rock.

You are not lost. You are your center and your home. If you have a higher power, that's your center and your home. Personally, I believe it's you. The higher, wiser, abiding you. It ain't him and never was.

Don't confuse pain with being lost and weak. 

Choose your own outcome. Love has bumps, but only you know if this is a speed bump or the end of the road.

Best wishes for a speedy healing!

Tell it like it is, Dagne!

Great advice and post.

 Well said!!

 Oh god that is so hard but I agree with all the posters here. Don't leave the door open. You might not have wanted this to end but he broke up with you and your back at your parents after 2 years. Personally not knowing the situation but this guy knows what you are dealing with after major surgery. He kicked you while you were not mecessarily down but trying to find your new way in life. I suggest you find a new way with a new man who will love you and cherish you and not ask you for a break and let's leave the door open! Who does that????? I wish I could smack a man every time I hear a man say that. You don't get many do overs in life taking him back is not a do over you want to do. Hugs it will hurt for a bit but focus on you and all the wonderful things you will be doing with your new mindset, body, and life carefree! Vent o us anytime!