OT - Life = Turmoil + Scale Goes Up! Caution: WHINE Ahead
OK... this is going to be a pity-party whiner rant... if this kinda thing bothers you, stop reading NOW. Those who continue do so at their own risk... LOL
I am really not sure where to start or even if I should be writing this here, but I needed an avenue to dump all this crap. And since the final straw this morning was when the scale went up - here I am. Please don't scold me about being a scale ***** I am. I know it and at least for now that it how it is. I usually bounce between two numbers and I am fine with that. I was just getting ready to change my ticker because I was down another pound and had been for about two weeks. Then, this morning it bounced up another pound from the higher of the two. I haven't seen that number in over two weeks! In fact, this is the first time I've gone above the higher of the two numbers I bounce between in the past four months or so. So now the mind goes crazy... I know I've been grazing a little too much... I have attended 3 get togethers in the past two weeks where I have been nibbling on my nemisis (sweets), maybe the calorie grabbing villi are repopulating my intestines and they are on overdrive (LOL)... and I have been sitting on my ass too much and not moving enough.
Mentally I am doing all the things I teach my clients not to do - about worry, mental gymnastics, negative self-talk, etc. I am a peer counselor who works with people that have persistent mental illness. I help them transition back into the community. You would think I would know better (what's that saying: "those who don't know, teach"... LOL
So while I am on the subject of work... we used to have 3 full time people and one part time person. We now have - ME, and a gal that works about ten hours a week and is really very little help with the projects I need help with. I have individual clients I see every week, run three groups, sit on committees and have the dreaded progredd notes. I am starting to burn out. I really don't want to look for a new job right now because school starts in about 5 weeks and I didn't want to add that stress to the rest of it.
And while we are on the subject of school - I am SCARED! I haven't done school in 20 years. I am an old fart now and not sure if I even remember how to study... LOL. It's two days a week so I will have to shift my work schedule around some so I am not doing late groups on that day. I also worry about the cost. I am getting a student loan for the course cost but books are about another $1,000 per symester. Since my husband lost his job I am concerned about being able to pay for my books.
While we're on the subject of my husband losing his job... this is the first time in 30 years that he's been unemployed, and the first time in our 16 years together that either of us has. The was a copier tech for 23 years. It was so unfair what they did to him. His company was bought out twice in 18 months. The company that purchased his in the second buyout implemented this productivity tool. This tool has the specs that the tech has to maintain according to each machine that they work on. For instance, if you called in a service call because there was a scratch on the glass of your copy machine and he repaired it... that machine would have to go 10,000 copies or like 2 months before another call was placed on it. Say the next week the paper wouldn't load - even though it has nothing to do with the scratch on the glass it is considered a "negative" on your record because the machine didn't go the required 10,000 copies or two months! Is that absurd or what?! So they had him ride with other technicians who had good numbers to learn what they did to make it work. What he found was that they were cheating... and basically told him that if he didn't he'd never make his numbers. My husband was not comfortable doing that. Though he fudged the numbers here and there, and brought up his productivity 40% in two months they still let him go. The company said that they wouldn't fight him getting unemployment, but unemployment said there was no guarantee he would get it since he was fired. We should know at the end of this week.
And while we're on the subject of my hubby being unemployed... you would think that he would be doing all the projects around the house that he said he couldn't get sone because he was working. Not so much. There are so many things that he could be doing - in addition to looking for a job, which is the number one thing of course... but he's playing video games, talking on the phone with his buddies (I swear he's like a little old lady on that phone... LOL) and playing on the internet.
And there's one more thing (I know, "just" one)... I am the power of attorney for a dear friend whom I've known for 30 years. I was actually married to him for about a year when we were both young and stupid. He has no one - except me. He had a massive stroke at the age of 47 and I have been his advocate for the past 7-1/2 years. He was in a nursing home but now live in his own place with aids that come in to assist him. I am the first person he calls for everything, an sometimes that means 10 calls, or more, A DAY. And I am the first person that anyone dealing with him, including agencies, the state, disability, his doctors, his aids, etc. calls. It gets exhausting. At three AM there was another such situation that required me to be on the phone and alert - and then go back to sleep afterwards, and come to work this morning. My husband is a SAINT. He knows my ex and has a freindly relationship with him. My husband installed his washer and dryer, fixed his PC numerous times when he tweeked it up, hung his TV, drove me up there at midnight when his furnace went out so that we can drop off a space heater... and so much more.
I can NOT imagine that anyone is still reading this by now (I don't think I would be) but I want to thank you for giving me a place to dump it all out on the table.
If the scale had not gone up - you would have been spared... LOL. I know it's not the end of the world... I know what I need to do...
Love you all. Pam
I am really not sure where to start or even if I should be writing this here, but I needed an avenue to dump all this crap. And since the final straw this morning was when the scale went up - here I am. Please don't scold me about being a scale ***** I am. I know it and at least for now that it how it is. I usually bounce between two numbers and I am fine with that. I was just getting ready to change my ticker because I was down another pound and had been for about two weeks. Then, this morning it bounced up another pound from the higher of the two. I haven't seen that number in over two weeks! In fact, this is the first time I've gone above the higher of the two numbers I bounce between in the past four months or so. So now the mind goes crazy... I know I've been grazing a little too much... I have attended 3 get togethers in the past two weeks where I have been nibbling on my nemisis (sweets), maybe the calorie grabbing villi are repopulating my intestines and they are on overdrive (LOL)... and I have been sitting on my ass too much and not moving enough.
Mentally I am doing all the things I teach my clients not to do - about worry, mental gymnastics, negative self-talk, etc. I am a peer counselor who works with people that have persistent mental illness. I help them transition back into the community. You would think I would know better (what's that saying: "those who don't know, teach"... LOL
So while I am on the subject of work... we used to have 3 full time people and one part time person. We now have - ME, and a gal that works about ten hours a week and is really very little help with the projects I need help with. I have individual clients I see every week, run three groups, sit on committees and have the dreaded progredd notes. I am starting to burn out. I really don't want to look for a new job right now because school starts in about 5 weeks and I didn't want to add that stress to the rest of it.
And while we are on the subject of school - I am SCARED! I haven't done school in 20 years. I am an old fart now and not sure if I even remember how to study... LOL. It's two days a week so I will have to shift my work schedule around some so I am not doing late groups on that day. I also worry about the cost. I am getting a student loan for the course cost but books are about another $1,000 per symester. Since my husband lost his job I am concerned about being able to pay for my books.
While we're on the subject of my husband losing his job... this is the first time in 30 years that he's been unemployed, and the first time in our 16 years together that either of us has. The was a copier tech for 23 years. It was so unfair what they did to him. His company was bought out twice in 18 months. The company that purchased his in the second buyout implemented this productivity tool. This tool has the specs that the tech has to maintain according to each machine that they work on. For instance, if you called in a service call because there was a scratch on the glass of your copy machine and he repaired it... that machine would have to go 10,000 copies or like 2 months before another call was placed on it. Say the next week the paper wouldn't load - even though it has nothing to do with the scratch on the glass it is considered a "negative" on your record because the machine didn't go the required 10,000 copies or two months! Is that absurd or what?! So they had him ride with other technicians who had good numbers to learn what they did to make it work. What he found was that they were cheating... and basically told him that if he didn't he'd never make his numbers. My husband was not comfortable doing that. Though he fudged the numbers here and there, and brought up his productivity 40% in two months they still let him go. The company said that they wouldn't fight him getting unemployment, but unemployment said there was no guarantee he would get it since he was fired. We should know at the end of this week.
And while we're on the subject of my hubby being unemployed... you would think that he would be doing all the projects around the house that he said he couldn't get sone because he was working. Not so much. There are so many things that he could be doing - in addition to looking for a job, which is the number one thing of course... but he's playing video games, talking on the phone with his buddies (I swear he's like a little old lady on that phone... LOL) and playing on the internet.
And there's one more thing (I know, "just" one)... I am the power of attorney for a dear friend whom I've known for 30 years. I was actually married to him for about a year when we were both young and stupid. He has no one - except me. He had a massive stroke at the age of 47 and I have been his advocate for the past 7-1/2 years. He was in a nursing home but now live in his own place with aids that come in to assist him. I am the first person he calls for everything, an sometimes that means 10 calls, or more, A DAY. And I am the first person that anyone dealing with him, including agencies, the state, disability, his doctors, his aids, etc. calls. It gets exhausting. At three AM there was another such situation that required me to be on the phone and alert - and then go back to sleep afterwards, and come to work this morning. My husband is a SAINT. He knows my ex and has a freindly relationship with him. My husband installed his washer and dryer, fixed his PC numerous times when he tweeked it up, hung his TV, drove me up there at midnight when his furnace went out so that we can drop off a space heater... and so much more.
I can NOT imagine that anyone is still reading this by now (I don't think I would be) but I want to thank you for giving me a place to dump it all out on the table.
If the scale had not gone up - you would have been spared... LOL. I know it's not the end of the world... I know what I need to do...
Love you all. Pam
It sounds like you are busier than a one-armed paper hanger in a windstorm!! Hope things settle down for you. Don't worry about the scale, it is probably water weight.
Sandy
HW 225, SW 219, GW 140, CW 124
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!
(HUGS)
I can relate to some of the things. As for a friend who you are the only DPA - maybe it is time to find someone else to help with that and only be part time - for really critical items?
I was DOA for some my friends and as much as I wanted to help and be there - at the end I had to give it up - I still do it once in a while - but now I am the back-up and not a primary person. I was drowning...not enough time and energy for me... something had to give...
Hala. RNY 5/14/2008; Happy At Goal =HAG
"I can eat or do anything I want to - as long as I am willing to deal with the consequences"
"Failure is not falling down, It is not getting up once you fell... So pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start all over again...."
Hi - I have gotten better about "delegating" to his aids, the agency that oversees his housing and having him actually handle some of his affairs. He is cabable to do many things but is so used to having them done for him that he expects it (learned dependence). But... he had NO ONE. His one brother is... well... they will bleep anything I write here but just let me say that I asked him to be a backup in the event that I got hit by a bus - he refused! Is he a piece of work, or what? His younger brother lives out of the state...he is mentally handicapped and wouldn't be able to handle it.
We've talked about me going back to school and that my time was going to be more limited. He understands that, FOR NOW. But with his short term memory problems caused by the stroke it is challenging.
Thank you for your response and for taking time to read my rant. HUGS BACK!
We've talked about me going back to school and that my time was going to be more limited. He understands that, FOR NOW. But with his short term memory problems caused by the stroke it is challenging.
Thank you for your response and for taking time to read my rant. HUGS BACK!
He is cabable to do many things but is so used to having them done for him that he expects it (learned dependence). But... he had NO ONE.
(HUGS) - been there... I get that... but he can learn new things, eventually... and some days - the phone will be off... you can't take care of him if you get sick. Just saying...
(HUGS) - been there... I get that... but he can learn new things, eventually... and some days - the phone will be off... you can't take care of him if you get sick. Just saying...
Hala. RNY 5/14/2008; Happy At Goal =HAG
"I can eat or do anything I want to - as long as I am willing to deal with the consequences"
"Failure is not falling down, It is not getting up once you fell... So pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start all over again...."
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