Thought I would share this....
Just thought I would share this blog entry. I am having my surgery on Wednesday and am getting quite nervous but excited as well. It's a pretty long blog entry, so if you read it, thank you in advance!
Weighing over 270lbs pretty much means that every day is a struggle for me. For a majority of my adult life, I weighed right around 220/230lbs. At that weight, I never felt completely dissatisfied with my looks or my weight, like I do now. Actually, I remember feeling pretty confident about my looks. But even at a weight of 220, I struggled with day to day life. It was always hard to keep up with my friends or do physical activities. Now, at nearly 280lbs, I feel that ANY physical activity is a great challenge. I will say though, that I do push myself, and I try not to miss out on life just because some things are so physically hard for me. At 220 lbs, I climbed the 180ft high Mayan ruin, Lamani, on a school trip to Belize. At 280lbs, I traveled through Europe alone by train, public transportation, and walking. It was very difficult and physically demanding. I’ll never forget having to haul my laundry across the city of Amsterdam, totally out of breath by the time I reached the laundry mat. Also at 280lbs, I hitchhiked with a group of people that I only recently met and remember how hard it was “not" to keep up with them. I guess my goal has always been to never miss out because of my weight, to never hold back. But the fact of the matter is that I have missed out. I cannot help but wonder how some of my life experiences would have went down had I been a normal weight and had I been fit. I don’t want to go on living my entire life wondering “what life would have been like as a healthy, thin, fit person." I don’t want to go on like this, struggling with everyday life.
Every time I take a shower, I get winded washing my hair. I can make it up to the third floor to my apartment but not without at least a little bit of struggle each time. And if I have to carry something, say a basket of laundry, up to my apartment, forget it – I get completely winded. I used to be able to reach the release button to my gas tank cover of my car with ease, but now, I have to first open my door to reach it. One thing that I REALLY hate is having to judge in stores if I can fit through a certain spot, say, a carriage in the isle and a display. Sometimes it’s really embarrassing when I misjudge. And I can’t count the times I have knocked something off a shelf with my oversized rear-end…..totally embarrassing!! I rarely go shopping for clothing anymore – I feel that nothing looks good on me and can’t ever even find something that is even the least bit slenderizing. I don’t enjoy sex that much anymore – its physically demanding and I can’t move with ease. And maybe one of the hardest things of all is reaching my toenails when I have to cut them or want to paint them. I have been on a few short backpacking trips (again, weighing 280lbs.). They were so physically demanding, carrying all my excess weight plus around 60lbs of gear (I never travel light), but each experience was truly pleasurable. My last backpacking trip was a few years ago because it was just something that was too physically demanding for my weight and lack of fitness. I would love to go backpacking again, maybe this time I’ll be 100lbs lighter, will be able to go on more than just a few mile trip, and will be more fit and up for the challenge.
When I think of my upcoming weight loss surgery on August 8th, I am scared to death. I think I may miss shoveling food down my throat but I keep reminding myself that the doors that WLS will open for me and the possibilities that an active life can hold are more worth it then any amount of “comfort" food. The lowest that I have ever weighed in at in my adult life was 200lbs, and I felt so great about my body and the way I looked. At that time I was very ill with Lyme disease so I never felt fit or healthy but I can only imagine what 160 might feel like (my goal weight), especially if I am living an active, healthy lifestyle and am not ill. I am so afraid that once I lose the weight I will forget what life is like as a severely obese person. I never want to forget because I never want to let myself get to this point again. I hope I will be able to look back at this blog entry in the future and remember all the struggles that my weight carried. I NEVER want to let myself get this way again….because this just isn’t living life to the fullest and that’s one of my main goals in life.
Weighing over 270lbs pretty much means that every day is a struggle for me. For a majority of my adult life, I weighed right around 220/230lbs. At that weight, I never felt completely dissatisfied with my looks or my weight, like I do now. Actually, I remember feeling pretty confident about my looks. But even at a weight of 220, I struggled with day to day life. It was always hard to keep up with my friends or do physical activities. Now, at nearly 280lbs, I feel that ANY physical activity is a great challenge. I will say though, that I do push myself, and I try not to miss out on life just because some things are so physically hard for me. At 220 lbs, I climbed the 180ft high Mayan ruin, Lamani, on a school trip to Belize. At 280lbs, I traveled through Europe alone by train, public transportation, and walking. It was very difficult and physically demanding. I’ll never forget having to haul my laundry across the city of Amsterdam, totally out of breath by the time I reached the laundry mat. Also at 280lbs, I hitchhiked with a group of people that I only recently met and remember how hard it was “not" to keep up with them. I guess my goal has always been to never miss out because of my weight, to never hold back. But the fact of the matter is that I have missed out. I cannot help but wonder how some of my life experiences would have went down had I been a normal weight and had I been fit. I don’t want to go on living my entire life wondering “what life would have been like as a healthy, thin, fit person." I don’t want to go on like this, struggling with everyday life.
Every time I take a shower, I get winded washing my hair. I can make it up to the third floor to my apartment but not without at least a little bit of struggle each time. And if I have to carry something, say a basket of laundry, up to my apartment, forget it – I get completely winded. I used to be able to reach the release button to my gas tank cover of my car with ease, but now, I have to first open my door to reach it. One thing that I REALLY hate is having to judge in stores if I can fit through a certain spot, say, a carriage in the isle and a display. Sometimes it’s really embarrassing when I misjudge. And I can’t count the times I have knocked something off a shelf with my oversized rear-end…..totally embarrassing!! I rarely go shopping for clothing anymore – I feel that nothing looks good on me and can’t ever even find something that is even the least bit slenderizing. I don’t enjoy sex that much anymore – its physically demanding and I can’t move with ease. And maybe one of the hardest things of all is reaching my toenails when I have to cut them or want to paint them. I have been on a few short backpacking trips (again, weighing 280lbs.). They were so physically demanding, carrying all my excess weight plus around 60lbs of gear (I never travel light), but each experience was truly pleasurable. My last backpacking trip was a few years ago because it was just something that was too physically demanding for my weight and lack of fitness. I would love to go backpacking again, maybe this time I’ll be 100lbs lighter, will be able to go on more than just a few mile trip, and will be more fit and up for the challenge.
When I think of my upcoming weight loss surgery on August 8th, I am scared to death. I think I may miss shoveling food down my throat but I keep reminding myself that the doors that WLS will open for me and the possibilities that an active life can hold are more worth it then any amount of “comfort" food. The lowest that I have ever weighed in at in my adult life was 200lbs, and I felt so great about my body and the way I looked. At that time I was very ill with Lyme disease so I never felt fit or healthy but I can only imagine what 160 might feel like (my goal weight), especially if I am living an active, healthy lifestyle and am not ill. I am so afraid that once I lose the weight I will forget what life is like as a severely obese person. I never want to forget because I never want to let myself get to this point again. I hope I will be able to look back at this blog entry in the future and remember all the struggles that my weight carried. I NEVER want to let myself get this way again….because this just isn’t living life to the fullest and that’s one of my main goals in life.
MegSurgery Date: August 8th, 2012
HW: 285 / Surgery Day Weight: 274 / CW: 237.5 / Goal Weight: 160
"BE THE CHANGE YOU WISH TO SEE IN THE WORLD"
-GANDHI
I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to not eat all my favs and fail at this but I am able to not eat them or anything else that is off my menu. Don't be scared you will do this because you want it so bad. I think everyday you will be reminded of how far you've come from this starting place. I will keep you in my thoughts. Good luck on the 8th.
You are starting out one pound more than I was on my surgery date. I also tried to keep up with those around me. It was exhausting. I am just over nine months out from my RNY and I am down 124 pounds. The difference this surgery has made in my life is just incredible! Just this last weekend my husband and I went whale watching, we had to park our car in a 5 story parking garage. The elevator we were going to take was overloaded so it wouldn't budge. I looked at my hubby , winked and we RAN up the stairs! When we got to the top, the same people that had caused the malfunction were coming out of the other elevator lol! Talk about a victory.
I wish you all the best in your new life!
I wish you all the best in your new life!
HW 274. CW 129
All those life things you like to do, but struggle with, you will be able to do with ease. Your daily life will allow you to even do things you may have only dream of. If you told me 3 months ago that I would be riding a road bike and having fun at 70 I would not have believed you. I can cross my legs, wash my feet well, and most important for a man….pee standing up and not dribble down my leg.
My wife can not believe that I have so much energy and I actually look for things to do around the house. I love wearing clothes that I like not just ones that just fit me with no style at all. It is normal to be afraid of the unknown. I have had almost no pain and feel great except when I try to eat things that I find do not agree with me, or eat too fast or too much.
I have to confess that I really miss having a plate full of food. 2.5oz that I can have looks so small even on a small plate. But when I eat what I have, I am full and satisfied. I would not have believed that before surgery. I am learning more and more each day, and I feel I am getting more in control of my body. I am getting more confident that long term I am going to be successful. Go for it, you will not regret it.
Thanks for posting your story I see myself in much of what you said. 
Visit my Blog at http://www.lwassmann.blogspot.com/ 
Thank you everyone, for your support. The people on here are AMAZING and I think that with this site I will be able to get threw anything. See you on the loosers bench!
MegSurgery Date: August 8th, 2012
HW: 285 / Surgery Day Weight: 274 / CW: 237.5 / Goal Weight: 160
"BE THE CHANGE YOU WISH TO SEE IN THE WORLD"
-GANDHI
Most Active
Recent Topics