Goal weight and therapy ?

Turtle Lynn
on 9/6/12 6:58 am - New Castle, DE
RNY on 05/29/12 with
 
Okay, so yesterday I saw the Diabetes Nurse and than my Dietitian and we proceeded to ha**** out over my goal weight among other things.  They put me on that Tanita machine again, which showed that I'm better hydrated, lost fat and have improved muscle mass.  That part was great. The not so great part is that I'm stuck on a number and perception in my head that they don't agree with. . .grrrrrr. 

I think I should weigh about 130 to reconcile the image in my head of where I want to end up. . . they both (and my surgeon) says no, that's too low, I should be at 150, which will be perfect for my height and diabetes health. The Tanita machine agrees with them too lol. . .it actually says 150.2 is my ideal weight for my height, body mass and type.  Of course, that was NOT what I wanted to hear .  

Now granted, I'm still 30+ lbs away from hitting that goal.  I keep saying we will re-evaluate when I get to 150 and they both put their foot down yesterday and said no way, 130 is unreasonable, and I need to get that out of my head.  

How did you decide on where to stop losing? or determining your ideal goal weight?  

Maybe I am being unreasonable because it's been so long since I was at those lower weights, and I have this "magic" number stuck in my head that I think I "have to" get to to look the way that I want to. . . . .maybe I will look at 150 how I "think" I will look at 130 .

Also, I see people on the boards suggest therapy alot to others. . . how do you find a therapist that specializes in weight loss and/or bariatrics?  or would just any old therapist do?  I am curious because I definitely have the body dysmorphia going on so I have considered talking to someone about it to help me get over that, but I don't know that a "regular" therapist could really help with or relate to that . . . .any thoughts or suggestions?

Thanks! 

  HW 287, GW 150,  CW 168   ** Band to RNY 05/29/12 **

Starting BMI between 35 and 40ish? Join us-Lightweights Board

 

avivaps
on 9/6/12 7:06 am
RNY on 02/28/12
 Two concerns I have with a potentially unrealistic goal - your overall health and setting yourself up for failure. 

I think a therapist is an excellent idea. I posted on my local (Ontario) board and ended up with a name of someone who specializes in Bariatric patients. I am very happy with her. 

You could post here, on your local board, ask your Bariatric program or local support group. I think it is helpful to at least have someone with some experience in disordered eating and of course someone who you feel safe and comfortable with. 

Good luck,

Andrea. 

    

RNY February 2012

starting BMI 40

nfarris79
on 9/6/12 7:33 am - Germantown, MD
 There are several ways to find someone who specializes in Bariatrics: ask your surgeon, ask your insurance company, or look online (Psychology Today has Find-A-Therapist). However, in areas of body dysmorphia, anyone with experience in eating disorders would be well qualified to work with you. My professional interest & training in ED happened well before my personal experience with bariatric surgery, but you'd be surprised how many post-ops are therapists!
Personally, my goal was established as what I had to weigh for normal BMI. Where I stopped was determined by my body. I'm under goal, but not unhealthily, as my NUT approves what/how much I'm eating and I'm training for a Half-Marathon.

First ultra: Stone Mill 50 miler 11/15/14 13:44:38, First Full Marathon: Marine Corps 10/27/13 4:57:11Half Marathon PR 2:04:43 at Shamrock VA Beach Half-Marathon, 12/2/12 First Half-Marathon 2:32:47, 5K PR  Run Under the Lights 5K 27:23 on 11/23/13, 10K PR 52:53 Pike's Peek 10K 4/21/13(1st timed run) Accumen 8K 51:09 10/14/12.

     
 

Turtle Lynn
on 9/6/12 7:44 am - New Castle, DE
RNY on 05/29/12 with
 
Thank you both!  

I tried going through my insurance company already and that was a waste of time.  I will ask my surgeon's office for recommendations for a therapist and see if they have anyone they commonly refer to.  I never heard of the Find-A-Therapist, I will try that too!  

According to the charts my Diabetes Team use, 150 lbs is a BMI of 25, but 130 is below that, which is part of why they are saying that is too low.

I go back to my surgeon at the end of the month, and am planning to talk to him about it again and see if there is a "range" rather than a specific number he would be okay with.  I think I may do better with that and that way I would fixate a little less on a specific number since I tend to get a little too wrapped up in the numbers at times. 

  HW 287, GW 150,  CW 168   ** Band to RNY 05/29/12 **

Starting BMI between 35 and 40ish? Join us-Lightweights Board

 

poet_kelly
on 9/6/12 7:55 am - OH
Any good therapist should be able to help you with weight and food issues, with things like body image self-esteem and impulse control and making good choices, etc.

If you are addicted to food, I would look for a therapist with experience dealing with that.  If you have an eating disorder, I would find a therapist experienced with that.  Otherwise, any good therapist should be able to help.

View more of my photos at ObesityHelp.com          Kelly

Please note: I AM NOT A DOCTOR.  If you want medical advice, talk to your doctor.  Whatever I post, there is probably some surgeon or other health care provider somewhere that disagrees with me.  If you want to know what your surgeon thinks, then ask him or her.    Check out my blog.

 

Turtle Lynn
on 9/6/12 8:07 am - New Castle, DE
RNY on 05/29/12 with
 
Thanks, Kelly!

No eating disorders that I am aware of, just trying to reconcile how I *actually* look with what I see when I look in the mirror!  I know that this is very common.  I just don't feel the way that I look in pictures, especially with the side by sides.  I still see me at my preop weight. . .it's very frustrating.  

  HW 287, GW 150,  CW 168   ** Band to RNY 05/29/12 **

Starting BMI between 35 and 40ish? Join us-Lightweights Board

 

Larry Wassmann
on 9/6/12 7:57 am - Lacey, WA
RNY on 05/09/12
I am going to take a little different track on goal weight. I have lost over 100lbs 7 times in my life and once over 200lbs. Had a tummy tuck and all at my expense. Now I believe you must be happy with the goal weight you want to be not what someone else wants you to be, not even your doctor.  Now I say really, really, really happy. Not satisfied. Too many times I found it hard to lose much more weight in my loss journeys, and convinced myself that “Oh well I am happy with what I weight now", but deep down I felt I had failed and did not lose the weight I wanted and did not get the self image I had planned for myself. The feelings of failure lingered and thoughts in my head like “I guess I am going to always be Stocky, Big Boned it is in my Genes". Slowly I stopped trying and gained my weight back. I can not tell you that reaching MY  goal would have made a difference because I have never made my goal, so I can not tell you that it did, but I am going to try this time. 
I look at a lot of photos of before and after on this and other web sites. Many people look outstanding and I am sure they are happy with what they have accomplished, BUT there are way to many people in my opinion who just gave up and have convinced themselves that they are where they really want to be. Stocky!!!! They will argue that everyone does not have to be “movie star thin", NO,  they don’t, unless that is what THEY want. I feel many of these folks are just justifying things to themselves and are not really happy. I may be wrong, but that is how I feel. 
I am just not going to be satisfied until I get to look, feel and weigh what I want. And the key is “I".   

fb.png   Visit my Blog at  http://www.lwassmann.blogspot.com/                                

Turtle Lynn
on 9/6/12 8:22 am - New Castle, DE
RNY on 05/29/12 with
 
You make some very good points, Larry.  I never got to my goal weight with the LapBand even though I lost 100 lbs; and that still wasn't "good enough".  I was actually right where I am now. 

I'm not trying to be a difficult patient, be unreasonable, or go into an unhealthy weight range, I've just had that number in my mind so long as my "ideal" weight that it is hard to let go of it.  Plus, as I said, I have that body image in my mind of how I will look when I get there. 

I still think the best option would be to re-evaluate when I get to "their" goal weight and see how I look and feel.  I would think, especially with my diabetes and other health issues that being on the low side of a healthy BMI would be better than being at the higher end.  I think my surgeon will also agree to give me a weight range he feels is healthy for me.  

On the flip side, I don't want to feel as you mentioned, like I "settled" or gave up or am a failure because I didn't reach *my* number.  

  HW 287, GW 150,  CW 168   ** Band to RNY 05/29/12 **

Starting BMI between 35 and 40ish? Join us-Lightweights Board

 

kidnamedtoad
on 9/7/12 2:11 am
I agree with everything you said Larry!  I weighed in today at 149lbs and I wore a 2XL tee shirt and it still fit!  I know many people here are thrilled at 150lbs but I'm still fat!  I'm never going to feel thin until I get closer to my goal!  The 109 is my "oh my god I made it to my goal" goal.  120 is my realistic goal but somehow I know that I will still look chubby at 120. 
Toad         Starting weight: 249 Day of surgery wt: 217  GW: 109 CW 149                                                                    
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