Update on Clueless!!

Thanks everyone so much for the replies to my other post.

I did end up calling my surgeon's office, he does not require clear liquid diet at all before surgery, just don't take anything after midnight the night before and only a small siip of water to take my morning meds.

Thanks for the info about why the bowel prep is not needed.  I know what happens for the surgery (got to watch an online "surgery" as part of my preop), just didn't realize that the small bowel didn't create the same issues as large bowel.

My son's surgery was going to be to augment his bladder with intestine (they also sometimes use stomach) and I have no clue what part of the intestines they were going to use, but he had to do the bowel prep.  Then ended up canceling the surgery both times.....whew.  If I knew then what I know now I would NEVER have let them do a bowel prep outside of the hospital!!  (we actually did in in the car driving from Montana to Seattle!!!)  Uggg.....  

So....I'm good with the pre-op diet.  STILL trying to get my anti-depressant figured out.....the doctor and nurse who were going to look into it talked to them this morning and said they would call back....never did and they are no longer in the office today.  They WILL be there tomorrow, but I need to know if I can pick it up tomorrow morning because I have to go to Bozeman to get the prescription and will be there at 8:40 for physical therapy and don't want to have to drive back again later to pick up my medicine!  We just don't have the money for gas for that many times back and forth (been there once this morning and have to go again this afternoon, so was HOPING I could pick up the med this afternoon).

Sorry to whine......just soooooo stressed!  Everything seems to happen at the same time...both my son's have special needs (autism) and then my oldest is post kidney transplant and has two brand new doctors (switched from pediatric to adult care) and of course the one I need to talk to has been out of the office for 2 weeks with NO ONE on call for him (he's the only nephrologist in the area).

Ok, deep breath.  It will all be worth it in the end.  Just have to get through the next few days the surgery and then recover and start my new healthier life!!

I am a single mom to 2 kids my son is 15 going on 40 and my daughter is 17 going on 6, she is developmentally delayed, hearing impaired and has kidney disease. that being said I have to say my biggeset stress/concern prior to/during/after was my kids especially my daughter, there is nothing anyone can say/do to keep you from stressing over them b/c your a mom. all you can do is do what you need to prior to surgery so that there is less to be worried about after, I can honestly say it does work out .

I made sure prior to surgery that my house was fully stocked w/ food and paper products, I made sure all the meds were filled,her school knew I was having surgery incase she was out of sorts, etc  I sent my son to my sister's while I was in the hospital, so he wouldnt miss school and my daughter I sent out of town w/ a great friend who is a mom of a son w/ autism  and is considered her "aunt", I knew she needed extra tlc while I was away,I felt  screw school and that way I didnt need to worry about her, she was in the best care possible,
the morning of my surgery I had both my kids there w/ me untill I went into preop, but I also had 4 other adults there to entertain her during the 8hrs I was in ( my surgery was 5hrs of actual surgery and then 3 w/ preop/postop mainly post op) the hardest part was when I got to the surgery sign in area my daughter burst into tears and I felt horrible about it, but I also knew that her "Aunt" and other family that came would calm her down and take care of her, which they did.

I am now 4 weeks out and all worked out I came home in the early afternoon and my friend brought my daughter and our dogs home a few hours later and then my sister brought my son home after his waterpolo practice, they were pretty self feeding as my son can "cook" and I made sure I had froze meals for them along w/ other easy cook foods. the paper products helped minimize dishes and well w/ them in school housework was limited, also my kids both do laundry as a chore so that was also a non issue.

another thing I did was I took BOTH my kids to meet my surgeon, I felt it was very important that they meet the doctor and ask him questions, also I wanted him to know how important my kids were to me and that I needed to be ok for them, I wanted him to have their faces in his mind so he did his best work. I also made sure that not only did he know, butr also the pre op staff knew that my kids needed to b kept updated during the long surgery more often than they normally do as they are kids and are worried about their mom, and I wanted them to know I was doing ok,

I know my surgeon understood b/c he was very nice and answered all my son's questions, he asked him about his qualifications to do the surgery, how many he has done and how long etc my theory was I wanted someone w/ experience in RNY, but not someone who did so many that it was like an assembly line, I was not just a number.. so I "lectured the anestheologists, the pre op/surgical nurses, and the residents/ fellows about the importance of keeping my kids informed and then apparently my 1st words when waking was where were my kids, were they ok, I had som issues staying awake but apparently for 2 1/2 hrs when I would awake I would immediately ask for my kids and @ 1 point I asked for a phone to call them to find them. 2 days later my surgeon commented on my kids, as I asked for them so often.

if you have taken care of everything that you possible can b4 hand then that is all you can do , and just trust in the fact that you have done your job as their mom and it will all work out try not to sweet the small stuff and you will bounce back faster. and tell yourself like I did I was doing this not to just get thinnr I was doing it so that I could continue to be around to keep raising my daughter so that her brother wont need to sooner than he has to.

I will continue to keep you in my thoughts and good luck it will all work out and your right it will so be worth it.

Thank you SO much for replying!!!  It makes me feel better to know that others have had to deal with this sort of situation.

My youngest won't get to meet my surgeon, but my older one will be with my parents and I when we go to the hospital that morning.  He won't ask questions....he just doesn't, but I've been trying to explain what is going to happen and Grandma and Grandpa will be with him.  He's had a ton of surgeries, so it's going to be VERY strange for me to be on the other side of things!  I was able to donate a kidney to him 15 years ago, but of course he was only 5 and in surgery at the same time.  Not being able to see him immediatly after surgery was really hard though.  First (and only) surgery he's ever had that I was not right there for him.  But, it worked out in the end and he's doing amazing!  We were told the kidney might last about 10 years.  Well, at 15 years it's still going strong!  Not "normal" but working enough that dialysis/transplant is probably still a long way off.

My youngest doesn't really understand, but we've talked about how I will be at Grandma and Grandpa's house with Bryan and that I will be in the hospital for surgery and won't be home for at the very least a week.  He's not that happy about not getting to go with me, but my parents just can't handle him.  Thankfully my husband will be here to take care of him and get him to school and therapy and such.  (he better not forget the therapy and his swim class!!!)  He also takes medication, so I will fill up his weekly pill box and his medicine bottles say what dose and when to take it, so I'm sure my husband can figure it out.  He use to help with Bryan's meds back when he was taking all liquid meds as well as help out with the dialysis and feeding pump, so I KNOW he can....he's just out of practice.

I cannot imagine going through this without having a spouse or something.  Of course I don't really have any friends that could take either one of them.  I'm so glad you had people to help out!!

I think all of the meds are filled and enough for several weeks, but am going to check again today (we are leaving for Great Falls tomorrow) while I get everything else ready.

Thanks again!!!

Shelly

Your very welcome, I know I'm very very lucky to have some amazing friends, my family, other than my kids are not supportive to say the least, infact my 1 sister is/was completely against me having the RNY,  she was telling me all kinds of horror stories she has heard, but yet had no clue w/ the reality of it, and since my surgery she hasnt even asked how I was doing, she wont even mention it, so I was seriously considering not letting my son stay w/ them, but they live 3 blocks from his school and it was 2 nights and he can handl himself pretty well.

I'm glad to hear that you arent in it alone either, that is a biggie both b4, during, and after, 
also it doesnt matter if your son wont ask the dr. questions just letting him have the option and letting him know and meet the surgeon is very important after all there is nothing worse than the fear of the unknown, I had a few ppl who questioned me insisting my daughter meet mine, but I dont regret it at all and infact her therapist said that I was right to do so, I alo talked to both my kids alone and together early on in the process, I left them ask me anything and explained it the best I could after all this wasnt just my lifestyle change it changed their lives also, 

I wont lie, you obviously know what its like to have a sick child(ren), my son had hip surgery(no comparison to kidney transplant)  when he was 7yrs i was a sudden emergency surgery and I was alone in it  an hr from home, it was horrible the waiting and not knowing, I have never been seperated from my daughter except for when I had a hysterectomy but they were soo much younger and we live across from the hospital I had it done in, so I was very stressed about being away this time and just so  worried about how she would do while waiting, but I have to say by surrounding her and myself w/ only the ppl that truely cared helped and it sounds as if you have that in your parents, kids and husband, all you can do is trust that you have taught them well and frankly as long as they have their meds, get to therapy and have food all else will work out, if not does it really matter?  just so you heal well is what is important in the end..I would suggest letting their therapists/teachers etc know your having surgery, you dont need to tell them what kind, but it may help so they know if your boys seem a little off  during those days.

I did email my youngest's teachers, both his regular ed and special ed teacher, and the special ed teacher said she would keep and extra eye out on him, since when I have been gone in the past (previous hospital stays), he tends to act out.  It's hard to know how he will behave, but hopefully it will be ok and hopefully he and his Dad can have some bonding time!

Tonight I talked with my 6 year old about if he had any questions.  I was so shocked that the first question he asked was "are you going to be ok?"  He is way smarter than everyone thinks!  I didn't want to just say yes and then something happen, but I did tell him that the doctor has done a lot of surgeries and he would be taking good care of me.  Then Grandma and Grandpa and Bryan would take care of me too and I will talk to him on the phone.  He seemed happier after that.

Of course his next big question was who was going to bring his hamster to school on student star day if I wasn't here.  Had to laugh a bit, but good that he's not obessed about me having surgery or anything.  He will just miss his mommy.

I didn't even think about telling his occupational therapist and of course I don't have an email for them (and they don't have a website!).  I'll tell my husband to let them know just incase he is having some trouble.

His psychiatrist knows I'll be gone and wanted to see him next week with my husband, but the only time they had open just wouldn't work, so now we won't get back there until mid November.  I'll be leaving all the doctor's numbers for Scott, so hopefully if something major happens, he will actually call.  He likes to just kind of pretend everything is fine...even when it's really not.  Maybe Moms are just more in tune with our kids.....

Shelly