Can't depend on anybody - especially my mom!!

Tomorrow's my surgery!  (Hooray!)  I haven't been nervous too much, I feel like I'm very prepared, ready for anything that could happen, and I'm ready to get this done with.  I'm a planner, and I have everything planned out.  Then, last night, as I'm verifying my arrival time, surgery time, etc with my mom she says "well, if you're not out of surgery by 10:30, I'm going to have to leave to go to work."  I'm sorry, WHAT?!?!?!  I asked her as soon as I found out my surgery date to please take off work so she can be there with me, and I thought she had.  I've even made several comments since then about her being off work the day of my surgery.  Apparently she decided on her own that it wouldn't be a big deal if she just went ahead and worked, since "I'd probably just be sleeping anyway."  Again, WHAT?!?!?!  She had a very minor surgery for a deviated septum last spring, and I took the day off, sat with her all day long, made sure that she didn't need anything, and even brought over dinner for her and my dad that night (it was outpatient).  And she couldn't even take a day off work for me while I have my insides re-arranged?!  When I expressed my concern to her, she said that she'd call one of the two jobs and ask if it would be okay to not come in.  Ummm, she couldn't do that in advance??

I am so completely and totally beyond mad right now.  Which, of course, has now made me nervous and sad and freaking out about my surgery tomorrow.  I tried to explain to her that I'm scared since I've never had surgery, don't know what to expect, and really don't want to be sitting there all alone when I get out of surgery, and she seemed to think I was being funny.  I'm single, have no children, and really only have my parents and my brother to depend on.  My friends have offered to help if I need it, but since I thought my mom was going to be there for me, it's not like I can ask a friend to take off work with no notice to stay with me all day at the hospital!  (I've only lived in this area for two years, so my friends here are not such good friends that I could ask them to drop everything to help me, anyway.)

I'm kind of at a loss right now.  Will it be a big deal for me to not have someone there with me?  If everything is right on schedule, I should be out and recovering by the time she has to leave, but surgeons and hospitals are notorious for running behind schedule!

It's so normal to have the jitters. I have had several situations where I was left to mostly fend for myself with surgery. The hospital will provide you all the help you really need. Yes it's nice to have a loved one to hold hands with, but belive it or not most nurses will help if you just let them know you are scared. Also you might be able to find a obesity help friend who lives in your area who will tag along (An Angel). ASK.

 

 

 

 

Don't blame you for being upset.  Having said that, you should be fine even if she isn't around.  The nurses will take excellent care of you. You may prefer to reserve your mom's time for when you first get home.

Now is an emotional time.  Pre-op diet moodiness plus pre-surgery jitters can really freak us out.  Hang in there, you're almost on the losers' bench. Good luck tomorrow.

Andrea

 

 

Though it is nice to have someone there, I don't think it's necessary. You'll need some one there for the ride home, but other than that, you'll be fine.

It's very normal to be upset - presurgery jitters, effects of preop fasting, plus that's just a crappy thing to do. Are your mom & mine related? JK. Take a deep breath and let her do what she's gonna do. You'll be under the expert care of nurses & doctors and will be doped up for the first couple days. So long as she doesn't bail on you for your ride home, you'll be fine!

Don't worry you will be fine without mom there. It's normal to be nervous and I'm sure this really upset you. When I had my surgery my husband had a previous appointment right after I came back to my room. I was able to get up and walk by myself and if I needed help the nurses were right there to help. You will do fine and it will all work out! 

I feel your pain, but try to put this in a realistic perspective. You will be sleeping all day following surgery and will probably have little memory of most anything following the procedure.

Now, to the best part. This will be the first day of the rest of your life. You will be empowered to reach the goals you have set for yourself and only you can make it happen. Your family will be important as you work the program of taking supplements, eating small (tiny) portions and figuring out what your body will tolerate.

I don't mean to sound cruel or unfeeling , but don't let yourself get sidelined with a pity party. Stay tough and remember what you plan to do and just take each day as it comes. Our thoughts and prayers are with you, OH buddy!

You could have the opposite, I have like 5 people who will be here or force their way here if I sneeze.  My surgery didn't happen until almost noon and I woke up around 3pm my mom stayed until 4 pm and then left because I was not good company.  

My mom stayed until I was out of surgery sat with me an hour or so and then left....she had to work. Didnt hurt my feelings any that she did that. Nobody came and visited me..again was more than cool with that and even told people NOT to come because I would be sleeping or walking or whatever. Next day she had deliveries to do and didnt show up at hospital until end of the day. I get it hurt your feelings but that doesnt mean she doesnt support you. You probably will be sleeping and all she would do is sit there watching you sleep for hours and hours with nothing to do...

I agree with the other posts- it is a crappy thing for your mom to do, by not making time for only you...but you should be fine without her. The nurses should take good care of you and you will sleep for awhile and not really care if you have company or not. Hang in there- just think - TOMORROW starts a whole new healthy life for you girl. Don't let anyone ruin it for you. We are all thinking of you. Keep us posted on how everything goes.