am i hopeless?

so I will be 4 months out next week and for these past 3 weeks I have been eating poorly especially on days I'm off work (I work 3 days a week). since last Friday I have been eating about 1650 cals a day sometimes more. I was only good the 3 days I worked this week.

I don't know Wat's up w me. I plan my meals and get in enough protein (about 60 grams) but I always have room for more food even beyond a cup of food.

a typical day is milk and coffee for breakfast. string cheese for snack a can of tuna w miracle whip for lunch another string cheese snack and a hormels dinner or a salad. that's when I stay on plan but with feeding my kids and preparing things for my fiance I always start nibbling and tasting things and wind up getting in lots of extra calories. I never feel full or full enough to resist temptation. my head hunger is non stop.

I'm so early out that it makes me feel like if I'm so unfocused now than I'm doomed. did anyone struggle this early out but figure it out and conquer ur demons in the end?

You have already identified that the culprits are head hunger and snacking while you are preparing food. I would suggest counseling so you can figure out what is fueling the head hunger (because it usually has a psychological/emotional root) and can develop some strategies for extinguishing the habit of eating while preparing meals for your family (something more tangible than a "just say no" approach).

Lora

Thanks Lora. I am definitely interested in counseling I guess I havent because I'm a little skeptical. Not to sound rude or ignorant but I had a great childhood and upbringing and I can't wrap my head around having a deep rooted issue. I'm open to it and wouldn't be embarrassed. I will look into it. Maybe I have some sort of compulsive disorder. Thanks again !

My doctor (and NUT who is one of the well informed ones) said that failures with RNY can often be tracked to eating between meals (snacking) and not eating enough dense food, especially protein like meats. He said tha****ery drinks, even milk, or watery soups or sauces cause food to not remain in the pouch for true effectiveness. When I complained to my NUT that I'm not just a meat eater at all and worry that I'll have trouble doing dense meats (fork food), she said to remember that they have discovered that dense food, especially meats, have an effect on the pouch, creating hormonal and chemical responses in the body that cause one to feel less interested in eating more.

I just passed my two month mark and now I'm to stop all snacking and focus on 3 meals per day with a minimum of 4 to 5 hours between them. I thought it would be harder to do but it turned out OK as long as I have things to do (mostly at home). Oddly, I lost some of my snacking appetite and doing well with this plan. I lost only 17 lbs first month and only 10 the second with more frequent eating and the surprise is that I lost 10 lbs in 7 days of this new meal plan! I WILL admit that I was on a 2.5 week stall just before this big drop. So, maybe back off of snacks, beef up the 3 meals per day and see how you do for one week.

It's just a thought. It's working for me and there must be something to it.

I don't eat any meat at all.  Haven't in about 26 years.  I understand that dense protein keeps us feeling full longer, but what chemical and hormonal responses is she talking about that only occur from eating meat?  And who discovered that?  I'd like to read the study.

I've been able to maintain my weight at a few pounds below my goal weight without relying on meat to cause me to be less interested in eating more.

Kelly,

 would love to know what you are substituting for the protein.  Never a big meat ( protein) eater and looking for alternatives beside dairy.  I have a recipe foe black beans, quinoa , and mashed Mexican chicken that I want to try.  Any suggestions would be appreciated.

Mostly beans and dairy.  I eat a lot of Greek yogurt and some cheese, plus I do protein shakes some days.  I snack on roasted chickpeas a few times a week.  I also eat some of the meat substitutes, like veggie burgers and the Morningstar Farms products.  They have fake chicken, soy crumbles (like ground beef but no meat), fake bacon, etc.  Once in a while I eat eggs.

I'm trying to think what I've had for dinner this past week.  One night I had the fake bacon, scrambled eggs with cheese and about one bite of a muffin (it didn't taste very good or I would have eating about half).  One night I had jambalaya made with fake Italian sausage. 

I didn't mean to infer exclusively animal meat for every meal.  I was told that cottage cheese, cheese, eggs and many soy products are good substitutions in the "dense" meat category and to try to lighten up on the watery and thinner sauces and frequent (2-3 X day) milk drinks I was doing. My meal I'm eating right now is Lean Cuisine butternut squash ravioli w/one packet of beneprotein and 1/8 c parmesan cheese, 1/8 c peas for a 25g protein total. I'll try to be more careful how I word things because I really should have thought about how it came across as meat only and not meat recommended with possible substitutions.

What I meant to focus on was the 3 "protein meals" per day than the 5 to 6 mini meals I was doing prior (per doctor's plan). If you count protein drinks (about 4oz at a time) then up to 7-8 mini meals per day. I'm only 2 months and 4 days out and initially felt that 3 meals only was going to be hard to switch to and unsatisfying, tempting me to do little nibbles here and there, but my satiation swung in the opposite direction causing me to feel full and not interested in food. I find I am forgetting to even eat, which is not good I know, so I'm marking the time better. 

I knew RNY was going to really help with portion sizes but I was realistic that I could be one who still focused a lot on food thoughts but after only a few days of the 3 meal a day plan, the food thoughts and grazing desires are infrequent and have resulted in quite a drop in weight. 

I'll ask her about the hormones to get specifics on which ones and the studies. I like to pick her brain as she encourages questions. I'll make a post about it when I gather more info.

It would be pretty hard for me to go 4-5 hrs between meals. What is a typical meal for u?

I'm not the one you are responding too but my doctor also does 3 meals a day dense protein first. I don't care for food first thing in the morning so I do a protein shake for breakfast. Lunch is something like a baked chicken thigh, or the topping off of pizza (3 oz), or baked chicken wings with a low sugar bbq sauce, that gets me by well until dinner (most nights I'm not hungry at dinner time 4-5 hours after lunch but eat because I need to) Dinner is crispy microwaved bacon I break up and eat like chips, or chicken wings or thigh, or spaghetti meat sauce which I put on the pasta for the rest of the family but I just eat 3-4 oz of the meat and sauce, or 1/2 cup of meatloaf, or 2-3 oz of steak etc. I am allowed to have 1/2 cup of veggies and 1/2 cup of fruit at this point but I never have room. I do treat myself to a sugar free sugar wafer a couple of nights a week when I have all of my protein in and the head hunger steps up but I just have one and only about 3 times a week.