Skipping holiday parties - anyone else done this?

So the last month or so of my pre-op program has not gone well. I've been really stressed with some other stuff going on, and I fell back into the old crap that led me here in the first place. Not tracking my food, nonsense like not eating all day and then of course being starving and stressed at night (and then eating way too much), going back to a dieting mindset, barely exercising, etc. And it took me way longer than it should to realize it... the day before Thanksgiving it was like I finally opened my eyes and I was horrified that I'd backslid into this mindset and these old habits.

So I skipped Thanksgiving and took the day to really just think about why I'm doing this, what I want to change and that sort of thing. I'm trying to reframe this pre-surgery plan and required weight loss (which I'm now further away from than before) as getting myself stronger and healthier before surgery, vs focusing on the numbers which can be so discouraging. I'm back to tracking, I have an updated plan of action after meeting with my nutritionist and so far it's going well. Oh and I'm coming here again. I didnt' even realize (well, not consciously) that I'd stopped my daily visits here for awhile.

I avoided Thanksgiving, but more holiday stuff is on the way. For work alone there are 4 or 5 holiday functions. And right now I just don't think it's in my best interest to go to all of them. The couple that are small, just my team, I'm thinking I'll go to. They know what's going on with me and are supportive. If I eat just some chicken and veggies no one will be pushing food at me. The bigger ones that are multisite or multidepartment I plan to skip. I'll have to deal with them eventually but right now I'm feeling like it's better to avoid them, I've just straightened myself out but I'm now having protein shakes 2x daily (plus one lean meat centered meal) and sometimes I'm like... damn I'm hungry, even though I suspect that's head hunger vs true hunger. And I have a goal to meet. I don't want to get derailed now and I don't want to have the mindset "oh I'll get back on the wagon after the holidays" because it has always been that sort of crap that turns into another day, week, or more.

Am I alone on this or have others been in the same boat?

That sounds like a good plan.  It's hard to pass up party food and usually, when the party is over, I end up saying it wasn't that good.  

Yeah I doubt I'll be thinking "wow that was amazing, I'm so glad I blew so much of my calorie budget on that mac and cheese casserole." More like:

Actually I would recommend you take each party as a challenge. Prove to yourself that you can make good food choices while in a public setting. It would be good practice for your postop life, because lets be honest--you can't skip every party or function postop just to avoid bad foods. Your social life might suffer for it.

The choice is ultimately yours, but I think you should take this head on and take this opportunity to teach yourself proper restraint. Eat off the veggie/fruit plate or don't eat there at all. There is no rule that says you must partake in the food at a party. Just drink some water or a sugar-free drink and mingle. Don't let your fears or your head hunger beat you. Embrace the chance to practice and eat like a postop. 

That is just my two cents. I hope that even if you just attend the smaller parties you'll make good food decisions and stay on track. I plan to attend a Christmas party where no one knows about my rny but they know i've lost a ton of weight this year. I plan to stick to my healthy choices and I know my friends will be proud of me for doing so. If your coworkers know about your surgery I doubt they'll push food at you.

Good luck.

I know I need to practice, I just don't know that now is the best time. The smaller events with my immediate coworkers will be okay, but the bigger ones with more people, more food, more "I haven't seen you in weeks/months you have to have one of these brownies", that kind of thing is going to be hard. I guess I need to think about it some more. Maybe I could eat beforehand so I won't be hungry when I go there, just make an appearance to mingle and head back to my office.

It's a tricky time of year... one of my favorite things is pumpkin... pumpkin bread, pie etc. It's killing me to walk past tables full of these goodies at the grocery store.

And GL with your parties and ongoing loss! It sounds like you're doing really well

I totally get this.  The time will come when you'll be able to handle things better.  And it will be MUCH easier when you're not craving food and you've had time to develop good habits.

I'm with you on your choice.  I'm just over 2 months POST-op, and have been avoiding a lot of social events.  For me, it's just too hard.  And not physically (because I really DON"T want to eat), but more emotionally.  I hate to explain my choices to everyone and I'm just too fragile emotionally to deal with all of it, so I'm waiting until I feel better.

I've been having a lot of emotional issues, but they say it's hard the first couple of months.  I'll be glad when I can move past this part. 

Do what suits your pace best. I wish you the best.

I believe you need to do what works for you.  I like to socialize so I make it work and have done the following:

(1) Bring food that I can share and eat when it is a potluck.

(2)  Eat a meal at home and at the party just sip on a diet beverage, tea or water saying I've already eaten.  

(3)  Scope out the leanest protein (this is knowing in advance that there is meat).  I find eating meat slowly and chewing helps the hunger feeling diminish.  Then I wait about 30 minutes and if still hungry,  look for vegetables and salad.  I focus on avoiding sugar and fats. 

It always helps me if I drink a glass of water before I eat. 

These are the things I did prior to being overweight so I started doing them again post op.   My digestive system is much happier if I avoid excessive fats and sugars.  I could eat anything in my early years and couldn't gain wt.  That changed in my forties and I had to change my eating habits.  I got lax after an injury, eventually doubled my body wt and was on high blood pressure and cholesterol meds.   The hard part was weaning off the fats and sugars and relearning portion control.  Today, I am  conscious of every bite.   I slow down and enjoy what I eat but don't mindless eat or overeat.

Happy Holidays!

Something that always worked for me either before surgery or even now, is eat before you go.  If you eat something healthy at home and satisfy yourself you may not be tempted at all when you go.  In fact, instead of having everything allow yourself one item to snack on.  Whether it's a beverage, or a dessert, or even an appetizery food, let yourself have one.  Otherwise, get more social with the group at the party and you won't have to worry about being the one standing over by the food constantly shoveling it in.  I also sit as far away from wherever the food is at.  This makes me less likely to "graze". 

Good Luck, I know it's a difficult time of year for us all.  No matter how well we're doing, it is so easy to overdo it.  For me, I need to really focus on no snacking.  If I just stick to my protein requirements, three times a day and no snacking I will continue to have amazing results. So far, so good!