Support Group ~ Holiday party with food?? WTH??

wmamey
on 12/3/12 4:11 pm
RNY on 06/18/12
Maybe I just don't understand and someone can set me straight... Go ahead and let me have it because I just don't get it!! Why the hell would a support group for WLS patients put a flyer out for the "Holiday" party that states POT LUCK - BRING YOUR FAVORITE DISH!!!??? Are you kidding me? For the last almost 7 months I have been trying to avoid stuff like this and have tried to teach myself that get togethers/parties DO NOT have to focus around food. Then... the place where I am supposed to get the most support, they throw me under the bus. Clearly I have issues with food. So do at least half of the patients that attend support group. Well, I won't be able to go to this "party" because even though these dishes may be WLS friendly... they aren't - in abundance. And yes, there WILL be an abundance of food at this get together!! So protein dish or not, I cannot go because my issue lies in OVEREATING, especially sweets! I have made amazing progress and I will not let this stand in my way but I just don't get it!! Why the hell would the facilitator of the support group do this?
            
Cindyagogo
on 12/3/12 5:39 pm
RNY on 02/21/12

Does seem to be a bit of an oxymoron. We had a WLS reunion at the hospital, attended by all the staff and surgeons....same thing...lots of refreshments. I was mortified at the thought of eating in front of them....just seemed wrong!

    

        
wmamey
on 12/4/12 8:18 am
RNY on 06/18/12
On December 4, 2012 at 1:39 AM Pacific Time, Cindyagogo wrote:

Does seem to be a bit of an oxymoron. We had a WLS reunion at the hospital, attended by all the staff and surgeons....same thing...lots of refreshments. I was mortified at the thought of eating in front of them....just seemed wrong!

Thank you!! I am not at all happy about it but after reading everyone's post I am going to try and be positive about it. It just seems like this is defeating the purpose - I enjoyed going there without having to think about food in front of me.
            
LouLouAmbrosia
on 12/3/12 5:54 pm - OH
My support group has one of these at Christmas only. At first, i tought the same as you, but after more thought, I'm okay with it. Portion control and food choice is a part of life. Some may attend and choose not to eat, some may go overboard and will pay the consequences, Nd some will follow plan and do okay, others won't go at all, because they might have the same thoughts you do. I mean no disrespect ... Is it possible you could go for the experience, talk about your concerns when you're there and maybe come away from it gaining something you didn't expect? (and not pounds, either!) Best wishes!

Height:  5' 2"      HW: 322 (7/31/12)     SW: 292 (10/31/12)     Current:  220 (3/20/13)
GOAL WEIGHT: 140

    

    
Souperwoman
on 12/3/12 6:28 pm - Pittsburgh, PA
RNY on 11/20/12

In theory, I get it.  In a perfect world where everyone was at the same phase of their journey, it's a good way to share WLS friendly, healthy yet yummy holiday foods with others.  The big problem lies with the fact that not everyone is at the same place in their diets.  If its anything like my support group, there are people at all stages from pre-surgery to veterans.  If someone is on the clear liquid diet or, like me, restricted to purees because I'm so early out, then even the healthiest dishes are a major bummer.  

I know we all have to learn how to get past that--to function in the "normal" eat-all-the-bad-stuff world and be happy with what we can/should have..but I totally get the hesitation as the support group is supposed to be a "safe place".


     

Kat Kat
on 12/3/12 6:31 pm, edited 12/3/12 6:31 pm - AZ

Well…..I think this might be about perspective. Remember just because YOU had WLS, the rest of the world did not, so why not view this as an opportunity. At some point you’re going to have to deal with these types of situations, so why not make the first time in the most supportive place you go to? Just think, if you’re feeling weak, you’ll have your WHOLE support group there. This won’t be as easy for you at a business luncheon, a fabulous New Year’s party, or on a dream cruise that often have buffets. I say go, but make a game plan on how to approach these types of situations, and make this less about the food, and more about fun, then put that plan in action with the goal focused on success. You might start by planning what new party outfit to wear, maybe work with the leader on introducing a few fun party games to play, and think about the friends you’ll have time to chat with. 

You might try to reframe this as a learning experience too in which you can sample interesting new WLS friendly recipes that you might adopt as your own.

Remember I was SMO myself and actually over 100 lbs. heavier than you, so I understand these challenges, but life goes on and we have to learn to enjoy these situations rather than view them as personal attacks.

 

            

wmamey
on 12/4/12 8:34 am
RNY on 06/18/12
On December 4, 2012 at 2:31 AM Pacific Time, SexyKat wrote:

Well…..I think this might be about perspective. Remember just because YOU had WLS, the rest of the world did not, so why not view this as an opportunity. At some point you’re going to have to deal with these types of situations, so why not make the first time in the most supportive place you go to? Just think, if you’re feeling weak, you’ll have your WHOLE support group there. This won’t be as easy for you at a business luncheon, a fabulous New Year’s party, or on a dream cruise that often have buffets. I say go, but make a game plan on how to approach these types of situations, and make this less about the food, and more about fun, then put that plan in action with the goal focused on success. You might start by planning what new party outfit to wear, maybe work with the leader on introducing a few fun party games to play, and think about the friends you’ll have time to chat with. 

You might try to reframe this as a learning experience too in which you can sample interesting new WLS friendly recipes that you might adopt as your own.

Remember I was SMO myself and actually over 100 lbs. heavier than you, so I understand these challenges, but life goes on and we have to learn to enjoy these situations rather than view them as personal attacks.

 

Thank you!! I hear what you are saying but I have been around these situations. BBQ's were in full swing when I had my surgery. I did very well with that around everyone who had not had surgery. But this is MY place where others had surgery, not a regular situation, a support group for WLS patients. Trust me I am forced to stare down food everyday - it is beyond present at work right now! I have 4 children, a husband, and my father, and a grandchild; I cook for all of them. But this was the one place food wasn't. So I am going with the fact that it is only once (I HOPE) and will go from there.
Considered this group has had talk about entertainment and getting togther doesn't have to be about eating, I was just disappointed.
Oh yeah, I do have a really HOT new outfit to wear, lol!!
            
MultiMom
on 12/3/12 7:27 pm - NH

Yeah, what she said ^^^^ (well said SexyKat!)

High 250/Consult Weight 245/Surgery 205/Now 109
Height 5'4.5" BMI 18.4
In maintenance since June 2009

JanBooth
on 12/3/12 9:21 pm - KY
RNY on 09/25/12

I agree with Sexy Kat (I think that was the name?) and to consider this a learning experience.  I would look at it as a life challenge to overcome. 
Our support group is having a holiday party on the 13th. I'll have to see what's in store, as it's my first time to gather with them for a party.
Maybe you can bring your own food/drink so that you don't have to deal with making choices?  That's what I plan to do.

Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~ Dr. Seuss~
        
wendydettmer
on 12/3/12 9:45 pm - Rochester, NY

I think part of this process is understanding and trying to navigate life situations.  It can be easier to do when you are around a support group then alone.  I would consider it a 'dry run'.  We all need food to live.  Pot lucks are everywhere. Food is everywhere.  I agree that get togethers don't have to be about food, but since we cannot always avoid that situation, sometimes they will be.

 

But I do agree that if you feel you cannot handle it, then you are making a good choice by not going.  

Follow my vegan transition at www.bariatricvegan.com
HW:288    CW:146.4   GW: 140    RNY: 12/22/11  

      

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