Emotional day

Ugh....some days I really hate this life.  Today (don't ask me why today) I woke up on the wrong side of the bed.  I spent alot of time yesterday dwelling on adoption.  I found myself very angry and emotional over the PCOS that I have.  I found myself hating people I don't even know (Kim Kardashian...lol) for being able to get pregnant.  My husband and I have tried for almost 10 years.  We don't have the$, right now, to do IVF and my insurance doesn't cover it.

How does this apply to this forum?  I'm an emotional wreck today.  (thank God I have my own office to weep in privately)  I'm trying SO hard not to eat these feelings.  I just keep thinking Cool Ranch Doritos would make me feel better.  I know better.  It won't.  It won't change my infertility.  It won't change my husband's reluctant feelings towards adoption.  It won't change anything.  I need to find a way to deal with this. 

 Hey, we all need support for more than our weight issues.  We all have real lives and issues that go beyond weight loss.  It's good that you're sharing them here and looking for emotional support rather than "eating your feelings". 

Sending prayer for comfort your way.

Hi Hollie,

I just want to give you a huge (((((((((((HUG))))))))))))) from someone who has been-there-done-that.  I had to undergo IVF treatments to get pregnant with my ex-husband (we had male infertility he had an almost 0 sperm count that was unexplained) and in my case, thankfully our insurance covered it.  I know its very expensive and that must be devastating.  I know how much it hurts when all your friends and family members around you are getting pregnant at the drop of a hat and you are trying every month so hard to get pregnant yourself.  It really is difficult.  I remember having to go to baby showers and putting on a fake smile for my friends and family when inside I was dying.  I would cry all the time (especially in my car) and used food to comfort the horrid emotional feelings I was going through.  This happened to me before I had RNY and I only gained more and more weight. 

If you aren't already doing so, please seek out the help of a counselor.  It will help and they can give you coping skills to help deal with the emotional roller-coaster ride you are on now. 

Cry, kick and scream about it and don't feel bad!!!  Sometimes, crying can be therapeutic and cleansing, but if you get 'stuck' there are various things you can do to get out of it.  If you would like, message me privately here and I can tell you what I've learned in therapy to help when you are 'stuck.'  There are things you can do and they work.

(((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))))))))) again!  Like the saying goes 'what doesn't kill you makes you stronger!!!'  and I'm sure you are one tough cookie!!!  Good luck sweetie!

M'Lane

((((Hollie)))))

Thank you, everyone, for your words of encouragement.  This is more heart wrenching than being MO....which, on a good note, I am no longer.

I agree with everything posted above.  This is such a tough issue as I feel like it is not one that people openly talk about.  We hold it in and tend to feel like a failure as a woman.  I do have a 6 1/2 year old and it was just not in the cards for me to have another.  It drives me crazy that people STILL will make comments like are you going to ever try for number two???  Seriously?  I am 39 and my daughter is almost 7 don't you think I might have?

Vent, scream and cry all you want.  Because sometimes it does just feel like life is not fair.  But you know you have come way to far to turn to food.  I am not sure how you can deal with it but I am sending you a giant hug and applauding you for knowing that you can't and shouldn't turn to food.  You should be proud of yourself for that. 

I really hope everything falls into place your you soon.  I have a friend who is finally pregnant after 6 years of trying.  As I told her...when you see that little baby you will know that is the one you have been waiting for.

 Just wanted to send some love and hugs to you. Sorry you are going through this.

Sending love, and prayers for your peace of mind and asking God to touch you and heal you.

Oh, Hollie - I've been through all that, too (PCOS, infertility treatments) - it costs so much financially and emotionally. I'm 43, no longer married, and accepting the fact that the closest I'll get to motherhood is my eight-year-old niece. It's not the end of the world to be childless, but I do get down about it sometimes.

Good on you for not turning to Doritos - instead I'll give you a virtual (((HUG))) - see, no calories? Hang in there, I do pray that your dreams come true!

Hey girlie,

I have PCOS as well  - I'm so sorry you are going through this! As much as I've dreamed about the day I'll be married and wanting to have a child I've also dreaded it because what if I can't.  The only light at the end of my tunnel is that it seems my period is like clock work now.  Literally every month on the dot no exceptions. 

I will keep you in my thoughts - I hope things work out for you!

Hugs!